Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 10 of 11 1 2 8 9 10 11
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 250
F
fightin Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 250
Thanks Hawker. You're right, we are the ones doing the work and while I do have things to work on I am not responsible for my WW's decision to step out on our M.

V, I'm in IC and working on my issues, most of which go back to childhood, specifically a trauma and also my interactions with my father so I'm definitely doing the work there and I know I'll be the better for it and I'm looking forward to it. Thanks for the support.


Me: 35 W: 32
MR: 2y T: 3.5y
SS11
BD: 11/3/16
EA: 10/26/16
PA: 11/11/16
W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16
Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL
I filed for D: 12/14/16
D-day: 3/10/17
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 250
F
fightin Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 250
Anyone have any insight to the way my SS's dad is acting and how I should handle it? Am I being paranoid?


Me: 35 W: 32
MR: 2y T: 3.5y
SS11
BD: 11/3/16
EA: 10/26/16
PA: 11/11/16
W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16
Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL
I filed for D: 12/14/16
D-day: 3/10/17
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 104
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 104
Hey, fightin. Little confused reading back through things. So, SS's dad is being weird how, exactly? And I'm lost - SS wants you to adopt him or SS's dad??? O_o


Me: 36
Ex-H: 36
Met/friends 9/2000
Fling 5/2002-8/2002
R: 2/2005
M: 8/2/2008
Ex-H online A: 11/2009 (discovered)
Ex-H filed 8/1/2014
D final 10/2015

DS: 19 (mine)
DD: 7 (with Ex-H)
DD: 2 (mine)
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 57
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 57
Hi fightin,

You are doing so so well! I am very surprised and very glad! It's both good and bad that the big D is moving forward so fast. But we just need to focus on the good and build on it. In Australia, you can't filed for D unless you have been separated for 12 months. When you are going through emotional ups and downs, not making any decisions is best, but it does put me in agony, especially with him coming over playing with S seemingly happy, and asking me how is my wellbeing and how he still care about me. Apparently that is just temp checking and attempting to cake eat...?! I don't know anymore. You are in a better place now as you are moving on.

As for your ss's dad, he obviously has his own problems. I guess act "as if" can also apply in this situation. Don't react to his strange comments. Be friendly but not invest in the conversations. He will stop when he's not getting the reaction he's hoping. Hope that helps:)


Me: 33 H: 32
T: 10 years M: 2
BD: Aug 2016
H moved out Aug 20, 2016
S: 17 months old
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 250
F
fightin Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 250
Rave, SS's dad said he wanted to adopt me. He also asked if he and my SS could come visit me, but didn't mention his wife coming along and then over the weekend my the dad is the one that said he didn't want me to leave. Hope that clarifies.


Me: 35 W: 32
MR: 2y T: 3.5y
SS11
BD: 11/3/16
EA: 10/26/16
PA: 11/11/16
W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16
Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL
I filed for D: 12/14/16
D-day: 3/10/17
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 250
F
fightin Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 250
Raev* sorry my autocorrect changed your name and I didn't catch it.


Me: 35 W: 32
MR: 2y T: 3.5y
SS11
BD: 11/3/16
EA: 10/26/16
PA: 11/11/16
W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16
Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL
I filed for D: 12/14/16
D-day: 3/10/17
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
Originally Posted By: fightin
...sorry my autocorrect changed your name and I didn't catch it.


I use the very same excuse when I message my xW. She's beginning to get suspicious.

Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 148
B
bsb Offline
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 148
Thank you for the words of encouragement!!

Glad you are still doingok with this moving so fast. A lot of us wouldn't be so strong. Keep us updated

Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 250
F
fightin Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 250
Ha, Doodler! That made me giggle, thanks for that!

Thank you as well, bsb, for your encouragement. It isn't easy, but I feel it is best for me to go ahead and move forward. It doesn't have to mean that I have given up on her/us completely, but it will protect me financially for now, and it will help me take steps towards moving on.


Me: 35 W: 32
MR: 2y T: 3.5y
SS11
BD: 11/3/16
EA: 10/26/16
PA: 11/11/16
W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16
Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL
I filed for D: 12/14/16
D-day: 3/10/17
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 250
F
fightin Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 250
Hi Rose,

Thank you so much for your kind words of support. I can't imagine having to wait 12 months for that, but I guess you'd just do it and move on best you can being separated. It amuses me how "conservative" and "family values" the US claims to be and yet I can get a divorce in 10 days just because I want to. So strange to me.

I'm so sorry you have to go through the agony, I imagine that would be difficult with seeing him all the time. Yes, he is just temp checking. Just like my STBXW "hoping we could still check in with each other", she just wants to be able to temp check me whenever she gets the urge. Plus, I think she hopes that my doing well without her will help her feel better about her cheating on me.

I hope you too can get to a place of moving on. Very difficult I know when you have your H there around you.

Thank you for the advice, I think that is good advice and I appreciate it.

Try to stay strong and keep your head up! You deserve to be happy no matter what!


Me: 35 W: 32
MR: 2y T: 3.5y
SS11
BD: 11/3/16
EA: 10/26/16
PA: 11/11/16
W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16
Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL
I filed for D: 12/14/16
D-day: 3/10/17
Page 10 of 11 1 2 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard