Alright guys, so I went out for a drink last weekend and was told by a friend of a friend that the W is struggling. She's started to realise that not everything was my fault and that the grass isn't greener.
She is a very stubborn woman and even if she did want to come back, I doubt that she would ever admit it to herself (let alone anyone else).
Its interesting to know that her mindset is changing.
Meanwhile, during my evening out, I was quite the lady magnet (first time that this has ever happened). One lady spent a lot of time giving me compliments and gave me her phone number. Now I know that this will go no-where, but It has given me a massive confidence boost and has made me see that my happiness doesn't just sit with my W - I can be happy with someone else.
Its given me a shift in attitude.
M - 36 / W - 32 S - 3 Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016 Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
Genuinely feel a sense of detachment now. I will always love my W and care for her, but the person she has been become now is not the woman I know.
I want to move forward with my life, concentrating on me and my S. I want to be happy and believe that I can be without the W. I'm beginning to see that I will be ok.
To all those who are at the beginning of the journey, you have my understanding and sincere sorrow - I know that you'll be going through hell and back and that these are some very dark times...
I wont go into too much detail, but would like to share that at one time I was thinking of suicide, I thought that my life was over and that I wasn't strong (or good) enough. Now I hope that non of you are this low, but if you are please know that things will get better, situations do improve and there is a life there for you. YOU DO MATTER! Drag yourself through each and every day, lean on people and get help from what ever source you need to.
I'm by no means through this situation, I have a very long journey still to travel, with many ups and downs, but I can now see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
M - 36 / W - 32 S - 3 Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016 Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
I still have a very long way to go and will need help when I fall and encouragement to dust myself and get back up. It's simply a message of hope to those who may take comfort from it.
Things do get better, I was one of the people who couldn't see that at the beginning and just want to let people know that they DO matter and that they NEED to believe in their own ability.
M - 36 / W - 32 S - 3 Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016 Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
Hey guys, as expected, a little bit of a down day today.
There's no basis for these feelings, however I get the impression that the W is moving forward with her life. A friend recently told me that during a conversation the W had mentioned that she felt bad for some of the conversations that she'd had with me but her responses (which were damn right cruel) were provided so that she didn't give me the wrong impression or false hope.
It would appear that she wants to be nothing but clear that this is done. Why this troubles me, I'm unsure.
I've been moving forward myself and am beginning to understand that happiness can be found in other places other than my W, but this has derailed my progress a little.
Any thoughts?
M - 36 / W - 32 S - 3 Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016 Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
It's normal. Yesterday, I actually had a Facebook memory pop up of an awesome Christmas party last year that I was with the X, and it kinda made me a little sad.
I had someone tell me divorce is akin to death, and I see pictures of my g'ma that passed and it makes me sad. Don't think of it as being derailed, but simply being human.
I hadn't viewed any of the W's social media for 3 months - in fact I'd blocked her from everything. Last night I used my ipad and found her emails on there (very long story). Stupidly I looked through them and found her new twitter handle. Even more stupidly I looked at what I could see (which was only responses to her tweets).
One response was basically saying that "he's not worth it, if he's the kind of guy that'll dump you by text, you're better off without him".
I have no idea how long this has been going for - she left 4 months ago and for her to refer to being "dumped" would suggest a significant length of time, not just a week or two...
This woman has looked me in the eye and said that there is no-one else, she has been damn right cruel to me and directed all her anger at me, blaming me for everything that went wrong.
I've got to spend Christmas morning with this woman (for the sake of my S). She's a prolific liar and I don't even see a point in confronting her and asking her if this was the reason she left.
I was doing really well, feeling strong and then this! She's getting sympathy from so called "friends" on Twitter for a relationship that at most could be 6 months - never mind the 18 year relationship she walked away from!!!
What do I do guys? How am I mean to feel?
M - 36 / W - 32 S - 3 Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016 Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
