Sad Dad needs help II

[Hopful]

Thanks guys. That's what I needed to hear.

[Hopful]

Having a pity party right now. Hallowens always been one of my fav holidays. Spending the first one of my life alone. Had plans with D but W made her feel guilty bc SHE was having to spend it alone. Divorce [censored]. Esp when you don't want it.

[hawker]

Hang in there Hopful...the "firsts" stink...I remember how sorry I felt for myself when I went on my "first" trip back home without the W....it gets better in time....D does stink if you do not want it...my W told me today that she was going to start the paperwork...ugh...

[Hopful]

I'm sorry. I hope stuff works out for all of us on here.

[Surfer]

Hopful,

You can only do your best and that means being the best version of you. Try to stop thinking about how she feels is you can - I feel a fraud for saying this as I really struggle with it too. Sometimes its a breeze however....

You really can only focus on you and your kids. Forget what she is up to and what she thinks or feels. Just observe what is going on. Do the opposite of what you have been doing. Don't chase hee, call or text at all unless you MUST. She will contact you. The more you chase, the more you will push her away. Plan things for you and your D. Yes the 'firsts' are crappy but so what. It was my first Halloween without them last night. However, we dressed up the house the day before and I got lots of sweets in for neighbouring kids for when they came.

I also gave myself a treat - a couple of drinks with friends. All in all went well.....

It's never as bad as you think. If your W has a pity party with your D that's not ideal, but you can perhaps say it's okay for M to miss you and us. That's normal. She knows she should be at home so it's okay for her to feel these feelings. It means she has normal feelings for you and us. Put their mind at rest some how.

Surfer.