The Woman is Pure Evil

[Zues126]

Safe trip. I still have to read your thread. Did not forget.

W sounds very manipulative. have you heard of Dalia Dippolito? She tried to have her H murdered. There are recordings of her conversation after she was apprehended (google search it). Very interesting how she tries to manipulate her H even after she tried to kill him. It comes down to: Do not believe anything they say and 50% of what they do.

Best,

RAI

I recommend watching this video on youtube. There is one with good commentary by 'feminism lol' that you can see by adding the word 'manipulation' to the search with 'Dalia Dippolito'.

Clearly she reflects an almost zero percentage of females in that she attempted to have her spouse killed, but it is telling to see the ways she attempts to manipulate her betrayed spouse. I'm not saying it's an easy button to get detached, but I'm not saying it's not either.

[RDS]

Each day that goes by should be a day where I’m closer to moving away from her, but it’s not. I read nearly everyone’s threads, even if I rarely post in them. My sitch is different than most on here so I don’t really know what support I can provide. Neither one of us cheated, our only child is grown and living her own life, my W left for good reasons, and more importantly, all our conversations are friendly and we don’t argue. In fact, she made me lunches for the week and just dropped by the house and gave them to me. I try not to read too much into it because my W was always so giving to me and it’s only now how I appreciate it again. I think she likes how surprised and thankful I am (which is the truth).

We’ve been talking about our married lives in such detail that its’ almost as if I’m rediscovering her. We stopped talking years ago so this is really refreshing. I almost feel guilty about how my sitch is going. My M may be dead and beyond repair, but I am thankful we’re not at each other’s throats. I am so thankful I’m not dealing with the issues a lot of the people on this board are dealing with. I give everyone extreme props for how you’re dealing with it.

I know after the court judgement I should hate her, but in retrospect, I’ve come to my senses. She was following her L’s advice and my L was so ineffective it was only natural I got screwed. I’m not going to skirt around it but I’m still hurt she used some of my DB against me. I’m still scrambling my finances around to keep my head above water. The system [censored] is all I can say.

However; having said all that I still have pain, lots of it. I’ve spent the last few days really scrubbing this house and getting it ready to sell. I’ve had a few realtors come through and a couple said they could get my house sold rather quickly and I won’t have to do much work, and some of the others say I have a lot of work to do to get top dollar. I don’t think those realtors understand I don’t have time to get top dollar. I need to get the house sold so I get from out from under it because not only for financial reasons but this house is a tomb of many memories. Every time I move a piece of furniture or pack boxes it brings to the surface more proof of how my life is changed forever and there isn’t much I can do about it.

One of the hardest things I’m dealing with is selling my workout equipment. I’m selling most of the stuff for pennies to the dollar. I just have to get rid of it. Today I sold my treadmill. Unlike a lot of people, I actually used my treadmill. I used to run 5-6 miles a day on it, with only 1 day a week for rest. After BD day I would go days between runs and then it might be 2-3 miles at a time. Seeing my treadmill go is even more proof the life I thought I would have is gone forever. Admittedly I do get resentful of my W for having to sell it.

In a couple of days it will be 4 months since BD day. I’ve changed for the better in so many ways and if my W didn’t leave me I would never have improved my life. I would have gone to my grave as a resentful and bitter man. So my overall outlook on life has improved. I have all the emotions now. I don’t only have anger anymore. I have them all; especially sadness. LOL.

September 15 is my anniversary date. It will be 32 years. I hope to God I can survive it.

[MrBond]

Hang in there. I'm not sure what you mean by saying that your sitch is different from others on here. It's pretty much the same.

[AndrewP]

RDS - I'm glad you're still stopping by here. Best of luck.

[vise82]

Hey , Hang in there, keep exposing yourself to the stuff that held those MR memories, with each time you do it will hurt less and less. Don't let the feeling stop you from doing what you need to do.

Just look at your anniversary date like any other date on the calendar. Look at it like a change of season from winter to spring or look at like a day to put our your garbage. It was a date of importance but to you now as you move forward its just another Thursday.

[RDS]

Hang in there. I'm not sure what you mean by saying that your sitch is different from others on here. It's pretty much the same.

I suppose when you look at it my sitch is the same as I'm separated from my W and it looks like divorce will happen. Where mine is different is we're on good talking terms, there is no child custody to hash out, and no infidelity to concern ourselves with. I'm hating life right now, but compared to most around here I'm not in as bad a shape.

[RDS]

Thanks for the kind words everybody.

[Zues126]

RDS- I don't know if you saw, but I threw up a post on my thread in "surviving the big D". My D is now totally finished after two years.

After I wrote it I thought of you. I am so glad I handled my D like I did, and I really feel it was almost magical how it worked out based on the way I approached it. Please check it out.

Take care.

[RDS]

Zues,

I read your thread in Surviving the Big D". It was a interesting read and it was good to see you have many supporters over there.

You wrote a lot of stuff that resonated with me. One of the things you wrote was along the lines of we are in a free country to do as we please, but after divorce I can be locked into a judgement that prevents me from doing what I want to do if I don't make at least a certain amount of money.

I can be perfectly happy living in a small 1 bedroom house with the bare necessities. My hobbies are cheap so I don't have to work to give me the money to play. I am a simple man but I always aimed to better myself and work my way up the ladder to have the "American dream" for my family. For the most part I achieved that. But now, depending on the final mediation I will ALWAYS have to pay my wife something. She will have the luxury of following her dream because it's so easy to do when you know someone else is footing a majority of your income.

There won't be a temporary alimony because of the length of my M. In SC it is the way it is. It will be until I retire and then I will have to go to court and get the alimony adjusted.

What really cuts the wound with me is I feel as if I'm getting punished for doing the "right" thing. I always worked hard, and like you, I was the top dog. I have never had a bad review. All my reviews were excellent to outstanding. That is how I kept getting promoted. For about 5 years I was working 80+ hours to get ahead. My W used to be a hard worker until about 10 years ago. Long story short she gave up her high paying career when she was laid off and kind of gave up. She took menial jobs after that and for four years she didn't work at all. She just took a job this January where she barely clears minimum wage but it's a job "she loves".

I would be ecstatic if I could work in a job where I didn't care how much I made because I had other income I didn't have to work to get.

It's like the system punished the person who worked the hardest and rewards the person who took the easy way out. That is where I have the hardest time coming to terms with the fairness of it all.

Also, since my W is getting so much from me what incentive is there for her to even think about getting back together? Right now the money is all hers to spend as she sees fit. If we got back together then she loses that independence because the money becomes ours again. I will have to work my butt off to just barely survive with just the bare essentials and she will have an extra $2,000+ to spend as she sees fit.

[Ginger1]

Zues,


Also, since my W is getting so much from me what incentive is there for her to even think about getting back together? Right now the money is all hers to spend as she sees fit. If we got back together then she loses that independence because the money becomes ours again. I will have to work my butt off to just barely survive with just the bare essentials and she will have an extra $2,000+ to spend as she sees fit.

You wouldn't want her to just get back together because she doesn't have extra money, would you? You don't want that to be her incentive.

Think a little more of your self worth.