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She's just asked for divorce ... #2689161
07/05/16 06:01 AM
07/05/16 06:01 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 273
UK
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bashy Offline OP
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bashy  Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 273
UK
Hi all. This is a link to my previous thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...158#Post2582158
But something new has now developed after a year or so of everything ticking along nicely.
All has been pretty good as I continue to rebuild my life. My WAW and I get on ok…. We did until today. She has asked for divorce. This is the third time in nearly three years. I’ve told her that is fine but I am not paying for it. She said I either pay half the court fees (£250) or she will come after half my pension. Anyway, after a short row I hung up on her. Then the following text message conversation ensued….. if anyone can shed some light on what she’s thinking please tell me. She has been with OM in the last two years. They met (as far as I know) six months after our split:

Me: You are evil. After what you’ve done to me now you want whatever money you can get despite me keeping you on my life insurance policy. How did the person I marry turn into this.
WAW: Seriously Im not getting into this. You’re giving me 5% of you insurance. Give it to our daughter.
Me: Daughter is getting 90%. You get 5%. I did it because I wanted to look after you both no matter who you met.
Her: All Im asking is £250. Put it into perspective. No matter what you say Im entitled to your pension but I wasn’t prepared to go after it if you paid your £250 share.I would make more gains if I did go down the pension route. Im not wanting a fight. It’s your choice but you need to let me know as Ive held off long enough considering your feelins.
Me: I would have given you a divorce a year ago but as I said…. This was all your decision so you pay for it. This pension was started shortly before we broke up. For our daughter and me. As I said, you are evil and I hope you are proud. If you are still planning this Ill have a decision 100% this weekend.
Her: Ok. I will pursue this. You will need a solicitor.
Me: Evil
Her: Think what you like.
Me: What you’ve done. Destroying a family and now coming back for blood. Glad you are proud.
Her: I didn’t destroy it when our marriage wasn’t that strong to begin with. The day and hour you decided to cheat on me was the day you destroyed any future we had. I may have forgiven you at the time but I never forgot that you were this disloyal and untrustworthy. You were the evil one.
Me: Haha that old chestnut. Why get married then after? So it was revenge then. Even more evil.
Her: Youre pathetic and twisted for even thinking that. I I did it because I loved you and we had a daughter together. Our love ended due to your work which I told you time and again it was affecting our relationship. Then we were non stop fighting. Why the hell would I want to continue a marriage when we argued every day. Also I could never trust you. You lied so many times and were gd at it.
Me: We got on brill at the end. The reason was my work and being tired on night shift and not spending enough time with you. I’ll regret that till the day I die. I gave you everything I had once we were married…. Would your mum have accepted me back into her life if I was still the idiot I had been before? I really worked hard so we had money. I wanted you to have the best but realise now you wanted my time and attention as well. I know my faults now and what I did wrong and I’m very sorry about it not working.

She has not responded to this.
Please guys and gals.... any advice would be great. Thank you all


M 35 W 31
D 10
Married 3 years
Together 11
Single since Nov 13
Moved out Dec 13
ILYBNILWY, 'I don't want to be a boring housewife, 'I don't fancy you any more'
OM confirmed Jun 14
Re: She's just asked for divorce ... [Re: bashy] #2689164
07/05/16 06:15 AM
07/05/16 06:15 AM
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 194
UK
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Barry Offline
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Barry  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 194
UK
Pay the £250, and let her get on with divorcing you.


Me 40 W 38
T 23 M 21
S21 S19 D16 S14
BD 19/12/2014
D mentioned 27/2/2015.
I filed 08/04/2015, D Absolute 04/11/2015
Re: She's just asked for divorce ... [Re: Barry] #2689171
07/05/16 06:28 AM
07/05/16 06:28 AM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,045
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MoveFrwd Offline
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MoveFrwd  Offline
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Originally Posted By: Barry
Pay the £250, and let her get on with divorcing you.


Agree. What are you gaining by holding out? What's the overall financial impact of paying vs not paying?

And I'd quit with this 'evil' business. I can't imagine that is helping you to achieve any of your goals.

Re: She's just asked for divorce ... [Re: Barry] #2689173
07/05/16 06:36 AM
07/05/16 06:36 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,306
NY
Cadet Offline

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Cadet  Offline

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Posts: 13,306
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Originally Posted By: Barry
Pay the £250, and let her get on with divorcing you.

If your pension is worth more than 250 then I agree with this advice.

Protect yourself finacially is first step and really has nothing to do with DB.
Also agreeing to her divorce is likely a 180.


Me-67, D34,S33
Re: She's just asked for divorce ... [Re: MoveFrwd] #2689174
07/05/16 06:37 AM
07/05/16 06:37 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 273
UK
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bashy Offline OP
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bashy  Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 273
UK
I suppose reading back on the above I sound nuts ha! Anyway, Ive got back to her and said I'll pay the 250. None of this is what I ever wanted. I truly have been moving on but when we start arguing it brings everything back


M 35 W 31
D 10
Married 3 years
Together 11
Single since Nov 13
Moved out Dec 13
ILYBNILWY, 'I don't want to be a boring housewife, 'I don't fancy you any more'
OM confirmed Jun 14
Re: She's just asked for divorce ... [Re: bashy] #2689176
07/05/16 06:44 AM
07/05/16 06:44 AM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,045
M
MoveFrwd Offline
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MoveFrwd  Offline
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M
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,045
Originally Posted By: bashy
I suppose reading back on the above I sound nuts ha! Anyway, Ive got back to her and said I'll pay the 250. None of this is what I ever wanted. I truly have been moving on but when we start arguing it brings everything back


So stop arguing?

Re: She's just asked for divorce ... [Re: MoveFrwd] #2689178
07/05/16 06:46 AM
07/05/16 06:46 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 273
UK
B
bashy Offline OP
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bashy  Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 273
UK
First argument in a year to be fair.


M 35 W 31
D 10
Married 3 years
Together 11
Single since Nov 13
Moved out Dec 13
ILYBNILWY, 'I don't want to be a boring housewife, 'I don't fancy you any more'
OM confirmed Jun 14
Re: She's just asked for divorce ... [Re: bashy] #2689182
07/05/16 06:53 AM
07/05/16 06:53 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,306
NY
Cadet Offline

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Cadet  Offline

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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,306
NY
Also get this in writing.
That she is not going after your pension.


Me-67, D34,S33
Re: She's just asked for divorce ... [Re: Cadet] #2689185
07/05/16 06:55 AM
07/05/16 06:55 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 273
UK
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bashy Offline OP
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bashy  Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 273
UK
Ok. Thank you for that. I'll do that. All this coming up is making me realise how drama free my life is when I am not in contact with her.


M 35 W 31
D 10
Married 3 years
Together 11
Single since Nov 13
Moved out Dec 13
ILYBNILWY, 'I don't want to be a boring housewife, 'I don't fancy you any more'
OM confirmed Jun 14
Re: She's just asked for divorce ... [Re: bashy] #2690611
07/14/16 04:12 AM
07/14/16 04:12 AM
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 194
UK
B
Barry Offline
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Barry  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 194
UK
Hi Bashy, just wanted to say good luck really.
I hope it all works out for you. Barry


Me 40 W 38
T 23 M 21
S21 S19 D16 S14
BD 19/12/2014
D mentioned 27/2/2015.
I filed 08/04/2015, D Absolute 04/11/2015

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

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