I want to hear your story and I want to know why your name is misspelled.
Im not really planning to share the details of my story. The basics are that I am divorced and moved on to a new life of being the best parent, friend, colleague, and partner I can be. I've been through the wringer and come out the other side.
They only allow 7 letters in the user names, and I figured if I made it "drkness", then you guys would think I meant "dorkness"
- Everyone's perception is their reality. You cant convince someone that what they are feeling is wrong. That's akin to telling them that they dont feel hungry, or hot, or tired. If they feel neglected, abused, threatened, disappointed, frustrated, etc, then thats how they feel. Even if you didnt mean to cause these feelings, thats how they are feeling. That doesnt necessarily mean that what you did was 'wrong', but thats how they feel. Don't try to convince them otherwise.
It's so hard to think that you dont have control over your own life. I know I have felt that way; that my ex had all of the control in the end of our R and I had none. But thats garbage. I always had control of me and only me. I forgot that my partner was continually making a choice to be with me. So now, I do what I need to in order that my new partner will wake up and choose to be with me each and every day.
Just checking in to see what other words of advice and wisdom, darknes has today.
Detachment is HARD. And it's a process.
I find that even today, I still have moments where I think back and wander down some cheeseless tunnels.
How did it come to this? Why couldnt we make things work? How could that person do this to me? Why didnt I get a "fair shot"?
It could be a song on the radio, a certain place, a certain person, a certain saying....lots of different little triggers are out there that can remind you of the past. All you can do is watch for them and stop yourself as you start to wander down those tunnels. Theres nothing good at the end of them.