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SunFunOne #2678339 05/17/16 11:36 AM
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I'm on the Wii bandwagon as well! We all care about you and don't want you to keep your heart be on hold for this guy, because it's just going to get continually disappointed and broken. I have personal experience with this. It was hurt twice and then after that she came back after several months wanting a R with me. I tried to let her back in and it just wasn't the same and it ended up with me having to end it with her, which was messy to say the least.

You've gotten your opportunity to state your mind with him. Now it's time to appreciate the good that you got out of the R with him, learn from the lessons and march on to better things on the horizon.

Best,
BA

BeginningAgain #2678349 05/17/16 11:52 AM
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I do really appreciate how much you guys care.

And I am on the bandwagon too:) I did what I needed to do, time to take the good and move on.

Ginger1 #2678414 05/17/16 03:02 PM
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(((Ginger)))


You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
JksD #2678503 05/17/16 09:30 PM
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Wow, I'm not used to having a bandwagon...usually it's just an ice cream truck that only serves vanilla.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
whatisis #2678868 05/19/16 05:24 AM
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WII, usually the only bandwagon I am on is the ice cream truck! But I am a chocolate gal:)

Saw my IC yesterday and told her everything. She said I seem so much lighter and at peace. She was worried prior to this that if I didn't do this, I would be too distracted to enjoy my vacation, and she is right, I would have been. We spoke of his daughter, which has been paining me. I had bought her a birthday card with a little gift, but didn't send it, because I figured if she forgot about me, all the better. I didn't want to overstep boundaries either. When I told IC how said it made me that she doesn't stop talking and asking about me I figured she might feel abandoned and forgotten. I never did get to say good bye. She did suggest I ask him if I can send a little card letting her know I think of her and care about her. So I asked last night and he said he thinks she would really like that. So, I'm, going to do it. It's tough, all four of us miss one another.

I'm just sort of sad, but no longer burdened or angry. We discussed him and she said she can understand why I still care. I have a soft spot for good hearts that want to open but struggle. Maybe because that was me. But there is only so much I can do.

Anyways, enough about that part of my life. Time to even stop talking about it now. Less head space, the better.

three more sleeps and I'll be leaving on a jet plane. Me and my bestie were talking last night and we both agree there is no one we would rather take this vacation with than eachother. I am lucky to have a friend like that. Even thought she signed me up to chaperone the 8th grade formal with her. I will have to learn to forgive her for that one.

Ginger1 #2678994 05/19/16 11:37 AM
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LOL!
I'm a firm believer that vacations can solve a world of problems. Have fun! Enjoy! Your head and heart will clear.
You are on to new and better things.

Barb

SunFunOne #2679070 05/19/16 04:49 PM
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G we negotiate the distance everyday. I am off this week. Been home alone the entire week and struggle with the commitment myself. I go from anoyed to being pissed. She couldn't take the time off. Not her fault.

I love her that much that I would travel the world for her and I will deal with my own nuances. Yes it makes me crazy living out of 2 places.

But she is worth the hassle. And so are you. You really are my friend..Don't sell yourself short..


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





Rick1963 #2679104 05/19/16 07:24 PM
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Rick,

You and the wifey are the reason why I don't back down from my stance. Love does conquer distance. It's not easy by any means, but it can for sure be worth it. And both parties need to feel that way. I did. He didn't. We actually discussed that. I will respect the fact it is not where he is in his life, and I will also respect the fact that I want to receive that kind of love.

Old me would have settled for less than that. New me recognizes my worth. And having this talk reminded me of that. His inability to give me that will not affect the way I view my worth.

I still have love for him, and probably always will on some level. I maintain what I said when I was dating him. I said even if it didn't work out, I would always be thankful of having the experience of loving him. But I know I am meant for someone who can reciprocate my love and effort.

I am actually excited to meet this guy I have been texting with. It's weird only have been texting for the past few weeks due to schedules and vacations, but I appreciate that he has stayed in contact even on his road trip with his daughter. I hope to meet him when we both get back. I will have zero expectations, but I think it is a good sign that I get happy when I see a text from him. And even if it doesn't click with him, I am looking forward whatever may come next.

I'm not going to lose hope.

Ginger1 #2679107 05/19/16 07:44 PM
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oh, on a totally different subject:

I had texted the other day that exH should see D8's swim team before it ends. he would be impressed. He never responded. Today, he showed up and I didn't know until the end because I worked out while D8 swam. I was really happy that he showed up for her. But then he baragged her with critiques of her swimming and she told me later she was upset and asked why daddy couldn't give her a compliment. I show her areas of improvement myself, but always make sure to compliment where she did great or improved.

he informed me today ex FIl has throat Cancer. I see ex FIL every Tuesday because he takes D8 to swim for me on Tuesdays and I meet them from work. He had a very raspy voice and he told me he has a growth, but it doesn't hurt, so it's probably nothing, but everyone is making me do this. That was when I knew it was throat cancer before he got the biopsy. he tells me in front of D8 and talks about his treatment options. D8 is no longer 2, and knows what we are saying is not good. She freaks out in the car thinking he is going to die. I explained everything to her in a way she could be comforted and understand.

I really wonder about my ex sometimes. D8 is now noticing his "shrortcomings". I have a feeling I will have to be doing a lot more damage control......

Ginger1 #2679134 05/20/16 03:02 AM
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Originally Posted By: Ginger1
I really wonder about my ex sometimes. D8 is now noticing his "shrortcomings". I have a feeling I will have to be doing a lot more damage control......

Error on the side of truth.
She will handle it, and it is the best parenting technique.

As far as the distance is concerned - YUP it takes WORK.
And I agree you are worth it - dont let anyone else convince you otherwise.


Me-68, D36,S35
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