Hey V ..yeah I'm mostly okay. Same H crap as always. Always wants to love on me, try to touch and hug me,call me,buy me gifts etc.
He brought me coffee the other day to work. Starbucks ordered my favorite way. Trying to be more firm again. I sometimes slip and do not come off as firm as I should because I do love him and I do want to feel loved but he still has ow so..it's not love for me. Just my body I guess. I dont know.
Went from 70% no contact to 1 90% no contact besides kids. So far on day 5 of ONLY talking about kids except for in person a few non kid ones.
Still working on me. Full time job. Full time mom..still gal when I can.
Tomorrow a wedding at my inlaws house with his whole family except him. He isnt going. Should be fun.
Red, I have this feeling that now is the time to go dark. If you can just let him know that you don't want to hear from him right now, and don't text, write, call, visit, etc. he will really miss you. Does ow have any idea that he is still grabbing and kissing you? I bet she'd be really po'd to know that. Don't tell her, whatever you do... she'll find out on her own. But what if, while he is still trying to keep you nearby, you just disappear?
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Im as dark as I can be with the kids. I have to talk about kids, what days he will have them because both our schedules changes,overtime etc but besides that Im as dark as I can be.
We still share our house so it makes it hard too. When he keeps kids overnight he comes home to be with them and I leave.
It is impossible to be 100% but 90% is as close as I can get
I think you are doing good, although I still can see that your H hasn't really missed you. I think NYGal has a good idea, try to go dark as much as you can. That's what I'm trying now even if I have kids and H still comes in the house. I have been NC/ dark for a day now ( please don't laugh :-)!. No change from H but today after my week of hell I felt super duper good as I didn't see H at all.
You have nothing to lose as your H like mine is with OW. You have an advantage is that H's actions show that he still cares about you. So do a complete 180, go dark and let him see what a super, talented and beautiful woman he is throwing away!
You're an animal. So impressed with the work you've done. Such a shame hubby is an idiot and missing out on this flower that is about to radiantly bloom.
M: 8.5 T:10 Me:37 W:34 S:6
Retrouvaille and W moves back- 7/31/15 Piecing - 7/4/15 to present
If you do not want physical contact Red then your WH actions verge on assault. I am uncomfortable from this side of the board and I am just an Internet support. I think.
Please truly take care.
I am sending you my rainbow strength.
Hugs
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I told him as long as there is OW Im limiting us to speaking just about kids. About 1.5weeka going on nc just about kids and he keeps trying to talk to me and says what does having someone else have to do with talking to you. He is an idiot. I just am trying my best to ignore him and be distant right now. Keeping myself busy by talking to a few of my guy friends when I feel like I need to have guy attention but not in a sexual way just kinda like hey..and they might tell me i look pretty that day. Simple things to boost my ego.
I have never posted on your site, but I have read a lot of it. your husband reminds me so much of a relationship I had when I was around 18. We did not have children or anything so I understand there is difference. But the common factors that really stand out to me is your husbands continued disrespect (both physically and mentally no? ) for clearly stated boundaries. Very controlling, from an outsider looking in. Also his very mysoginist and irrational attitude. (What's ok for him is not ok for you) I get this feeling that it's even more then just cake eating. I wish we could pm.
I am in agreement with vanilla.
You are doing incredibly well at divorce busting, and I think your husband will eventually come back to you. But I also think (again just an outsider point of view) that there are more things to consider then getting him to stop dating ow and come back to you.
I apologize if I am off base.
Can you tell us more about your relationship before husband left? How did you come to date? What were your fights about and what were they like?
He took the kids to his house an hour away last night for the first time. OW was there. I cried alone and in front of him I said nothing because I already asked him for that to be the only thing he doesnt to do me. Before the divorce is final. Idk how I feel about him anymore.. Today I bounce betweem hate..and disgust.
