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T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Sotto Offline OP
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Well, it's been a bit of a rollercoaster 24 hours and nothing at all to do with H!

Last night I went for a nice meal with my divorce group. Got home around midnight & went straight to bed. Unbeknown to me, the group were chatting on WhatsApp & were wondering why I didn't post when I got home (I normally do.) They became concerned & tried to ring me (phone was turned off). Next thing I know, one of the guys was ringing my doorbell at 1am to see if I was okay. Woke me up. I thought - who is this guy on my doorstep at 1am and assumed he was looking for a nightcap (or worse!) He said he just wanted to check I was okay and I (rather grumpily) said - yes?? & see you another time.

Well, it was only when I read the app this morning that I realised what had happened and that he and one of the girls had jumped in the car & driven for 20 mins to see if I made it home safe and was okay! I've apologised & explained I misunderstood and we all had a laugh about it, but I had a poor nights sleep worrying about it.

Then, this morning I lost my bank card and had to cancel it. Then this afternoon (good news really) I sold my car and they transferred funds to me and drove it away as soon as they cleared. So I now suddenly have no bank card and no vehicle!

So, I'm just trying to settle myself back down and recover from all of this. I cancelled an outing this evening with a good friend and she's a little miffed with me. But is was one of those moments when I thought - what do I have to do to look after myself here - and that was it. Anyway, hopefully life has stopped spiralling out of control for now and the rest of the weekend is a bit less eventful!

Take care all xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Joined: Jan 2000
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job Offline
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Sotto,
You've certainly had the busy night and day thus far of the weekend. I'm glad that your group is looking out for you even though you got a visitor in the wee hours. At least you know that they care about you and want to ensure you arrived home safely.

I'm sorry about the bank card. Hopefully it will turn up very quickly and you can then destroy it. Congratulations on the car sale!

Please take care of yourself.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Sotto Offline OP
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Thanks Job - yes lesson learned - always post and let them know I got home safe!

Hope you have a good Easter weekend xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
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I hope you have a nice Easter. Are you going to visit your parents or stay home and relax?


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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H Sotto. Sorry about your aggro but it's nice to the group care. Bank card is a pain but car sold , so ups and downs and in the long run only ups !!!!

When's the new car arriving ???

Have a good evening and take care. Rd. xx

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Thanks both. My Dad is away and Mum's in respite. I'll get over to visit her, transport permitting! I have social things on every day with friends & I'm volunteering at the bookstore on Monday I think.

RD, I pick up the car on Wednesday, so I'm looking forward to that. I just need to figure out how to pay for the insurance in the meantime without a bank card. I could ask H to use the joint acct card, but I don't really want to do that! I'll be glad to get the new car and have everything settle down a little...xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Sotto Offline OP
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Hi Job (or any others who may be reading...)

As you know, we're just settling finances and after that, my H is likely to finalise the D. We haven't seen each other for 18 months, or spoken for 9 months. Everything is via email and text and all pleasant. He is still with OW as far as I know.

At this point - on the bring of D. Do you think there is anything more or different I should think of doing. I'm resigned to the D and I guess the answer is probably just to sit back and let it happen - but I'm just checking to make sure!

Thanks for your support and advice xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
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Hi Sotto,

I hope you had a pleasant Easter.

I have seen many of them rush things to the point of separating everything and then just stalling. If you truly want the D, you could say something to him after settling the finances, but if you are actually in no hurry for the D, then I would sit quietly and see what he does.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Sotto Offline OP
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Thanks Job smile. From what I understand, I'll receive a sum of money when the £ agreement is signed (which will pay for the car and a it more.) Then a further sum once the agreement is court stamped. H's L has advised that H plans to finalise the D as soon as the £ agreement is signed. D still isn't what I want, but I guess I have already said that to H - and H is still going strong with OW at this point and I think will follow the D to conclusion.

If he doesn't finalise the D, I believe the option of doing that opens up to me two or three months later - even though he filed. So I guess I can review at that point and if I wanted to finalise things I could. The largest sum of money won't come my way until the house sells anyway, so I guess that is when things get more pressing.

I'll just sit tight and keep moving forward for now I think. Xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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