Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 8 of 10 1 2 6 7 8 9 10
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,666
L
LoisB Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,666
Otto! Where the heck are you? I'm 15 minutes away too, to the north. Have no idea how to convey exact locations or contact info on here???


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 5,893
Likes: 321
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 5,893
Likes: 321
agree to meet somewhere and have one of you carry or wear something distinctive?


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16

"You know who you were before & during your marriage. Find out who you are now. What are your core values? What do you really want? Then, live it!"
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,177
Likes: 50
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,177
Likes: 50
Heather,

There is a way to go about meeting up: set up a time and place and be there. Maybe one of you carries a book or flower so that the other one can locate you.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,593
Likes: 2
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,593
Likes: 2
So great to hear an update from you and such a positive one at that! And of course, it is so admirable to hear about all the results of your hard work. You are reaping what you alone have sown. Kudos to you on carving out a new life for you and your girls.

I know it isn't always easy to come back here so thank you for taking the time to post.


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,879
Likes: 299
K
kml Offline
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,879
Likes: 299
Heather -
So glad you posted, you sound great!

How're you doing on the financial front? Weren't you doing Debtors Anonymous or something similar to get control of your finances?

(For those reading who don't know Heathers whole story and struggle yourselves with finances, she was stuck without adequate support and had to go way outside her comfort zone to make a living and support her daughters, it's painful growth but she is proof it can be done!!!

Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 99
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 99
LoisB-- my house is in the valley behind Reynolds High School--I am in the Southeastern part of the county..and my zip is a Biltmore zip. So no---I am not north but southeast of the estate. I wish we could email each other---but I realize the issues that could come from disclosing info....just could not believe that you are close by! Ottocat

Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,177
Likes: 50
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,177
Likes: 50
Be careful w/giving too much info on here. Find a specific location and meet there, i.e., a church or a local coffee shop, but don't be too specific about where you live.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 99
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 99
Thanks Job ---I understand---things have changed a lot since the early days of this site. Thanks for all you do! Ottocat

Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,666
L
LoisB Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,666
Hi Ellie!

Yes, I'm still in D.A. I'm a sponsor now and honestly can't believe how much my life has changed.

I read a few of my really early posts. I was terrified. I had been told by EVERYONE around me that I was incompetent.

Anyway, YES! It can be done. And, for anyone scared out of there skull about being the sole breadwinner and creating a good life you and your kids. It can definitely be done. There's a ton of support out there, just yours for the asking :-)


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,538
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,538
Hi, so good to come here (as I do occasionally!!) and see a post from you. It feels as if you have received some closure from your xh.

The way you have pulled your life together and dealt with all the stuff that life has thrown at you has been inspirational. You are courageous and loyal, and have travelled such a long way from so much baggage that tried to pull you back, with your birth family and xh. I admire you greatly.

I have just had my first grandchild, which is an amazing experience, although tinged with a little sadness to be doing it alone.

As with all life changing events it sent xh into a tailspin (and he was doing quite nicely in relative terms for a long term MLCer!) He is now back into the world of no contact, and anger with me. The good news is that it washes over me these days. I even find it funny. In a fit of rage a few weeks back he told me that the real reason he left me (this is coming up to 12 years folks) is that I was bossy. And here was me thinking I had a character flaw. I mean is that the best he can do for abandoning his wife and three children after a long marriage?

We make our own lives. Your words are wise and you have walked the walk.

Page 8 of 10 1 2 6 7 8 9 10

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard