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Ginger,

Trust me, something better will come along and when it does you are going to be sooooo very happy that you and ex-NG didn't work out!

Good luck "fishing"! :-)

BA

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I agree with BA! You just don't realize it yet - but ex-NG wasn't "the one". He isn't good enough for YOU!

I met Josh online. I was 48 years old. I had no idea how to "date".

I've met you. You are a vibrant, intelligent, wonderful girl. The right man will be lucky to meet you. And he will know it. He will also embrace Gabby and everything in your life. And you should not have to move to find this.

I believe in you. When you told me about NG - I didn't feel that confident about him for you. I felt you were willing to "sell out" for him. He should have been willing to do that for you.

Enjoy testing the waters. The right fish is out there. Hope we get a chance to meet again. I will always remember our time in Disney - supposed to be one night yet we ended up at about 3 or 4 events - loved it all!

Barb

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I agree with BA! You just don't realize it yet - but ex-NG wasn't "the one". He isn't good enough for YOU!

I met Josh online. I was 48 years old. I had no idea how to "date".

I've met you. You are a vibrant, intelligent, wonderful girl. The right man will be lucky to meet you. And he will know it. He will also embrace Gabby and everything in your life. And you should not have to move to find this.

I believe in you. When you told me about NG - I didn't feel that confident about him for you. I felt you were willing to "sell out" for him. He should have been willing to do that for you.

Enjoy testing the waters. The right fish is out there. Hope we get a chance to meet again. I will always remember our time in Disney - supposed to be one night yet we ended up at about 3 or 4 events - loved it all!

Barb

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Oops. I must have hiccuped...

Barb

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BA and Barb, I hope I soon find the same faith you guys have for me! I'll get there eventually, it's just a dark, confusing time for me right now. I took a really fun Zumba class night last and found myself smiling and laughing which was certainly a good sign. And shaking my big old booty.

Barb, Disney was honestly one of the most wonderful times of my life. Not only did I get to meet you and Ryan and the women who care for him, but it was the first time in a long time I could recall being full of joy, at peace, and I remember saying to myself, while watching the Christmas Light parade at Magic Kingdom (this was after you know who said "I love you" for the first time) "this feeling is what I've been waiting for for so long, and everything just made sense. Hopefully, I will get that back, and I will become the me you you described (and thank you:)

Of course the one guy I actually want to meet lives in PA! Not far away PA, but atleast an hour. I've already been told to "F*ck off" by one guy ( his profile said he wasn't looking for anything serious, I told him I was, and said good look finding his match and he went off on me). This is going to be quite a trip! My last online date happened 2 days before I met exNG. It wasn't bad at all, actually it was a nice date.

I'd prefer the old fashioned way of meeting a guy, but I don't think I will get that lucky.

What will be will be.

P.S.- barb, I have 2 more chances to go back to Disney this year, adult trips only. I really hope to make it back one of those times, but time and finances are tight!

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Hey G

I hope you get back to Dis too. I got an email from them that it was 180 days before Rys next trip & I could book dining so I opted for Chef Mickey's - either dinner or lunch and can you believe it? Already full! I'd better book my Scary Halloween tickets soon then.

An hour away is not so bad. Josh and I were an hour and a half apart. We only met on weekends and took turns making the trip. But with job and daughter that could be problematic for you.

Yep - lots of jerks online but then - there are some gems too. Trick is to find one. Keep the faith,

Barb

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Oooh I would love to go to Disneyland alone with kid someday. We went when she was a kid but the trip just sort of svcked. I could never understand how anyone could be so grumpy in the land of magic!

Ginger, keep on keeping on! We will look for unicorns together. And if we can't find unicorns, maybe a horse with a fake horn might do? wink


You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
JksD #2675617 05/09/16 06:48 AM
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JksD, I highly recommend you go to Disney alone with your child. I was blessed beyond belief that my dad and stepmom gave us our trip for Christmas 2014, which we took Nov 2015. Grand Floridian, meal plan, park hopper, all I had to pay for was souveneirs and plane tickets. I told my ex when he left that I get the first Disney trip! However, years kept passing, and I never had enough money. My dad wanted us to do it right and not have to worry about money, and it was unreal. I was nervous about it being just me and her, but honestly, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. What an amazing experience to share. We met up with friends and their kids in epcot, we met up with barb a few times (even managed to run into them on "it's a small world" and we got to hop into their boat! The rest we shared as mom and daughter. And guess what? You get the best seats to dinner shows because there is rarely just 2 people, so they put you right up front! I think we both will treasure that trip forever.

So, I have had a run of really bad luck lately. Everything is going wrong. I'm not kidding. Not life altering bad luck, but a contant stream of stupid inconvenient happenings that just won't stop. One of them was my phone getting water damage. It's gone, done and I couldn't back it up. Which meant I lost a lot of memories. I managed to email myself all the Disney pics before the battery went completely dead, but I lost a lot of stuff. Nothing was backed up, apparently. Thankfully I post entirely too many pics to facebook, but now I am thankful, because I can save them from there. But yes, I did lose memories and videos and snippets I was holding onto from you know who. It was probably time to let go of those anyways.

So, I am realizing I have lots of good things in my life, and I am a huge a$$ for them not giving me joy. I still cognitively realize this, but I am still pretty depressed and cry a lot. I make every effort to focus on the good, feel joy from the good things I have, but I am failing right now. It is weird when you cognitively know your blessings, but can't derive joy from them, because the things that are lacking are taking over. I know this is wrong, I know this borderlines ungratefulness, and I need to figure it out. I am sure I will at some point. I'm going to keep trying. Seeing my IC this week finally, hopefully she can help.

I'm hoping this is just a bad period, and I need to just endure it until it's gone. Jamaica in less than 2 weeks, I am praying that is my reset button where I can really take the space I need to put things in perspective.

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Ahhhh, the good ol' days of 2x4's. I think I have one coming to me......

I made a move, I don't know if it is right or wrong, guess I'll find out tonight or tomorrow. It was not one that I sat on for 48 hours but one I sat on for a month and a half.

I can put so many details, about why I did what I did, but its not necessary now, I just know I needed to do it. Random people, like my foot doctor who hasn't seen me in a while look at my face and ask me if I'm ok. Everyone does. I look a mess because when something won't get off my mind, it affects my functioning.

So, last night, I texted ex NG. I asked if we could talk. He said yes. I need to clear one thing out of the air before I am able to be with the both of them in the same place. I need to clear the air so I ccan be right with myself again and move onto bigger and better things. So, he said he might have dinner p lans with a friend, he may not go, but to give him a call tonight.

I am nervous as I can be. My intention is not to rehash the past. he just realized I unfriended him from FB.(he never goes on, but I guess when he did he tried not look me up, and found we were no longer friends) Asked friend why. I figured this was the time to explain why.

I need to do this. It may not have the results I desire, but I think it has been the burning desire to just hear what he has to say about his immediate new girlfriend, whether its what I want to hear or not, might bring me some peace and I can be in the same place as them.

I've held everything in from his except from that one email, which I don't even think he got. I have STFU except for that since we broke up, and it's eating away at me. And you all know how horrible I was at STFU with my ex. I did it differently this time, but I need to do this because so I can move on, get an ounce of closure, and finally try to enjoy this online dating thing, hahahaha!

I still have goals for my future, and I want nothing standing in my way. I know I am the one standing in my way right now, but this is the only way I think I can get out.

You can beat me up, but a little luck would be nice. Hopefully it goes smoothly, I get some answers even if I don't like them, and I can move on, and we can all be at the same place at one time.

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I think I left out, and I can't edit, we may be attending a mutual event this summer. I realize, even though those who know me, I would go into this event, hold my head up high, have a great time, but seeing them together with no answers, even bad ones, would cause me much pain. It's the truth. (and this event may be the one we met at). So, I need to do what I can to be cool with me, him and her. I hate having ill feelings towards people. I want to have compassionate feelings.

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