[Thornton]

Funny you mention that stuff, I've been experiencing those epiphanies as well.

I think DB gives us the tools to detach and to think with clarity. When we are buried in so much emotional pain, we lose sight of logic.

We simply want the pain to go away so bad, and we think our WAS is the only antidote.

Not only that, but we also put the WAS on that damn pedestal and start to worship them like they are God's gift to us.

I think you are detaching, Broke. It will come in stages, not all at once. Keep doing what you're doing, I think you are on to something.

[GWH]

Broke, it sounds like you are starting to detach.Like Thornton said keep doing what your doing.

[broke]

I think DB gives us the tools to detach and to think with clarity. When we are buried in so much emotional pain, we lose sight of logic.

I think this is exactly how I am feeling right now…..I am starting to think logically instead of just emotionally. My head says that this relationship has no chance. My heart says I am not ready to give up quite yet. So, while I am hopeful it is a start to truly detaching, I am not there.

Thanks for the support, Thornton and GWH. I am going to continue what I am doing and hope that I am headed in the right direction.

[Rednail]

Broke- Reading your long post really made me think. I kinda am at that point too where mentally, I know I need to be done, walk away, and over. I just am waiting for my emotions and heart to catch up with my brain. I think we both are doing good and doing our best and will eventually TRULY detach. I think you are an AMAZING mom, friend, and person. We can do this <3

[broke]

I just am waiting for my emotions and heart to catch up with my brain.

EXACTLY! Thanks for all the support, Red! xo

[TimR]

Great work broke! I am no where near as far as you. But I continue to work and eventually I will get to that point... hopefully. I am still in the why. why! WHY! phase which for some reason is becoming comfortable for me.

[HopeRB]

broke, you're so strong and certainly an inspiration to us all! I wrestle with those thoughts every so ofter myself. I hate thinking logically vs emotionally b/c to me, they are so intertwined. But, all we can do is keep detaching. I often find that just when I think I'm being strong, I go back into confused mode.

[AU Bob]

As time goes on it gets easier to accept it and to realise you will be ok and its not the end of the world.
Zues has probably the best handle on it that I have read here.
I actually am at a point now where I actually look at the positives this has allowed.

My GAL efforts are paying off and I wake up looking forward to the day and what I have planed, she is gone and is on her own journey, I am focused on mine!

I still have my family and they love me, I had a so so relationship with D17 before this happened, now it is very close, my other daughters involve me in as many things as I can get to, so I still am a big part of their lives and we have grown closer.

I believe in destiny and sometimes these things are meant to be, life is what WE make it, you have the opportunity to do with your life what YOU please, make the most of it.


Join a gym, take those classes in the things you are interested in, travel a bit, join a volunteer group, do things that enrich your life and make you a more interesting person. If you do this he will rue the day he let you go, the thought someone else will get the new captivating you will rock his boat!!!


Its like the old but true saying Broke "the world is your oyster"

[broke]

Thanks, everyone, I appreciate it. Don't get too excited with my "logical" progress, my heart sank when S12 told me about the NCAA pool at H's office that I usually was a part of. The whole family does it and it was always fun to watch the games and tease each other about who was winning and losing. I am glad the boys still get to do it with their dad, but I do hate that family activities can no longer be….so, the emotional part of me is still got to catch up to my head.

AU Bob - I love your enthusiasm and I definitely need to reevaluate my GAL goals. Now, that the boys are involved in after-school sports again, I can't really substitute teach. So, I need to get back into my golf class and start studying for my teaching tests. Don't want to go backwards that's for sure!

I have been detaching for 5.5 weeks. While I miss when H doesn't reach out to me, it is becoming slightly easier not to fabricate reasons to communicate with him. Like you said, AU Bob, maybe that is a small sign that I am headed the right direction: that I am going to be okay and it is not the end of the world….

[Rouky]

Thank you so much Hope, you have describe so well how I'm feeling at the moment. You are showing great strength and I wish I was like you.