Thanks guys - I'm vegetarian, so it will be a huge veggie lasagne actually Isit
Been working hard last few days, and I'm off now. I'm having lunch and then playing Bingo (I know!) with my fun and silly friend later - should be interesting...
Going to start doing a bit of shopping and sorting at the flat ready for the weekend. L came back to me & asked me to resend my email to her. Seems it was missed somehow? Dropped H a quick email apologising for the delay. It's strange that our D may be finalised in just a few weeks. I feel pretty numb about it really - and quite calm, not distressed. Maybe it hasn't fully sunk in yet - or could be that so much else awful has happened, I now just deal with things without the angst. It feels like we haven't had any sort of R for so long, the D is just a further step.
Still reading codependent no more - interesting read - and I have some of these traits for sure. Something to work on going forward.
Hope everyone is having a good week xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Great idea to have a Valentines Dinner and mainly with some friends that actually get what you are going through, that is a plus.
The D is something awkward, I had so much pain dealing with the fact that I signed a paper saying that my M was broken and couldn't be mended, but sometimes it becomes that, just a piece of paper.
It sure makes a difference in my perspective and I am still navigating the routes to find myself as a single person. Maybe it is because it did not change much for me since I still have the kids, but it is weird to be the owner of my own life.
I think that you have been very wise throughout this whole process and had forced yourself early on to get moving. Your definitely an example that GAL can diminished some pain along the way.
I would love to be at your dinner party, sounds pretty fun. I actually made a meat lasagna to my Divorce group friends last sunday. They loved it!. On Valentines sunday the group has a Potluck schedule and then the class. Should be fun too.
So Sotto, what happen to that gentleman at your work, still talking?
Hi Sotto , I'll have to skip the party , nothing what so ever to do with the Veggie aspect as I like a lettuce and lettuce , meat substitute and bran , wholemeal bun , washed down with real orange juice , the same as the next guy. ( as long as the next guy visits McDonald's every other week !!!!!!!!!!!!).
Just kidding of course , I hope you have a great evening and I have no doubt you will be the hostess with the mostest !!!!!
Hi RD, thanks for asking. Yes it went really well and the food turned out fine. There were seven of us and I had fixed a table top to my small table so we could all sit together and eat. Everyone seemed to appreciate having a nice VD plan. For some of them it was their first VD without their SO. They liked their card, and one GAL also had a VD card from her ex, so there was some speculation about that.
It was great for me, because my focus was on preparing for it this weekend, rather than on VD, so that passed without me really feeling too poignant about anything. We did have some really good laughs and my ribs ached by the end of the evening - some of them are pretty funny and there were some joke themes running and lots of teasing. People seem keen to do some regular social stuff which will be nice I think.
I'm working from home today and just taking a lunch break, eating leftovers. I'm pretty tired today, so it was good to be able to log on in my PJs (well not quite, but YKWIM ) How was your Valentines Day RD? Any news from your W at all??
Thanks for checking in and take care my friend xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sotto, I am so glad that everything turned out well yesterday. I'm sure your guests enjoyed the meal and spending time together. The group sounds like a nice bunch and I'm sure there will be many more activities in the days ahead that you will be involved in w/them.
Working from home today is a good idea. You don't realize just how much effort (and stress) goes into planning a dinner party. Take it easy today and know that you had a great time yesterday w/your new friends.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi Sotto, I can almost picture myself at your VD dinner, LOL. It sounded so nice. And the cards idea was great! You are very thoughtful, kind and generous person.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Hi Sotto - glad your party went well, maybe next year I'll do one!
Just dropping in to say I'm doing ok - just less posting and reading on the threads as I find it all a little depressing.
I'm moving out in 10 days or so, if my friends flat is fixed up in time. It will be cheaper than the market rate and no deposit required and it's only for a few months so I can get a more permanent bigger plCe. I need a place with a garage to house all my bikes and bike maintenance stuff and hopefully to keep the kids bikes, scooters etc.
I feel that I have completely dropped the rope and given up on the M and R. I am focussing on me: my new place, work, my kids and my fitness. It's enough. Plus I've been peaking at the online dating scene - and getting a far bit of attention from 40 something women which is nice.
W is taking kids away for the rest of half-term to see an old friend of hers down Bath way and I'm working away for two nights in Amersham. Then back to do a little packing and more cycling with the club. I'm very fit for the time of year, building towards a big sportive in May.
I'm worried that the kids still don't know and have told W that I won't to inform them a sap - it will probably be this Sunday.
Bye for now x
Me49 W45 T15 M13 S11 S8 BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12 Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12 W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing! May-Oct14 drifting Dec 14 W agrees to more QT BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY W filed 1/25/16
Hi Isit, good to hear from you and glad you decided to take the flat. At least it gives you some breathing space whilst you look for a longer term option. I know you can rent garages pretty cheaply through the local housing trust....just in case of any interest.
Feeling a little unsettled today. Had lunch out with My SS and HXW. We had a nice time and it's nice to keep in touch, but I do find it easier not to have that link with H and receive snippets of news. I keep the convos to general stuff mainly - but there's always a bit of something creeps in. So, it appears the original OW is still very much on the scene. SS doesn't really talk fondly of her - though he seems to think she is ok (he is 15 of course..) His Mum says she has no desire to meet this woman and generally doesn't talk positively of H.
She said there is always a spin at the end of R's and she imagines I was given a spin by H. I said something like - I guess we all have our own take on everything and didn't pursue further. Just all a little difficult and a convo avenue to better sidestep next time - oh well. It's evident they very much think our R is completely over and OW is now very much H's girlfriend. I guess it's helpful to know the status of things and I just need to keep moving forward. I think I generally do pretty well - but TBH as time goes on I see less and less of a way back for us and I'm moving towards complete closure.
Otherwise, all is well and I'm busy socially - yoga tonight, out on Fri and Sat nights with friends and helping a friend with a house move on Sunday. No more news from the L on possible settlement matters and D, but presume she has written to H's L with our proposal by now.
Take care all xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
) How was your Valentines Day RD? Any news from your W at all??