Having a wee bit of trouble staying calm today. Court is tomorrow. My L says that all we're going to do is hear what the prosecutor's first offer is, and we'll go from there.
For some reason, I thought they worked all these things out ahead of time. Ugh! Both my daughters are going to meet me there so I don't have to do it by myself again. That is some comfort.
I'm not counting on much sleep tonight.
H is being nasty about the settlement. We were trying to work it out without a mediator, but the way he's going, I don't see it happening. Independent of what ALL my doctors say, H has decided I'm not sick and can work full time.
I even have a letter from my doctor saying I'm restricted to part-time! He is being so nasty and insulting. I'm not responding in any way, shape, or form - other than being completely business-like through my L.
I'm beginning to hate him more and more. Maybe this is good for now? I see so little of my old H in this new version...it really makes it easy to walk away. I hate to think being married to me did this to him. He seems to think so. He admits I'm nice and kind, but some of the things he spews at me are just the opposite.
It's a pretty rough neighborhood on this side of the tracks. As far as his behavior towards you, most likely a bit of projection there, they seem to have to demonize us in order to justify their own actions and fuel their crazy train that's full steam ahead next stop happy-ville. I've been at that mediation table.... Twice... All the anxiety and stress that comes with it isn't fun, let alone the WTF feeling of "how did I end up here ??"
Advice... Imagine a blacktop parking lot, draw a big chalk white circle... Only allow yourself to be concerned with things that are within your control. Put those things in the circle... Do not give power nor energy to anything else outside your circle, keep your head high, do not budge from the things you need ( notice I did not say want) ... Hold firm and don't budge, you didn't ask for this nor does it define you.
Good luck tomorrow. Stay cool and calm. If you have something that could pass as business attire, wear it. You want to look good and you want the judge to see you as a woman who is responsible for her own actions. Whatever your h or his lawyer says, don't react...stay calm and allow your lawyer to do his/her job. Again, only answer the questions as of you and do not go into lengthy details. Keep them short and sweet.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks for the great advice. Tomorrow's court date actually has little to do with H - he won't be there. This one is regarding the night I went bonkers and crashed into a parked car. I got charged with felony criminal mischief. Apparently, while I was out of my mind, I told the police I did it on purpose. I don't remember any of it, but I have to take their word for it.
It just doesn't make any sense, because the car I hit was right there, I knew it wasn't H's, but after he told me about his past cheating, I just freaked out. All damages have been paid. My L says that's going to help a lot. I had to go through interviews with the insurance company already regarding this. After I told them what happened, they realized I had no intention of hitting the parked vehicle...but I shouldn't have been driving, that's for sure.
I really think H intended me to kill myself on the way home. I have major depressive disorder...he knew something would happen after telling me there'd been "2 or 3 others". Jerk. He and his friend had me arrested to play divorce games. My L doesn't want to use the extortion recording if he doesn't have to.
We'll just see what happens. I had no idea it could take so long to clear something up in the legal system. Sheesh!
My L is calling me tonight to make sure I'm okay and we have all we need. He calls me "Sweet Judy"...lol He's young enough to be my son. He has great compassion. When I first called him he told me he felt like God really wanted him to help me. They even cut their fees for me, because this D has left me with no money at all. I think I'm in good hands...just hard not to be terrified.
Oh! One time H was trying to shame me. He kept telling me I'd committed a more serious drime than he. He was just a "cheater". I was a felon. Seriously? Morally, he's in the toilet - but I guess if it makes him feel better to think that, more power to him!
Live, Not to hijack someone's thread, but Cadet will post the welcome thread to your thread. It may not be tonight, but he'll post it to you when he returns to the forum. Please be patient.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
Hello, all! It's been a really good day. One of my daughters joined me for my court appearance this morning. My L went to talk to the DA and learned they are already willing to drop the charges (from my breakdown) from a felony to a misdemeanor. So they rescheduled the case to allow for negotiation until February 10th. I didn't even have to stand up or anything.
At that time, I should have my final sentence. They're working to get me into a program that will allow me to work off the misdemeanor and have all charges totally expunged in 6 months. This is fantastic news!!! I am keeping it to myself, though - so H doesn't try and stir up more trouble.
My poor children. I didn't realize how frightened they all were, until I saw my daughter's face when she heard the news. She was texting all her siblings as we were leaving the courthouse. One more black mark against H - his little game hurt my kids more than they were already hurt.
I'm so thankful and relieved today. I may sleep well for the first time in months! My sweet L called me last night to walk me through it all. I felt perfectly okay - no nerves at all. It was quick, too. I was in and out in an hour.
My D and I went and had a lovely breakfast together. It's been a great day. I think things are starting to begin moving in a positive direction. I'm ready to let go and move on, the arrest issue is being addressed, H is finally starting to understand he can't get rid of me for peanuts, and my attitude is hopeful, thankful, and happy.
Thanks so much for the prayers and good wishes. I relied on them a lot today.
