You learned self sufficiency and independence at an early age. You also gained self confidence through these experiences. These are very valuable traits. Not as many people have them as you think. I enjoy reading about your journey to the here and now.
Man, you've lived one hell of a life. To be where you are, to even be able to write as well as you do, is amazing. You have gone through more than most people do in three lifetimes.
Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs EA: Started 3/2015 MC Started: 4/2015 She moved out and served 6/2015 PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015 2 young kids
"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
As I wrote about on my other thread, I moved to W college town after we had been dating for 6 months. It was three hours away from where we went to high school and a total culture shock for me. A very liberal town with a lot of different types of people that I had never been around. I didn't have any idea where to start looking for a job but she was working after class and had a small apartment already so I had a little bit of time. I am a skilled metal fabricator and know how to cut, weld and fit most anything made of metal and a pretty darn good mechanic too so I figured it would be easy to find something.
One of the first places I tried was an equipment rental company. They were hiring for a mechanic so I stopped in to apply. They had a very complex hiring process, at least I thought so for a mechanic anyway. They actually gave me a Wunderlich test and some other spatial evaluation exams. I scored higher than anyone who had ever been there but they were reluctant to hire me because I was only 20 years old. Said I didn't have enough experience. The next day I found a sheet metal company that worked on commercial kitchen equipment . They needed a guy to drive around town to different restaurants and kitchens to fix things onsite. I took the job even though I had never done this kind of work before but I was young and full of confidence.
Well let me tell you, I took to this like a fish to water. I loved driving around meeting the customers and getting to know my way around town. It was a small company with maybe 8 or 9 employees and it wasn't long before the customers were requesting that I come out to fix their problems. We also built vent hoods and commercial sinks and would install them onsite. I could fix anything. And I got to know all the best places to eat. I worked until 4:00 and would go fishing nearly everyday after work. My W would meet me at the boat ramp and we would stay out until dark. She would bring us Subway samwiches and a six pack of beer. It is one of my fondest memories with her. We didn't have much money but saved enough to buy a small aluminum boat with an electric trolling motor. We loved it.
One of the biggest jobs that we had while I was there was at the airport. They were remodeling the entire Tarmac with new bars and restaurants. I spent nearly five months there everyday building vent hoods in restaurants, decorative metal artwork and bar tops. We built an indoor waterfall out of copper, it was really cool. I built a stage front that spanned 40feet out of stainless steel that had Live Music Capitol of the World laser engraved on it. Unfortunately, since 9-11 the only way anyone ever sees any of this is if you are flying in or out of there since it is all behind the security gates. Anyhow, W had graduated and was ready to move back to our hometown and start her career so we left there and came back to start our lives together.
Until next time!
M: 39 W:38 D: 11 S: 7 T: 18 M:13 I suspect problem: 8/15 ILYB: 9/15 Never quit on love I ask her to leave:10/15
Yesterday me and my brother went tailgating at the Texans game! They won the game and the division title. We had a blast ate all kinds of badass bbq and had all kinds of beers. Too much fun! Since we were born in Cincinnati and moved to Houston at a young age we are dual fans of the Bengals and the Texans, which causes some healthy rivalries between us and our buddies. All in good fun though (Who Dey!)
Went to IC this morning for the first time since the holidays, I gave her the run down of my interactions with W and family and how she clammed up on Christmas Day after spending several days at the house and being intimate with me a few times. IC seems as confused as I am about it. She is thinking W is trying to re live a part of her life that she feels she missed out on. And that it is probably related to something that happened to her during childhood. Then IC started asking me what I have been doing for myself.
This was when I realized that I have been keeping pretty busy and staying pretty positive about everything that has been going on. Not always but for the most part. She commented that I seem like a fairly self-actuallized person and that I should feel lucky to have the outlook that I have. That she has been doing this for over twenty years and sees a lot of people in this situation that just can't handle what is happening to them. I have to say that these boards and yalls advice have really helped me. I am seeing more and more the path that gets us through this crap. And it makes more sense everyday. Thanks to everyone here that are helping each other through these tough times.
M: 39 W:38 D: 11 S: 7 T: 18 M:13 I suspect problem: 8/15 ILYB: 9/15 Never quit on love I ask her to leave:10/15
I've been looking through the MLC threads this morning, looking for inspiration and guidance. I found this little gem, and I'm going around sharing it with everyone I think it may be helpful to. Sometimes everything just gets to be too much, and I forget where I'm supposed to be focusing. It really helped me redefine where I want to go, and how I'm going to get there. I hope it helps you a bit, too.
Originally Posted By: ericmsant2
Consider the DB basic principals....
1) Healthy boundaries. 2) Better communication 3) GAL 4) "act as if" 5) Change how you look at things 6) Keep a positive outlook 7) Personal growth 8) Learning more about you so that you can be all that you can be. 9) Learning to avoid "cheese less tunnels" 10) Love and respect
These principals can be used in all facets of ones life. When used properly....they truly can change you from the INSIDE OUT.
When W and I moved back we rented a cruddy little apartment in a not so nice neighborhood. We didn't care, we were happy together. She had a new job and I went back to work at the fab shop I left when I went to move in with her. Everything was going fine, we were in no hurry to get married and just had a good time together. We moved to a better apartment after our six month lease was up and she got a new and better job offer. She accepted it and we were saving money as I too was moving up in my trade. I became foreman over ten guys most of whom were older than me and weren't very happy to be taking orders from a young guy. I never let it bother me.
We saved up for a year and bought our first home. We loved it and worked on the yard every weekend and painted different rooms however she wanted. It was a great time for us. We lived there for a couple of more years before we decided to get married. It was around this time that I got a new job for more money and better benefits but had to work night shift. I was the youngest foreman at a much larger company so they stuck me at night with the degenerates. Then we waited for two more years until we had D. She was the light of our lives. So happy and healthy. There was one problem we had with the house the whole time we were there was it had scorpions. My W is deathly afraid of stinging bugs anyway and these little buggers terrified her to death. She never got stung by one until after D was born and I was at work at night. She called me in a panic screaming that she had been stung and didn't know what to do. She thought it was a lot worse than it was but I knew she was scared and came right home to be with her. After that she was so afraid that the baby would get stung that we decided to sell the house and build a new one.
The house sold quickly and we moved in with her folks. I spent the next year after my regular job building our new home. It was a long year but so worth it. While we were living at the ILs house she got pregnant with S and was 8 months along when we finished the house. W has the most incredible sense of timing. As soon as we get moved in she is having our boy. He was a biggen, nearly ten pounds. W is a very small women but insisted on a natural birth. She made it through the birth with flying colors. Breast fed both babies for 9 months and was a wonderful mother for both of them. I had gone back to working days by this time and everything seemed to be the American Dream in the making. From the upbringing I experienced, this was everything I could have ever wanted.
We were in the house for about 8 months, it was the beginning of September. S was still an infant when a Hurricane hit our area. We had moved our bed to the most interior room of the house and we all cuddled up under it for the worst of the storm. No damage to the house but we lost a few trees and had no power. I sent W and kids to her sisters house 250 miles north and I stayed at the house. Everything was shut down for two weeks, no work no grocery stores no cell phones, I was in heaven. My other male friends that stayed were having a heck of a time too. We were bbqing every day because all of our freezers were full of deer meat and fish that was going to spoil if we didn't cook it right away. We ate like kings for the whole time. We drove around to different neighborhoods helping people clear trees from their yards and pulling people's vehicles out of ditches. Then the lights came back on and back to reality.
Still more yet to come.
M: 39 W:38 D: 11 S: 7 T: 18 M:13 I suspect problem: 8/15 ILYB: 9/15 Never quit on love I ask her to leave:10/15
