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#2635833 12/28/15 10:23 PM
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2ltl2lt Offline OP
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Not sure how to link old thread. Could one of you tech savvy folks kindly help me out with this?


http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2626909#Post2626909

Last edited by Cadet; 12/28/15 10:25 PM. Reason: Link

M: 39 W:38 D: 11 S: 7
T: 18
M:13
I suspect problem: 8/15
ILYB: 9/15
Never quit on love
I ask her to leave:10/15
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 206
Likes: 2
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2ltl2lt Offline OP
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Thank you for adding the link.

Wow, I have been writing down a timeline for the last month at the request of my IC and have been astounded by the memories that have come flooding back in. I grew up in a broken family where my parents were D when I was around 4 years old. My brother is 18 months younger than me. We bounced around between mom and grandma for a couple of years and dad was out of the picture at the time. I still don't know the whole story behind the D and probably never will. We moved around quite a few times and mom got remarried when I was 6. She had another boy by her new husband and we moved from The Midwest to SE Texas when he was just a baby. We were only in our new environment for a couple of months when moms new husband began physical abuse. He would get drunk and hit her and yell at us. This continues for a few months until my uncle got involved and beat the tar out of this a$$hole. Uncle dragged his sorry a$$ all the way to the bus station and we never heard from him again.

Needless to say mom was stuck in a new town with no money and three little boys to care for. We went from apartment to apartment and school to school for the next 2-3 years. It was hard on her and tough for us too. At some point she called my dad and asked him to take me, my brother and half brother. He agreed and drove 1200 miles to pick us up. When he arrived I didn't even recognize him as we hadn't seen him since I was 4 and brother was a toddler. He had never even seen half brother. He took us back to our hometown.

We lived in another apartment there for several months where dad was the complex maintenance man and the apartment was rent free. One day we were At the gas station across the street and half brothers dad was there waiting. Dad goes in the store and left us in the car. Before he was able to get back the dad of half brother grabbed him out of the car and sped off. We didn't see him again until he was 10 years old. My mom hasn't seen him since he was in diapers. It has really eaten at her for the last thirty years.

After the kidnapping we moved around from apartment to apartment and school to school again for a year or so. Dad and his SO were pot users and dad drank heavily. He was never abusive or angry but couldn't hold a job for longer than a few months. At one point we were living in a tent at a state park campground and not going to school at all. This went on for several months, several cold months. No school no home eating lunch meat and crackers. Then dad gets a job offer on the eastcoast so we up and move to Delaware. Inner city school and we lived in an apartment with no furniture. Slept on the floor the entire time we lived there. About a year in he gets a DUI and decided to skip town. We moved to South Central LA. From Delaware!!

I will cut it off here for now and see if y'all want to hear more. If this is not appropriate let me know and I will go back to whining about my W. But I got to tell you, this is where the story starts getting good.


M: 39 W:38 D: 11 S: 7
T: 18
M:13
I suspect problem: 8/15
ILYB: 9/15
Never quit on love
I ask her to leave:10/15
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 630
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Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 630
Keep on talking. It's a good read.


Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs
EA: Started 3/2015
MC Started: 4/2015
She moved out and served 6/2015
PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015
2 young kids

"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 597
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I'm riveted. Keep talking. This is real life, right?


M46, EXWW46
M15 T17
D20, S19, D13
M - Addiction since 1998
W EA/PA #1 2013/2014
W EA #2 June 2015...
BD 1 Big D talk 9/15
BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15
Served D 1/22/16
Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
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2ltl2lt Offline OP
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Continuing:

When we got to LA we lived in a fleabag crack motel that was one block from the school we went to. Mind you, we were two kids of a Caucasian persuasion in the midst of a predominantly African American community. I was 8 and my brother was 7. This was also in the late 80's during the major gang wars and into the Rodney King riots. We were fish out of water, had never heard of a Crip or a Blood. Being that we were from The Queen City, we had Reds ballcaps and t-shirts well little did we know that the colors worn in the neighborhood had major significance. You see we were in Crip territory and we're regularly wearing the opposing gang colors. For several months the little brothers of the gang members would harass us and beat us up on our daily walk to school. We didn't understand why this was happening and got to where we figured out where when and how fast to run. Every night was constant gunfire and sirens.

Our "parents" were always gone until late and left us to take care of ourselves and clean the awful room we stayed in. I ended up being friends with a Vietnamese boy that had a stable family and I was regularly invited over for dinner. At the motel we were in we always saw prostitutes and drug dealers in the halls and always had the landlord asking me when my dad was going to pay up. It was about 6 months in that place before we were evicted and moved to an apartment in the desert that was near Edwards Airforce Base. This was a much nicer environment for us as the gangs hadn't made it out there yet. We actually got to see the Space shuttle land and the unveiling of the Stealth Bomber. There always SR-22 Blackbirds flying around and caused many sonic booms during the days. It was pretty cool while we were there. But we were only there for a few months and moved back to the same crappy sh!thole fleabag crack motel.

I was 10 years old and had enough. I couldn't take it anymore! Somehow I figured out how to make a long distance call from a pay phone and called the only number I had committed to memory, my grandma. I told her the situation and asked if there was anyway she could get me and my brother out of there. She said she would find a way to get the money and get us a plane ticket back to Cincinnati. Two weeks later we were on a plane. She basically saved our lives. We had no contact with ourmother the whole time we were with our dad which was over two years.

We moved in with gramma and grampa on a big soybean farm in the middle of Ohio. This was a huge change for us after spending the past three or four years fighting to survive. We went from inner city gang wars to Hootersville literally overnight. It took some time to adjust to the nice friendly people without worrying about them jumping you at recess.

Let me know if y'all want to hear the exciting next chapter.


M: 39 W:38 D: 11 S: 7
T: 18
M:13
I suspect problem: 8/15
ILYB: 9/15
Never quit on love
I ask her to leave:10/15
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 630
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Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 630
Keep going. This is like a movie.


Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs
EA: Started 3/2015
MC Started: 4/2015
She moved out and served 6/2015
PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015
2 young kids

"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 206
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2ltl2lt Offline OP
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Back to the W for a moment. We are going to take the kids to a carnival tonight and she will most likely stay at the house. I was thinking about getting snookered and building a bonfire tonight to ring in the new year. Guess I shouldn't let her ruin my good time.


M: 39 W:38 D: 11 S: 7
T: 18
M:13
I suspect problem: 8/15
ILYB: 9/15
Never quit on love
I ask her to leave:10/15
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,693
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Posts: 1,693
Happy New Year 2ltl2lt, will chat soon



“Character is destiny” Heraclitus
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2ltl2lt Offline OP
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The next chapter:

We lived with our grandparents for the next nine months. We went to a school that had 1/10 of the enrollment of the last three schools we had attended. It was quite an adjustment. I was always on edge to fight because of the experiences we had in LA. It had become the norm for me. I was taking on the roll of raising my brother and always protecting him. He was dislexic and kind of awkward in school so I felt like everyone was targeting him all the time. I got myself into a lot of unnecessary trouble trying to look out for him . We stayed there for the rest of the school year. In the meantime our granny had arranged for us to move back to Houston to be with our mother.

We moved to Houston the year I was starting 6th grade. I still had a big chip on my shoulder when I got to my new school. The first day I was there the counselor and my mom were talking about how I would fit in with the crowd. I was an early bloomer physically and was about the biggest kid in my grade. She knew that I had been in a bad situation for awhile and was talking about how I could choose to take the path of success or end up in prison. I will never forget that day.

My first year in school there was alright and i excelled at every athletic activity I participated in. I broke several school records for weight lifting, long jumping, sprinting and vertical jump. This got a lot of attention from the other boys (and girls) some of which made me a target. I only got into one fight that year with a guy who bashed my lips into the water fountain nozzle. I beat the crap out of him because I knew how to.

My 7th grade year was a whole other story. My brother had started 6th grade so he was at the same school with me again. I was the up and coming football and track and field star and he was continually getting picked on by the kids who were trying to get on my nerves. One day it turned physical and I retaliated in the hallway between classes. The bully was in 8th grade and bigger than I was. I tore after him like a tornado. I was on top of the poor bastard just pummeling his face when I saw a teacher lady stick her foot in front of my on coming fist. It was my brother's math teacher. I couldn't stop the punch and it connected directly with her foot. It shattered her ankle! I was expelled from school and she kicked my brother out of her class. This was totally an accident and I still feel bad to this day. Needless to say I had a hard time for the rest of the year. Luckily it happened after football season was over.

The next summer we started two-a-days for football practice. I was late the first day. My mom had a new boyfriend and I had been working construction with him that summer and forgot when practice started. I was playing defensive end and fullback. The coaches loved my work ethic and natural strength. They kept me busy and out of trouble for the most part. We won district in the 4x100 relays and I had the highest number of tackles for the year. During this time my mom was drinking more and more and we were basically living on our own. I had always taken care of my brother and continued to for the next few years.

9th and 10th grade were full of athletic and academic achievement for me. I scored a 1350 on my SAT as a sophomore. My brother was coming into his own and I had many friends and girlfriends to keep me busy. We lived in a run down trailer park full of crazy characters. I had become quite the mechanic and started fixing people's lawnmowers and weed eaters. I had a dirt bike a three wheeler and an old truck I was working on. Life was pretty good at the time for an old Huckleberry Finn type like me. By the end of my sophomore year I had the old truck going and was driving me and my brother to school everyday. I didn't even have a license yet but it was only a few miles away so never had any trouble. Our "parents " didn't care what we did as long as it didn't interfere with their partying.

One day when my truck was broke down we were waiting for the bus and this black car pulled up to me and the man inside was wearing a suit. I thought he looked out of place. He got out of the car and saw my dog running up to him, he then called my dog by name and asked me if I knew what was going on at our neighbors house. I thought it was strange that this man who I had never seen knew my dogs name. I said I had seen a lot of cars coming and going from the neighbors house and thAt I hung out with their kids sometimes. He told me he was with the US Marshals office and suspected that they were manufacturing meth at the house. I didn't know what to say. Their kids were my friends and my mom hung out over there all the time. The next day they raided the house and took the dad to jail, never seen him again. The mom and kids moved away.

Until next time. Keep it tuned to this channel. There is more to come.


M: 39 W:38 D: 11 S: 7
T: 18
M:13
I suspect problem: 8/15
ILYB: 9/15
Never quit on love
I ask her to leave:10/15
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 206
Likes: 2
2
2ltl2lt Offline OP
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Posts: 206
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Trying to be patient. I have found that I am a fixer and want to make things easier for everyone else no matter how hard it is for me. Being in limbo land is tougher than I could have ever imagined. Each week feels like a month and each month feels like a year. My gut reaction is to be alone and do things around the house to pass the time. I have a problem with meeting new people on a casual basis because I tend to to be so black and white with everyone. I either immediately put them in the good friend I will go to the ends of the earth for category or the I wouldn't care if I never see or hear from them again category. I'm not sure when I became this way or what caused it. I have hired and fired many people in my career and am able to treat people at work all as equals, just can't seem to get there on a personal level.


M: 39 W:38 D: 11 S: 7
T: 18
M:13
I suspect problem: 8/15
ILYB: 9/15
Never quit on love
I ask her to leave:10/15
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