Recent Hurricane 2

[NateG79]

Thank God I have a coaching tomorrow. This is the pits

[WhyUs]

Hey Nate,

Sorry to hear about the recent events and that your wife may be on to another man. My suggestion is that you disassociate yourself from anything having to do with her affairs. If you want your wife back the affair has to stop. However, this can be a catch 22. You attempting to stop affairs can lead to pressure. This will drive her away.

I know it hurts. Your wife being with another man is a huge betrayal. In time though you will realize this has happened and if you and your wife are going to be together you are going to have to accept what happened. There will come a time to discuss your hurt feelings. Right now is not that time. WW does not want to hear that right now. Discuss your feelings with a friend or IC. Not your wife. She needs to see you happy, looking good, smelling good, and enjoying life...a life that she does not want to give up.

This does not mean let her run all over you. You still need boundaries. Don't come across as the affair is okay. You have already sent the message it is not so I think you are okay there.

Your doing good. Just remember any interaction you have with WW needs to show you in the best light possible.

[NateG79]

I feel at this point the divorce is going to be inevitable. If she's back with the same man, or moved onto another one, she's self destructive. I don't need that in my life. I don't need her. I have lots of friends, in a good looking dude, I'm a good dad. Her affairs being with it the problem of her exposing my daughter to people who should not be in heregards life. And hat losWell, I didn't call. It was a text. And, I just don't believe the affair is over. I'm sorry, but texts just don't send themselves. I worked in wireless sales for 5 years. I know how cell phones work. You HAVE to hit the send button, so it can't be done accidentally via voice recognition. Nothing has felt any different since exposing, she had a couple of days where she was frazzled, and then back to normal. I also know that she had begun taking to a person from her past tat is currently going through a divorce. Honestly, I think it's time I just dropped this rope, and go NC. The fact that she got defensive when I said I was just asking tells me volumes. I just don't believe she can be alone. And that pisses me off. She's not even thinking about our daughter.

[WhyUs]

I agree that you have ample reason to believe that the text was not as innocent as she suggests. At this point there is no need to harp on it. You know the truth, no need in trying to get her to own up to it. Keep the logic of it all to yourself. Sharing it with her will only make things worse.

It does seem that NC is the way to go. This will be challenging with a kid in play. Just do your best to keep it about the children when you do communicate with her. It is good that you can see the qualities that you have. Sometimes people get down on themselves and that can get to an unhealthy point.

Just remember that while you are in NC it is a time that you can work on yourself to make yourself an even better person. Don't waste that opportunity.

[NateG79]

Yes absolutely. I think that there isn't contact with the OM. I think she's just moved to a different one now. It's why I think she's self destructive. Her self esteem is so bad, she can only get it from someone else. And she's searching desperately to find it because of the situation she's in. And I'm just tired of it. I'm not going to talk about the text anymore, because I've just ceased to cate at this point. She's a wreck, and I dislike her now.

[NateG79]

So after tomorrow's coaching, I think I'll be getting in contact with a L again. Time to find someone to fight on my side. Good thing is, through my legal benefits from my work, my lawyer is paid for. So will be setting an appointment with him tomorrow I think.