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Underdog #2656970 02/25/16 09:08 AM
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p.s. Rick Warren is a Christian writer. You can leave out the religious references or exercises if you're more comfortable. Or you can substitute the word "universe" or "being" if you are more in tune with your spirituality. Suit to fit your belief system.


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein
Underdog #2656977 02/25/16 09:28 AM
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KGirl,

I am sorry to hear about your R. Every R is a learning experience where you learn about yourself and relationships. My guy is actually a great, loving guy. I feel lucky to have met him and have loved him, and have him in my life. That is probably why I am so sad. Our timing I think was just off, and circumstances just may not work, even with the best people in the world. I have learned through this process that my needs matter and he is still a good guy even if he is at a place where they couldn't be met. I did not want to become resentful, neither of us deserved that. Who knows? Maybe our worlds will collide again, maybe they won't. Sometimes, circumstance just stinks.

Keep on keeping on, and don't give up!

Ginger1 #2658073 02/29/16 07:02 AM
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Hello everyone! It has been a while since I've posted and been on the boards. Haven't caught up with all of the threads, but I'm getting there.

Ginger - very sorry about the bf situation, but better to come to this realization and decision now than much later on and bravo to you for standing up to what you deserve!

Bets - Hope the shingles are getting better. As I mentioned before, I'm not a fan of them at all having had them myself.

As for me, life has been fairly smooth until this weekend. My ex-wife was married on Sunday. This was to the guy she met through e-Harmony back in late August. I received a scathing "FU" text message from her at 12:36am on Sunday morning (drunk text perhaps), lambasting me because her two sisters and their husband, who were in town for her wedding, came over to my house to see me and my fiancÚ on Saturday and had lunch with us. She has had issues in the past with me staying in touch with them, telling me that I have my own family and this recent episode sent her over the edge. Never mind that it was her sisters who asked me if they could come over and visit. I had not seen one of the sisters in almost 3 years, so I was glad they wanted to come over. We spent about 3 hours visiting. They (the sisters) have told me straight away that they didn't divorce me it was their sister and they will always consider me a part of their family. One of them said that they wished at times that they had gotten custody of me in the divorce instead of their sister. What I find hypocritical about the ex's criticism about all of this is she stays in constant contact with my two oldest kids (from my first marriage) and considers herself a grandmother-to-be to my soon to arrive first grandchild.

Anyway, she has pledged that she is done ever communicating with me again - which I'm not sure how that is going to bother me, since that should mean I no longer have to read obscene middle of the night text messages! :-)

In other news, my lovely fiancÚ and I a few weeks ago set a July 10th, 2016 date for our wedding and this weekend promptly decided to postpone it. Not for relationship issues, primarily out of fiscal and timing issues. My fiancÚ is a consultant and the contract she is on expires in March and it looks like the company is not going to pick up the renewal, so she could be out of a job which is stressing her out money wise. Additionally, we were feeling constrained by the amount of planning we need to do and the timing required to get it done. So we said it's not worth it to be stressed out over something that we both are very much excited about and want to do right. We've decided that next year, 2017, is a much more reasonable target both fiscally and planning wise. Once we made that decision we both felt a sense of relief. We both already feel married and know that our relationship is solid. The ceremony is for legal issues and the focus is and always has been on having a great party to celebrate us - we want to do that the right way, without feeling rushed into it and without worry of expense.


That's it for now. Have a great week all!

BA

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BA,

I'm sorry I've been AWOL - this moving stuff has occupied 100% of my time, energy and money.

Your XW sure sounds like a doozy. All I can do here is shake my head. What a total mess. Your kids are so fortunate that they have you as their rock, and my guess is that each of them realize you are, by far, the stable parent. That being said, I had to laugh at the part where she's done communicating with you. LOL. Just say thanks?!?!

Good for you and Carol navigating the actual wedding date. You both sound so happy and grounded. Isn't that the most important thing?

I'm in the countdown to closing - 15 days. D22 is flying home tomorrow for spring break, and she's going to help me finish moving the last 5-6 loads out of the basement and garage. My contractor is going to finish the last couple items on the inspection punch list on Tuesday. There's one last hurdle to clear on the 17th - when the buyers can object to any loan changes - which I seriously doubt will happen. Still, I'm not letting my guard down. It could all go south in a minute, but I'm cautiously optimistic.

I think I told you (not sure???) that the girls and I are flying home on May 25th to go to my uncle's funeral and burial at Arlington on the 26th? Hopefully, we can get together? I realize it's a holiday weekend and you might have other plans. And besides, you know that I come home a few times a year anyway...

That's all I have for now-
Betsey


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein
Underdog #2662364 03/14/16 06:11 AM
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Hi Bets,

Just got back from Wisconsin visiting my oldest daughter who is 6 weeks away from making me a first time Grandpa! Had a great time and it was nice to have a couple of days off work!

I hope the house sale goes smoothly without a hitch! I've got no plans for Memorial day yet, so would love to get together, scotch it up and introduce you to Carol!

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BA,

I've been following on the alt, and everyone looks so happy! Congrats about your new adventure into being a grandparent. I'm told it's the bees knees. laugh

Quick update.

We're in the middle of a spring blizzard. Schools are closed and I'd be home if I hadn't have been sick yesterday (when it was 73). Conditions are awful, but I'm caught up for the moment and my Keurig is getting some use today. We're supposed to get 10-14". And tomorrow we'll be back in the 50s. Go figure.

Tomorrow I close on my house. It has not been a smooth ride, and the buyer's realtor has turned out to be a total biatch. She's not only a biatch, but she's got a malfunctioning chip where it pertains to being reasonable and compassionate. She is neither. My realtor, who I think you probably figured out on the alt, is my friend who is a cop in his primary job. Fortunately, we both feel the same way about her; even more fortunately, we don't feel the same way at the same time. At any given moment, either one of us says, "let's just walk and tell her to f*ck off".

Last Friday, a friend suddenly passed away. He was the father of D22's twin friends. His wife is a good friend of mine. The funeral is going to be sometime this week, and I told my realtor that. When the buyer's realtor demanded more work to be done by me, he told her we were out of time and that I had lost a friend. Her answer? "We all have sh!t happen. So what?" He put it into perspective by saying that he has had many more reasonable conversations with people who are headed to jail. Nice.

On a sweeter note, D22 had a good spring break with us. Her dad and I had a few laughs at her expense, though. Her friends at Mines were also on break, and she went out with them and came home with an awful case of the bottle flu. LOL, it doesn't seem like that long ago we were her age. At any rate, before we left for the airport on Saturday she told me, "I love the townhouse. I really didn't think it would ever feel like home, but for some weird reason, it does." I told her, "that's because it's our stuff there, and home is where the heart is. Since D19 and I are there, it's home for you too." smile

And for Harry Potter aficionados... I have a powder room on the main floor near the kitchen. It's handy! Her BFF came over and she was giving her the tour. She got to the WC and said, "and this is our Harry Potter bathroom." I just looked up and realized that the WC is under the stairs. I had to laugh at that. From now on, we'll call it Harry's room.

Pray that Ron and I can make it 24 more hours. We both need to start our respective weekends with this monkey off our back.

Happy Easter!

Betsey


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein
Underdog #2664533 03/23/16 09:13 AM
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Originally Posted By: Underdog
I really didn't think it would ever feel like home, but for some weird reason, it does." I told her, "that's because it's our stuff there, and home is where the heart is. Since D19 and I are there, it's home for you too." smile

Until she makes her OWN home which I am guessing will not be too long from now since graduation is just around the corner.


Me-68, D36,S35
Underdog #2664540 03/23/16 10:08 AM
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Hey Bets!

I saw on the news the Spring snowstorm you are having. My oldest daughter who lives in Wisconsin is getting slammed later today and tonight with up to 18 inches of the white stuff!

We're suffering here in Virginia with some mid-week 70 degree temperatures (sorry!).

The warm weather is bringing out the cherry blossoms early this year and the peak is expected this weekend. I'm flying my mom up from Florida next week for a few days so that she can get a chance to see them and enjoy some time visiting with my girls (and me and Carol of course!.)

Wow, your buyer's agent sounds like a real tool!!! I mean who really needs to be that much of an a**hole in life! Well hopefully the whole situation is soon quickly in your rearview mirror of life.

Death has not escaped both of us this past week I'm afraid. I had a work colleague pass away on Monday. She was a young mother of two little boys. She had some PTSD issues from her service in the Marine Corps, and I will leave it at that. So very, very sad. Her husband is still in the service and was deployed. He is on his way back home.

Let us know how the closing goes! Give the buyer's agent a good swift kick in the a** on your way out after the documents have been signed! ;-)

BA

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BA,

The snow has stopped and I got 18 inches!!!! Holy cow. Can I just say how very happy I am to be living in a townhouse with a garage and no more shoveling? Technically, I still own the other house, and I have 24 hours from the end of the storm to shovel... My 3 car driveway and sidewalks. And closing is at 11:30 tomorrow. smile It was 73 here yesterday!

Yes, their agent is a tool! I just hope my neighbors get nice new neighbors. The new owner is an oil company executive. We're just hoping he's still employed tomorrow. Fortunately, they're requested to sign at a different office of the same title company at the same time. Ron was adamant that we not close together, and I think that was wise. She's made this entire process way more stressful than necessary.

I'm so sorry to hear about your colleague. That's so sad. I'm really sad for her children.. To have to grow up without their mom. My friend was one of the nicest men I've ever met. He and his wife have the most extraordinary love story. It started with an ad in the newspaper a long time ago. Very sweet.

I'll let you when I'm no longer a homeowner. Living mortgage free is going to make my life so much easier. Now I can kickstart my retirement savings. Happy days ahead!

Enjoy the cherry blossoms. I always loved spring and fall at home best. My mom has the most beautiful magenta azalea in her front yard. Whenever it was my turn to bring flowers in May to crown the Virgin Mary, I always begged mom to let me take a bunch of them to school. Just thinking about that plant makes me happy. smile


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein
Cadet #2664634 03/23/16 08:31 PM
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Cadet,

True that! But it's kind of funny. I still call Falls Church home. No matter what, when I tell people I'm going home, they look at me funny. 'Cause Denver is home too. My heart just knows it lives in 2 places. My folks live in the same house I grew up in... We moved there when I was 4. When the day comes that I have to sell it, it's going to feel awfully weird. Then I'll have to consider the cemetery home? confused After all, I'm heading back to FC to be buried when that day comes, LOL. Hopefully not soon. I'm still getting settled in here. grin


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein
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