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Ghost, I have to agree with all of the above people. My W would have a conversation (we would only talk/text/see every few months) and I would try to make it as positive as possible. It meant nothing.
Even after having a request from the W to have lunch, after 6 months of no contact, it was just for her to get info. What are you up to? How is work?
More than likely she knew I was in a relationship then, the divorce paperwork was nearly finished and I was no longer contacting her. She didn't want to renew our relationship, she simply wanted to know why I was so god damn happy and not chasing her.


ME:51 W:46
M:25
S:22, S:20
Divorced 16/9/15
BD 10/12
W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12.
Dark since 6/13
I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
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ATPeace Offline OP
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Time to think of others before myself

Time to think of my children

Time to let go and drop that [censored] rope

Thank you all

You are really helping me to come to terms with this

Small steps

Thank you

Ghost


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
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Ok so a much calmer day

I have been spinning for a few weeks it seems after each time I am spinning I get a little loser to gaining the strength to drop the rope and let go of what is happening.

It is my fear of what will happen that is hurting the most not the actual

So I fear my W not being there but for 5 nights a week she is out working nights and she has already left me so my fear of being in my own house may be worse than actually being alone in my own house

Today I had the thought that the day before the bomb my W would txt me saying love you and she would msg me during the day asking how my day was ...since bomb day she wil not ask how my day is going like a switch has been clicked

I suppose I should not ask for anything it is just so sad how a marriage of 17 years can go this way


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,435
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I agree Ghost, it is very sad. It is heartbreaking.

Ghost, your W is planning to leave after the holidays, right? My H is leaving in Jan. So here is a conversation I can see us having in, maybe not January, but lets say February.

Ghost "I cannot believe how much I feared being alone, this is awesome! I don't have to watch W get all dressed up to go out at night, I feel so free, I can practice my new dance moves in the living room all night long in my knickers (see I am trying for the British word here) without a care in the world. "

Pho "I understand Ghost! I had friends over last night and we laughed so hard, I just realized that I can't laugh in H's presence because he thinks my jokes are stupid, and also I realized that I am sleeping so much better because I am not in a constant state of sexual frustration wondering when if ever he will put out. Out of sight, out of mind! And, even better, I have a hot new boyfriend ..... (OK wipe out that last part)."

Ghost, meet me back on this forum in a few months and see if I am right. We might be surprised at how much less stressful it is without our waywards underfoot calling us abusers.



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Ah, you would only say knickers here in the UK if it were a woman. For Ghost we'll have to say underpants grin


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Ghost... How is the exercise program going?

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Originally Posted By: Sotto
Ah, you would only say knickers here in the UK if it were a woman. For Ghost we'll have to say underpants grin


LOL! I have no clue!

Ghost, I am sorry I said you wear knickers!

Last edited by pho; 11/24/15 11:45 PM.


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lol it's,ok,

But yes it is pants I kmow,in the usa the meening is very different lol

Been going to the gym get to it about twice a week need to try and double that

Still,loosing weight ..eating carefully

Snacking on nuts and raisens rather than Chris's and have cutback a lot on the fzzy frisks tbh I have been so tired that the caffeine is a bit of a pick me up when I am working so have been drinking a few


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,453
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ATPeace Offline OP
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Pho

Thank you for sticking with me you reallŷ are my inspiration

Thank you

Ghost

I need to think up a new nick name any ideas


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 1,917
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Fear=lack of progress.

Let go of the fear and the rest will flow naturally.


M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
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