Just want to let you know I'm thinking about you. You will get through this. Don't worry about being divorced. I tell myself that emotionally my husband and I have been divorced for a while now, so legal paperwork means little.
I really feel like you are headed for great things, once you get past this obstacle. Seems like you have been held back a bit, so i am predicting that in the future I will be reading about how much happier you are and all the wonderful things you are now able to experience.
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
Judy - I have been advised by L, mediator, and therapist at different points in last 6 months that I should not do anything I don't WANT to do, especially if I feel I pressured.
I'll ask L if it works the same here. In my state, you can be divorced against your will if you ignore proceedings. Guess that's what I just went into debt borrowing money to pay L for, huh? So she can do what needs doing.
Thanks so much, all of you. I'm starting to worry about how sad I am. Although, wouldn't one expect this to be normal? I'm grieving for several things all at once; loss of marriage, loss of family, loss of the H I believed existed. How many days straight have others cried? Don't know if I should be concerned or not.
Well I will tell you that it is part of our deal that H has to pay my L fees. I won't pay a dime for a divorce I don't want.
Ancaire - it's so normal, honey. I cried every day for a month until I realized the pity party needed to be over. You need to cry. Feel the grief so you can get to the other side.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
Ancaire, I cried every day for 3 months, and now 8 months later I probably cry 2x a week, some weeks more. It is incredibly sad, you need to cry, let yourself feel the grief, there is no way around it. I am sorry for your pain. I wish there was an easier way.
Eh, I still bawl all the time and I'm over 9 months since BD. It's just part of the deal. I joked with my friend that at some point my tear ducts are just going to run out! Fingers crossed this happens soon.
Just let it flow.
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
Ancaire, please take care of our good friend Judy, she means a lot to us.
I think the important thing is care for yourself with compassion. Treat yourself well, this is an emotional trauma. Sometimes we are kinder to our friends and family then we are to ourselves. Be well Ancaire, be strong
Keeping you in my prayers tonight. Things do get better. Time is your friend. If you can slow things down to make it easier, then do it. It's okay to cry and release. Can you get some medication for your depression? I was on medication the first time my H went through his MLC (15 years ago) and it really helped me stay clear headed ( that's a whole different story). It didn't necessarily help stop the crying, but it helps control the anxiety.
Didn't you say that your H would have to take care of you financially because you cannot work right now? Hopefully you can leave that worry for your L to deal with.
