Otw, I'd want my kids with me as much as possible too and I wouldn't consider it babysitting. I agree with you 100% on that point, although I think your approach could use a lot of work. It has to come across as nonjudgmental, and that you are just happy to have the kids. Take the anger and the explanations out of your reasoning here, and just go with the loving father who wants to be with his kids approach.
As far as telling the kids. I don't know the answer here. Probably waiting until the weekend is best. It kind of reminds me of when I used to be an HR manager and we used to try to fire people on Fridays when possible, because then they had the weekend to process things and would be less likely to show up the next day trying to find out "why" and "what if". I know, bad analogy, but that's what comes to mind.
I am sorry you are having it rough O. You are a good dad, I wish you the best.
I agree. I still need more work controlling my emotions in this. I just feel so strongly on things and still love her so hard that I get clouded. Funny thing is I always rethink everything and d better. I need to make sure I bite my tongue for an hour and come back to things. I am coming to grips that this is happening but actually going through it is much harder than accepting it in your head beforehand. I am really worried about the kids. This is causing me a lot of pain and the fact that she seems to be so wrapped up in her own thing is mind boggling. She seems oblivious to their feelings. Thanks for the words. I have been reading on your sitch as well and praying for you also.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
I know we all hope the W will one day realize that maybe it wasnt the lbs fault she felt a certain way and like she missed out on something. We all hope that they will come and approach us about this. My question is how do we make sure they know you will be there if she does realize this and she should always feel she can approach us without making it seem like we will always be just waiting. not sure if that even makes sense.
I have heard times where the wife realized things but was ashamed and never said anything or they thought the lbs was to far gone and it would not work.
I just want to make sure my wife knows that when things move forward she can always come talk to me about things no matter where we are at the time. Do i just flat out tell her this?
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
I just want to make sure my wife knows that when things move forward she can always come talk to me about things no matter where we are at the time. Do i just flat out tell her this?
Not now but maybe at that time.
I guess the question is how will you feel at that point?
well she is going to start the move probably this week and finish up by end of the month. do i wait until she is moved out and tell her? one month? I want to make sure she knows this before i do have too much time alone and may start feeling different. i think i will always hold a special place in my heart for her no matter what. I am trying to look at this from a religious standpoint and it tells me that i need to wait as we will always be married in the eyes of god. i know a little easier said than done, but right now i cant even picture myself even going on a date.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
I want to make sure she knows this before i do have too much time alone and may start feeling different.
Why? Here is where you lost me.
What are you trying to accomplish? Is it that if you say something she might change her mind? I doubt it. You can say whatever you want, just EXPECT to get shot down. Right now pursuing and breaking the 37 rules is not going to bring her back.
Their is a reason that ACTIONS speak louder than words.
Whatever each one of you says are only words. Personally I would only believe actions.
You need to LET GO, when you can say whatever you want with NO EXPECTATIONS that might be the time to do it. Another words in a few years.
I understand what you are saying. I am trying to let go. I guess my thought process is that I wanted her knowing that I will always be willing to hear what she is thinking. You may be right it could get seen as pursuing.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
