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A Message from Michele
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Re: V is for Vanilla 23 [Re: ep0215] #2616327
10/16/15 03:58 AM
10/16/15 03:58 AM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,902
Right where I need to be
F
Fogg Offline
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Fogg  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2015
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Right where I need to be
That's quite a workload V, remember to take time to recharge and take care of yourself. Hope you're feeling better.


Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Re: V is for Vanilla 23 [Re: Fogg] #2616365
10/16/15 08:41 AM
10/16/15 08:41 AM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
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rd500 Offline
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Hi Vanillia. Be good to have all that out of the way. Health is raising its head again. This needs to be put to the forefront. To me it seems stress is a huge factor and with Glam Sis and the company , it's little wonder.

Viable business is a bit of a tricky one , any business can be viable and unless you are in serious debt then with the new customers and the company being ran as it should ( NO H) it can be made viable.

On the glam sis , how is she doing ?

Vanillia , you have spoken of abuse I/C and cost ,can I respectfully suggest a normal I /C or L/C becaus you seem to be dealing with a huge amount and no one can deal with that much stress without a release valve of some sort.

Take extra care Rd. xx

Re: V is for Vanilla 23 [Re: ep0215] #2616753
10/17/15 07:41 AM
10/17/15 07:41 AM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,106
Merrie England
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Merrie England
V I so admire your fortitude and it's wonderful that it sounds like the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter. Don't let it drain you completely though. I know you're much to sensible to let that happen but I just want to throw that out there. You are an inspiration.

OD xx


M: 57 / EW: 52
T: 21, M: 8
S: 18, S: 15
Bomb: 1 Jun 14
EA Aug 2014 I think
PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
Re: V is for Vanilla 23 [Re: Vanilla] #2616755
10/17/15 08:01 AM
10/17/15 08:01 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
V
Vanilla Offline OP
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Vanilla  Offline OP
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V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
Originally Posted By: Vanilla
I am struggling again.

My body is fighting me, it is headache, purging and I am very achy. I am physically afraid and exhausted as a result of the issues I have found, some very damaging indeed. I am very anxious and stressed the last two days. Perhaps the resistance is because I would rather not do this, I would rather it went away altogether. I am going to keep on until this is done.

I think my blood sugar is out of order, there is fog, horrors and nasal issues. Not good. Resistance, perhaps if I resolve this I can move on. What will I find at the end of this? Is my business viable? Have I allowed issues with WH to disguise an unpleasant truth?

Yes, I am afraid and that is causing me stress. Whatever. The past has to be resolved no matter, clients invoiced for past work. Then we will see.

Yesterday I achieved only a small amount of work. I tackled some of the worst reconciliation issues in the sole trade and some transactions took a very long time.

Today I reached May 2015 WH left 2 May 2015 and I started managing the transactions and it's much easier the transactions are cleaner and there are fewer problems.

So today I am pushing on with it, I have decided this week until Sunday then I have to go back to normal:

I will with energy concentration and joy:

1. Finish posting the sole trade
2. Reconcile the sole trade debtors ledgers
3. Raise standing order invoices
4. Post cash transactions
5. New bank statements that have come in this month to post
6. Start the current VAT return
7. Reconcile and agree the VAT ledgers in the VAT reg company

All of that today.

V


Thanks all, I am still doing no 2 haven't stopped. I have discovered a number of things in doing it. WH was borrowing cash from the business and then repaying it. As for lending cash to the business, he was taking it from my personal accounts to do that and then repaying himself from it.

Turns out he has never paid an equal share on expenses either!

I have until Sunday afternoon to get this under control then real life starts. I am hot housing the work and am getting very tired working into the night.

All the ranting and obnoxious behaviour was to disguise his actions.

With this kind of behaviour I got confused and left it alone.

I will now tread this inter relationship with stbxwh like a business R and be very clear on my actions.

Onwards until this is done. I am not stopping, usually I get 80% done then say another time, because I can and do finish. Not this time because I sense that is the 20% that will get me my results with my fins.

Gives me a clean start, I can pack away everything to do with WH and if any questions are asked then I will understand the sitch.

I have one important job to do for clients that I must not forget. The deadline is midnight on the 19the, and there will be fines if I don't so I will have to go to the office to do it. Won't take 20 mins but going out may do me good.

Last time I went out was Thursday lunchtime, had chiropody and diabetes check.

Onwards

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Re: V is for Vanilla 23 [Re: ep0215] #2616756
10/17/15 08:13 AM
10/17/15 08:13 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
V
Vanilla Offline OP
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Vanilla  Offline OP
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V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
Avanti, WhyUs, Fogg thank you for dropping by.

Yes I do forget rest and I am pushing forwards as much as I can. There will be time for rest when this is over.

I am eating well, and little exercise and of course posting is limited here. This needs completing.

Ep, I saw Sunny was helping you and she is so great at kids stuff that I felt she would be better at your email. Fantastic example of enforcing your boundaries. Great development so proud of you.

RD, yes my lovely bruv, another couple of days and I will be free of this chore and all will be to my standard.

WhyUs, the work done by WH is so poor and I cease to wonder at it as once the effects are gone then some damage may persist but it will be trivial in comparison.

I have piles of scrappy hand written notes and the accounting daily log to decipher and that is best done when I am in the middle of this. Some of it will not be relevant but there may still be journals and resolutions to be done.

I am traditional I have a debtors log, creditors log and banking log. The banking log is the one that most concerns me.

It has been months and I haven't yet invoiced because
1. I don't know the debtors position
2. The time sheets weren't posted or reconciled
3. I was so confused about work done other than my own


It is coming back under control again, this is the last phase, I want it completed so I can move on quickly. It's time.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Re: V is for Vanilla 23 [Re: Vanilla] #2616757
10/17/15 08:20 AM
10/17/15 08:20 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
V
Vanilla Offline OP
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Vanilla  Offline OP
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V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
RD

I speak to glam sis every day and she is getting better, she is bored at home and has arranged endless streams of visitors. She wishes she could help out and I actually sense this is a job for me alone at this stage as it involves so much cross thinking to resolve issues.

I am eating well, and I am sad about lack of exercise.

It's only once this needs to be done, it feels like an enormous waste of time and there is nothing that I can do for the past. Just keeping moving on.

RD I will start IC when I am solvent, currently I am living on credit cards and scraps of cash. I have cut my expenses to the bone. I spend only on essentials, like food.

Must press on.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Re: V is for Vanilla 23 [Re: Vanilla] #2616762
10/17/15 08:50 AM
10/17/15 08:50 AM
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 684
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Avanti Offline
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Posts: 684
V. if I may, you sound a little obsessed. Are you prone to feeling like you aren't whole unless you get certain tasks done and absolutely perfect?

Being blunt, you've set deadlines before and missed them as the work was greater than you thought, this could still be the case and you don't seem to have accepted that.

There are things that do have absolute deadlines for that must be done, which is great. You are seemingly then focussing on the important but not urgent stuff which is great BUT if the machine is starved of fuel or isn't maintained, it will break or it's performance be severely impacted.

A question for you, if you slackened off slightly on the timelines for some of the important but not urgent stuff, would that give you some time to sharpen your axe?

A few hours in the grand scheme of things wouldn't matter that much to the stuff that needs doing. The time used wisely would repair and replenish and probably shortened the duration of activity for a given task because you are working at peak performance more often.


- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow
- Consult your plan, not your feelings
- If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
Re: V is for Vanilla 23 [Re: Avanti] #2616919
10/18/15 01:43 AM
10/18/15 01:43 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
V
Vanilla Offline OP
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Vanilla  Offline OP
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V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
Avanti
Yes I am obsessed. Driven even to get this done and over.

Just watch what that drive will do when I apply myself.

Yes it matters very much because I can't invoice, I thought WH had taken client funds as it turns out there was weird stuff but no direct taking of funds. He basically lived off me. I am absolutely sure. I was very worried about invoicing clients or chasing for debts as I felt that cash might have been taken but that's not the case, thank goodness. I do not trust WH at all, neither his work quality, attitude or honesty. I am having to protect myself.

Yes, the work load is greater than I thought, hey I am an optimist that's what cups half full people do.

They believe everything will be OK.

I am not a perfectionist, just a pragmatist. I get one shot at this, if I get it on point, this is my future staring back.

All the ammo on my D fins, form E has to be filed. In a week or so and I will be ready.

This is work that had to be done. I am doing it and it's going to be OK. I know this because I now have knowledge about WH that no spouse should have. If he has secrets left on his fins then they are very deeply buried.

This WH has taken advantage of me in every way. I have the proof. Far from WH subsidising me and the business the truth is the exact opposite. WH has had a funfair ride at my expense.

Well this is the end of that ride and I can provide the evidence: analysis, bank statements.

I will use to defend myself with my perspex shield against the spew and rants that may come.

I only have the Limited Company left to do and that I really hope will be easier. It is reconciled by my no 2 often, so I hope the basics are done.

3 o'clock and I have completed the sole trade and all my personals.

I feel really pleased.

V




Last edited by Vanilla; 10/18/15 01:51 AM.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Re: V is for Vanilla 23 [Re: Vanilla] #2616920
10/18/15 01:53 AM
10/18/15 01:53 AM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 924
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u-turn Offline
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Posts: 924
Hi V
I was just checking in after another week away and your post popped up.

It sounds as though there is a little glimmer of a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope this is the case and the light keeps getting brighter.

I think of you often and hope you are doing well. (I wish I had your business knowledge to help me dig myself out of my).

Cheers V!!


Me-45 W-44
S21, S18, D15
T-27, M-21
BD Jan 2014
PA revealed March 2014
In-house separation - April 2015
I filed - Aug 2015
She moved out Oct 2015
Re: V is for Vanilla 23 [Re: u-turn] #2616930
10/18/15 03:05 AM
10/18/15 03:05 AM
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,387
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PigPen Offline
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Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,387
So great to hear that you're almost at the end dear V! Your WH is not going to know what hit him. Hopefully this means he'll be out of your life for good.

Please keep taking care of yourself and resting when you need to. This is a large load to bare for anyone, rest and self care will remain a big part of your future climb back up.

Big hugs to you,

PP


M 39 W 36
T5 M3
BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day
Served 9/15
D finalized 6/17
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