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A Message from Michele
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Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: Dawn70] #2610077
09/25/15 09:26 PM
09/25/15 09:26 PM
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Dawn70 Online OP
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I firmly believe that God puts things and people in our path when we need them the most. My friend from high school called again last night and this time we talked for almost 4 hours. It was just so nice to have someone to talk and laugh with and just not think about much of anything.

That is really helping me keep my mind off XH and his new woman because she is now here too and I know they have been all over town having fun and him introducing her to everyone. Fortunately, I have not bumped into them yet and I'm so very grateful for that. But there again, that proves my theory that God takes care of us, because I have been so wrapped up talking to my "new" old friends that I haven't really had much time for anything else this week.

Do you hear that....it is the sound of happiness heading my way. smile


Me 49, XH 51
3 adult daughters from his first marriage
3 grandsons, 1 granddaughter
My 1st marriage, his 2nd
BD 9/29/2014
H moved out 10/6/2014
H filed D 11/4/2014
D final 12/17/2014
Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: Dawn70] #2610181
09/26/15 07:16 AM
09/26/15 07:16 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Sotto Offline
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Sotto  Offline
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Posts: 5,301
Dawn, I think it already arrived smile

Nice to be in touch with old school friends. As you say, distracts from what was always going to be a bit of a tough week. Good that you haven't bumped in to them and the week will soon be over. Anyway - who knows if they are having fun. It could all be quite a strain for them - we just never really know with stuff like that....

Anyway - I hope you and Molly have a fabulous weekend my friend xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: Sotto] #2610265
09/26/15 04:53 PM
09/26/15 04:53 PM
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Posts: 1,720
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jim0987 Offline
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Hi Dawn

Sounds like things are good for you and not all fantasy for your XH, well it was his choice.

And if/when you do bump into them it will be fine because you did nothing wrong and it will be clear to see how well you're doing.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: jim0987] #2610912
09/29/15 02:44 PM
09/29/15 02:44 PM
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Dawn70 Online OP
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Today is the 1 year anniversary of the bomb drop for me and I'm sure feeling all the emotions that entails today. I have cried, been angry and just feel sad, all in the span of the last few hours since I awoke. I'm pretty busy at work, which is a good thing. Occupies my mind I suppose.

I will see XH and his woman together in a few days and I know that is adding to my stress level. Ready or not, here it comes. frown

I'm trying to kind of pull back my enthusiasm where the new guys are concerned too because I am letting myself get too wrapped up in whether they call or text and that is so not a healthy place to be right now, all things considered. New guy #1 called Sunday and told me he would call again last night, but never did. So that, of course, set my mind reeling, which is absolutely ridiculous.

I was doing so well, but today, today is just one of those where I would really just prefer to crawl under and rock and hide from the world. Someone please tell me that it is ok and it will all work out........................


Me 49, XH 51
3 adult daughters from his first marriage
3 grandsons, 1 granddaughter
My 1st marriage, his 2nd
BD 9/29/2014
H moved out 10/6/2014
H filed D 11/4/2014
D final 12/17/2014
Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: Dawn70] #2610949
09/29/15 05:12 PM
09/29/15 05:12 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Sotto Offline
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Hi Dawn, I'm sorry you're having a rough day. Not surprising - and generally you do so well; you don't need to worry about having an occasional 'want to pull the duvet over my head' day.

It's a good thing that you are busy and at work and of course these low feelings will pass. I'm sorry that you have to see XH and his woman soon. I can understand that must feel difficult. Perhaps you can see it as a necessary meeting with an awkward client that you don't particularly like. You'll do the minimum to engage with them and move on to other things as soon as you can. And when it is done, it is done.

As for the other guys. I agree that there is no need for lovely Dawn's mind to be reeling if someone didn't call when they sai they would. I'm trying to reinvent myself as an assured, mature woman, able to do things on her terms, talk honestly with guys...and so on. But it's a shift for me to get from gawky teenage tendencies to that (not saying you're a gawky teenager of course!!)

So, I am dropping in to say - it is okay, and it will all work out for you. From all that you post and who you are - I know with confidence that will be the case xx

Last edited by Sotto; 09/29/15 05:13 PM.

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: Sotto] #2611569
10/01/15 08:04 PM
10/01/15 08:04 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,132
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Dawn70 Online OP
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Sotto, you give good advice as usual. I like the thought of dealing with XH as just an awkward client. That might make the whole thing easier.

Thanks for letting me know it is ok and it will all work out. I had a down day Tuesday but I have been slowly building back up this week, thanks mainly due to the fact that I have been pretty busy at work.

I am really looking forward to D's wedding this weekend, despite knowing XH and his tart will be there. My mom, sis and niece are going with me, so I will have my reinforcements and I'm so very grateful for that.

It will be interesting for sure, but it is my D's day and I'm looking forward to sharing it with her. smile


Me 49, XH 51
3 adult daughters from his first marriage
3 grandsons, 1 granddaughter
My 1st marriage, his 2nd
BD 9/29/2014
H moved out 10/6/2014
H filed D 11/4/2014
D final 12/17/2014
Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: Dawn70] #2611579
10/01/15 08:46 PM
10/01/15 08:46 PM
Joined: Sep 2015
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TDball Offline
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Hi There. I havent caught up on your situation, but reading this thread made me feel hopeful.

I know it must have been rough, but you made it through the 1 year anniversary, and it sounds like you're in a really good place. It's nice feeling just an inkling of a spark again, isn't it?


Me: early 30s
Husband: early 30s
Married 3 years, together 6
No children

ILYBINILWY: 3/2015
He asks for divorce: 4/2015
Moves out for good: 5/2015
I start the divorce process 8/2015
Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: TDball] #2611582
10/01/15 08:54 PM
10/01/15 08:54 PM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
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jim0987 Offline
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It is OK and it will all work out. smile

It's the one year anniversary and your seeing the fool soon, always going to be rough on the emotions so its fine. Besides I'm sure you're going to look great so he will find it more awkward.

Same with the guys, things are a bit uncertain and have an emotional impact but as long as you recognise what's happen and adjust you'll be fine (as you have been throughout).

It's all good and getting better.

Say hi to molly for me


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: jim0987] #2611586
10/01/15 09:06 PM
10/01/15 09:06 PM
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gonegrl Offline
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Nothing new to add Dawn, but I wanted to show my support.

Have a great time and focus on your D!



Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: gonegrl] #2611846
10/02/15 06:58 PM
10/02/15 06:58 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,132
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Dawn70 Online OP
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Dawn70  Online OP
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Posts: 2,132
Thank you all for stopping by and your kind words of support. I know this week was just about a roller coaster and I expect that will continue for sometime. It was brought on my xh being in town and at least I recognize that.

I'm ready to face him and his new woman with all of the grace and dignity that I can muster this Sunday and to put my best foot forward for my daughter's benefit. I will be polite, but not friendly.

I was watching tv last night and one of the characters told another that it was better to have grace than to be bitter and I thought wow.....that is powerful. I have said all along I don't want to be bitter and I keep saying that and I truly do not want to be bitter. I don't want to hate either, though that one might be a little harder to hold onto. Whatever may come, I'm going to face it head on and then lean on you all and my family and friends who surround me for support.

I'm feeling better now than I did earlier this week, though Sunday will be a challenge. I'm up to the challenge!


Me 49, XH 51
3 adult daughters from his first marriage
3 grandsons, 1 granddaughter
My 1st marriage, his 2nd
BD 9/29/2014
H moved out 10/6/2014
H filed D 11/4/2014
D final 12/17/2014
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