OK, so new thread and link housekeeping taken care of...
I can tell I'm going to do a lot of venting through the legal process. It just makes me antsy. The meeting yesterday was fine, nothing bad, and it still stressed me out. Today I received an agenda for our first joint meeting, and again, nothing bad on it, but, well, here I am venting. Bear with me, guys.
I'm a little put out that STBX is not taking care of what I feel are his responsibilities for D17, regarding her phone and her car. Those are things he normally would have handled, but now somehow he expects me to take over. Why exactly is that? He's not D her. I'm going to do it this time, since I have the time while I'm not working, but next time I'm going to speak up.
What I need to do with all this angst and frustration is get into the weight room......
Brought over from Zues's thread, so as not to hijack:
Originally Posted By: ep0215
This is just a tid bit of info but during our last mediation my L brought up determining a date of asset valuation, i.e. the date of D filing.
Ep, setting the date of valuation is on the agenda for our first meeting. It had better be the date of filing, there were some major financial transactions during the past year, and I don't want any problems with that. There's also a major payout due next year, and quite frankly, I want half of that, too, because it's related to a transaction from last year. The things I never thought I'd have to pay attention to...
Good luck, Sunny, I hope it all goes smoothly for you. I'm sorry I haven't been hanging around lately but there's been a lot going on around here and frankly, I was starting to feel ready to move on. I still am, but I wanted to check in on my buddies and see how you are. I think I'm happy to see your position moving a little more and you feeling strongly about standing up for yourself. I'm sorry I wasn't a part of it but I'm glad to see it happening.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Hey Sunny Thanks for asking your questions - I have the same questions and am entering this process right behind you. There are so many things to think of to protect yourself and the kids.
I am getting stressed out with every thought of this process.
I just wanted to let you know that I am by your side. Stay strong U
Me-45 W-44 S21, S18, D15 T-27, M-21 BD Jan 2014 PA revealed March 2014 In-house separation - April 2015 I filed - Aug 2015 She moved out Oct 2015
For both of you, just remember that if you can't decide the court will, and it will most likely decide in the way that the sensible ones not pushing for too much advantage (that is you) are suggesting. Ultimately the Ls know this, and a firm reasonable stand usually calls the bluffing and posturing. Obviously not an L myself, but from talking to others who have pushed through that far, the courts will likely see the filing date as the reasonable and appropriate date of valuation. The problem is that the S doesn't necessarily see this, and this drives the legal fees up until one of you gives out. Hopefully, they have a professional L who will help them see that when you don't just roll over that they played their hand and that it is time to accept reality.
Good luck.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
Thanks for the support, Maybell and U-Turn. Great to see you both posting here!
Asitis, the collaborative agreement is set up to make it extremely difficult to go to court. If the collaboration fails, we have to hire new Ls, child experts, and financial people, none of it transfers over to a court case. But I don't really think it's going to be an issue anyway....I hope it's not going to be an issue......
I have a FB friend that I don't actually know all that well. He's M, but from all FB appearances seems to live an entirely separate life from his W. Today a post he "liked" showed up in my newsfeed. It included a picture of a very scantily clad woman, with her nearly bare a$$ up in the air. Really? I don't care if he enjoyed the picture privately, the girl was hot. But clicking "like" and having all your friends and family know it is very disrespectful to his wife and children. This falls into the "what's wrong with people" category for me. Am I a prude?
No- I don't think you're being prudish. I know some wives that are supposedly ok with this sort of thing - but putting it out there in public does indeed seem pretty disrespectful.
I have to say I've found these sort of degrading images more grating lately. Not sure if it is a side affect of D or because I have two young daughters.
Thanks, Raliced. I don't care what people do in the privacy of their own homes, but I just didn't like it being so public.
My GAL has tanked this weekend, yesterday I invited a friend over for dinner but it didn't work out, so I just stayed home and watched a movie by myself. I greatly enjoyed that, which is kind of the problem, I could happily be a hermit. He then invited me to bike today, and I couldn't. But I have a lot of things to take care of around the house today, and I'll be busy. Not sure what I'm doing tonight, I've been invited to an art cinema movie, but I'm not all that excited about it. D12 is with STBX, D17 is babysitting, so I'd be home alone again.
Not much else to report, everyone have a great day!
