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A Message from Michele
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Re: V is for Vanilla 20 [Re: Vanilla] #2592261
07/28/15 08:15 PM
07/28/15 08:15 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
V
Vanilla Offline OP
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Vanilla  Offline OP
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V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
Zelda, sister under the skin, I am looking forward to seeing your recovery, seeing posts like Dawns and hearing about cupcakes, celebrations, sunshine and laughter. I want to be there to hear the music for Zelda.

Dawn, I can not tell you how important your posts have been to me, just knowing that you are there and having a life is fabulous, I sometimes think I see you and Molly under a tree ahead of me on the road waving. I have this image of Molly as warm friendly and a tail that endlessly wags. I do hope Rotary brings us together one day.

Fogg, yes I see some glimmers of recovery already but its ironic that visiting a GUM clinic would unblock, even I would have found that difficult to reframe!

PP, it is very comforting to know that we as members of the board wish each other so much happiness and peace in life. Joe indeed positivity brings its own reward. I confess that pre WH, I was a Polyanna type happiness buff, happiness is a precious diamond and I am sure I failed to value it. But I will value this more in due course. I am minded of a quote from Henry VI part 1 (Shakespeare)

If all the year were playing holidays,
To sport would be as tedious as to work,
But when they seldom come, they wished for come,
And nothing pleaseth but rare accidents.
So when this loose behavior I throw off
And pay the debt I never promisèd,
By how much better than my word I am,
By so much shall I falsify men’s hopes;
And, like bright metal on a sullen ground,
My reformation, glitt'ring o'er my fault,
Shall show more goodly and attract more eyes
Than that which hath no foil to set it off.
I’ll so offend to make offense a skill,
Redeeming time when men think least I will.

It seems apt for DB, reform and resolution, a shiny piece of jewelry needs a dark foil before we see the shine on it.

I will work my way to recovery on my fins.

V

Last edited by Vanilla; 07/28/15 08:17 PM.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Re: V is for Vanilla 20 [Re: Vanilla] #2592313
07/28/15 10:36 PM
07/28/15 10:36 PM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
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jim0987 Offline
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jim0987  Offline
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Posts: 1,720
Shakespeare really had a way with words. Made me think of this, which I think is also apt.

Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie,
Which we ascribe to heaven: the fated sky
Gives us free scope, only doth backward pull
Our slow designs when we ourselves are dull.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Re: V is for Vanilla 20 [Re: PigPen] #2592371
07/29/15 04:07 AM
07/29/15 04:07 AM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
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gan Offline
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Originally Posted By: PigPen
This whole board thinks the world of you and wants nothing more than to see you healthy and well.

This ^^^. EXACTLY this.


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Re: V is for Vanilla 20 [Re: gan] #2592490
07/29/15 03:50 PM
07/29/15 03:50 PM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,226
R
rd500 Offline
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rd500  Offline
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Posts: 2,226
Hi Vanillia. This is the thread where it all comes good

Right , this quoting Shakespeare has to stop , I'm completely out of my depth and you could post Shakespeare said anything and I would have to accept it !!!!!

My education was comprehensive in school title only ! Snippets gained by watching to much tele as a kid will not let me converse at this level

Anyway back to you Thank you for remembering the health , it's sometimes only really valued when it's gone and while business and money comes and goes, health can be lost and all else can follow

Re the business , I'm in a somewhat similar boat and I struggle to keep all the balls in the air but all is not lost if one drops , it can be picked up

I love to read the amount of good wishes you receive on each new post. Your value on this board is shown often and I hope that gives you a good feeling because it should. You give so much to some many on here that I for one can easily see how H was able to do the damage he did. From my simple prospective Vanillia is a good , caring , kind and TRUSTING person

Vanillia has an open heart and accepts people and loves them H was a predator of sorts and the man has issues ,serious ones but Vanillias only error was being to Vanillia like. I'm sure there are plenty of reasons why you are such a good person, upbringing , nature , education but whatever they are , they created a great person who actually looks for good in everyone and maybe overlooks other traits

Again just my opinion but would I prefer to be Vanillia or a more calculating person like RD ( who has to SEE what people are like before opening up and even then with insecurities ) , Vanillia every time !!!!!!!!

It may seem being Vanillia has caused great pain because of H but look back on your life and the bits you have told us , you had great love with H1 and its beautiful to read about and I look forward to the day we sit together and you can tell me every detail of that love H2 , you still care deeply I can only imagine the love you have received from friends and family all through your life and will continue to receive

Being Vanillia is great and will continue to be great

Thank you Lady V. Proud to be a friend and Internet family. Rd. xxxx

Re: V is for Vanilla 20 [Re: Joe46] #2592637
07/29/15 10:29 PM
07/29/15 10:29 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
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WhyUs Offline
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V,

Thanks again for posting on my thread. My WW and I own a business together which I have not me tioned befoewhich is going to bring about new problems. So you are a fellow business owner:) i am a CPA also, so business is what I do. I know the stress it can cause. At least you have made up your mind to take care of it. Many people ignore these problems and hope they go away on their own. That is when busineses fail.


Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs
EA: Started 3/2015
MC Started: 4/2015
She moved out and served 6/2015
PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015
2 young kids

"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
Re: V is for Vanilla 20 [Re: WhyUs] #2592655
07/29/15 11:26 PM
07/29/15 11:26 PM
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 629
USA
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Joe46 Offline
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Joe46  Offline
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Thanks for checking in on me V!! I answered you on my current thread!! smile


Me:44
EXW 44
Wonderful Children
M11, T14
BD 6/14
OM Confirmed
Divorce Final 2/25/16
"It works if you work it!"

Re: V is for Vanilla 20 [Re: WhyUs] #2593364
08/01/15 06:42 AM
08/01/15 06:42 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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V
Vanilla Offline OP
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Vanilla  Offline OP
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V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
Originally Posted By: WhyUs
V,

Thanks again for posting on my thread. My WW and I own a business together which I have not me tioned befoewhich is going to bring about new problems. So you are a fellow business owner:) i am a CPA also, so business is what I do. I know the stress it can cause. At least you have made up your mind to take care of it. Many people ignore these problems and hope they go away on their own. That is when busineses fail.


There is damage to repair and so much work to do especially on the Fins. At some stage I would like to explore this with you, the recovery in the business, I guess you let WW take ownership or do you still run it. In my case the business was mine before WH came along.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Re: V is for Vanilla 20 [Re: Vanilla] #2593365
08/01/15 07:13 AM
08/01/15 07:13 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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V
Vanilla Offline OP
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Vanilla  Offline OP
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V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
Jim RD, I am a Shakespeare nerd a complete anorak on him. As a child I read his plays for pleasure and used to get my sisters dressed up to act them out. It was lovely to do. I was also fond of the Adams Family too (go figure). My favourite author was Dickens although I liked Ellory Queens mysteries too.

I borrowed from the adult library and at one stage wanted to be a librarian. This strange world of the Internet and downloads, Kindles and second hand books is like finding treasure to me. I can lose myself in bookshops for days at a time if needs be. There is a charity shop full of books music and delicious DVDs near me and I visit it almost every week, I am not a hoarder though and return them for resale. I do collect music and the local £1 shop sells refurb DVDs and CDs so I pick up bargains. I have a blu ray player in my bedroom just fr this purpose. I really envy Toots her bookshop GAL, one day I may volunteer in a shop with books and CDs.

Edz did tell me how to rip my DVDs so I carry a small drive when I travel with some of these films and music on it. The world is expanding.

In my head sometimes I convert our sitches into Shakespeare type plays with conversations, actually the posts are like conversations. In my posts sometimes I talk to myself and on others I interact. Maybe I could use that as a tool in my new DB toolkit. Wonder which one it would be. Has to be a manual on something I think. On plumbing , yes plumbing, super Mario style plumbing.

I love the words to songs too, lyrics mean a great deal. Sentimental old thing, strange thing is I can no longer remember the name of the songs we chose for the wedding. I spent a long time choosing them too, but the songs with H1 are on my iPad I remember them as if I just chose them. WH wasn't interested really in the choices, so when I said we chose them I guess I mean me. Strange how my memory has erased it.

WH was always saying V wasn't a 'we' person, his biggest gripe. I may not know how to be a 'we' person in my R. I shall ponder this a little. I discovered that WH had an online dating membership throughout our R and from what I heard was active on it too. Looking for POWs even on our wedding day, thanks WH. He bragged about it to a room full of people on more than one occasion. My bestie advised me a few days ago of it and I have the name of the site. I am looking for more INTEL for my D so I will find out, I shall ask a friend to research it for me.

I am still M so until I am D I won't date or even think about it. So since today is August 1 and it is my deadline day. I will get on with filing, I only need to review the paperwork and it goes in. I shall ask my L to review before I file.

This is the first thread of resolution. Dawn freedom beckons, Gan since I admire your adventurous spirit so much then I hope I meet you somewhere Exotic and wonderful. And I love Uganda.

V

Last edited by Vanilla; 08/01/15 07:18 AM.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Re: V is for Vanilla 20 [Re: Vanilla] #2593366
08/01/15 07:19 AM
08/01/15 07:19 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Sotto Offline
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Posts: 5,301
Morning V - I haven't posted lately on your thread....but I do follow along and am pleased to see what progress you are making. I can't believe that your WH had an online dating account all the way through your M. Like, he would marry, but still keep his options open and hope to pick up someone else??

I think he may have a void that he believes a continuous string of women may fill perhaps? It is a shame, because really he is perpetuating the void by not truly committing to anyone and having a fulfilling monogamous R. His loss I think...

So, August is the month you file. I just wanted to send my very best wishes, and wish you luck with this next stage. It is good that you have taken control - in this and many other areas of your life - and can look forward to better times once things are resolved.

Take care lovely V xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Re: V is for Vanilla 20 [Re: Vanilla] #2593367
08/01/15 07:32 AM
08/01/15 07:32 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
V
Vanilla Offline OP
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Vanilla  Offline OP
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V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
RD

Yes I know I have love, friendship and great family. I do wish I was more grounded though. I am enormously admiring of RD and his beautiful family and the great pleasure and joy they have together.

My adopted brother RD has an open heart too, a lovely soft daft.Irish sweetheart with such a caring nature. RD you are loved very deeply too. At the moment I don't live alone, I live with an endless house full of people coming and going. I wish there were children, I miss WH beautiful granddaughters and one day I hope to have some sprites in my life.. Clients come to stay, family members come and stay over, the big house has a pulse again, it has life. I will miss it when I sell it. Isn't that the way of things, change and new adventures.

My heart is open to new love one day, just not yet. It's too soon for V.

I hope WH finds what he is looking for and is happy with his choices so he does no further damage. He told a friend he was going to be a giggalo and my friend says she thought to herself you already are. How sad, her XWH was the same and still is I understand so. She met a wonderful new love and one week before their wedding he died. Life is unkind sometimes and gives great love at others.

I am loved and of course that brings great wealth and treasure. So it is for RD.

V


Last edited by Vanilla; 08/01/15 07:33 AM.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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