CALL 303-444-7004 to get started right away!

 

 


A Divorce Busting® Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.


A Divorce Busting Telephone Coach
can help you save your marriage singlehandedly!
CALL 303-444-7004
or see Coaching Packages online at the Divorce Busting Store

A Message from Michele
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6
Re: Ripken - WW filed for divorce and already moved on [Re: Georgia Bulldogs] #2584627
07/04/15 12:30 AM
07/04/15 12:30 AM
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 569
D
Defacto Offline
Member
Defacto  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 569
Rip,
You are in my thoughts tonight. I can only begin to imagine the range of emotions you are feeling right now. It's tough enough just to keep our own heads above water. We have the duty to protect the innocent too. Unfortunately, I'm just not sure the best way to navigate this sensitive issue.


Me:35 W:30
D:4 S:1
Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA
In House Separation: 01/14/15
W moves out: 04/05/15
I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15
W serves D papers: 06/19/15
Mediation: 09/16/15
D final: 12/01/15
Re: Ripken - WW filed for divorce and already moved on [Re: Defacto] #2584632
07/04/15 12:45 AM
07/04/15 12:45 AM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 316
W
wmwb123 Offline
Member
wmwb123  Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 316
I might also add that my brother and I never told our father that we were being abused, precisely because of the dynamic that GB describes.


M 16 T 17
W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14
ILYBNIL 5/14
A discovered 6/14
D papers served via USPS 8/14
Filed my response 9/14
D final 5/15...
Re: Ripken - WW filed for divorce and already moved on [Re: wmwb123] #2584726
07/04/15 02:37 PM
07/04/15 02:37 PM
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 512
R
Ripken8 Offline OP
Member
Ripken8  Offline OP
Member
R
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 512
Guys, thanks for all the support and advice. While I do agree in general, I'm not sure all the advice fits my situation. Also, as everyone knows, what ever action I take or don't, I am the one who deals with the consequences.

That being said, I have no intention of lying to my sons. The haven't mentioned his name once to me or even said mommy had someone over. That's good enough for now. If they do ask, I won't lie, I'll be honest with them, without going into all the details.

Also I asked ww to hold of on further meetings with om and our sons until the meet with ic beginning of August. I want to see what's going on with them and what ic would recommend. I don't want to have them subjected to anything more that could hurt them.

Now if I take gb recommendation today, not only am I doing just that, but also doing the exact opposite of what I asked my ww to do.

This is about looking at progress. One week ago we ignored each other, avoided each other, had animosity and felt the other was constantly out to get us. Since then, we do communicate. It's still very much a work in progress, but it will prob have to be. The thing is she is trying and even agreed on some things - payments, getting boys in conseling, etc.

If I made a William Wallace charging on the battlefield stance now, she will get defensive and the door to communicate really may never open again. I'm sure you hear this a lot, but this is really who she is. She was already starting to get that way when we spoke yesterday and then she calmed down and apologized- different and a good different.

I am not naive nor will I be. But I also have to evaluate what's best for my situation and right now it's continuing to communicate on decisions with the boys with ww, be an awesome dad for them, talk with the ic and if they bring anything up to be, be honest about it.

Last edited by Ripken8; 07/04/15 02:38 PM.

M-33
W-33
S-11, S-8
M-11, T-14
BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18
I moved out 5/23
Re: Ripken - WW filed for divorce and already moved on [Re: Ripken8] #2584743
07/04/15 04:47 PM
07/04/15 04:47 PM
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,098
Midwest
Z
Zephyr Offline
Member
Zephyr  Offline
Member
Z
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,098
Midwest
So I hesitate to even say this. I worry a lot about scum bags in this world. Is there s way to have some kind of background check type of scenario for anyone your children's mother decides to have around your children... used in any sort of agreement. You won't and can't tell her who she can see. You can perhaps help open her eyes to possibility of problem people. Idk...just spit balling. / brainstorming.

I have a lifelong friend who recently just started dating a new woman. He has since moved into her house after maybe 6 weeks. Now I love this man as a brother and trust him with my life, but this woman just met him and can't possible have a handle on 'who he really is'. This woman has two teenage girls. I am floored by that situation and I know the man and don't know the family AT ALL.


M - 40's
W - 30's
Two Sons
Living together
Re: Ripken - WW filed for divorce and already moved on [Re: Zephyr] #2584917
07/05/15 02:25 PM
07/05/15 02:25 PM
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 512
R
Ripken8 Offline OP
Member
Ripken8  Offline OP
Member
R
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 512
Zephyr, there may be but not sure what good it does. Just because someone has a clean background doesn't mean they're good to have a round my children and just because someone has a mistimed or for weed 5 years ago doesn't mean they're bad.

If I propose or enforce something like that, my ww will fire back harder with something restrictive on me. We are still going through divorce proceedings and one of my goals is to try and have it be the least amount of messy as possible. For my financial future and for my boys.

And even if it was put in, I'd assume if she really wanted om or whomever around, it'd be hard to stop her, she does what she wants. To my knowledge while om is a horrible person, I'm not sure he's a criminal threat.


M-33
W-33
S-11, S-8
M-11, T-14
BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18
I moved out 5/23
Re: Ripken - WW filed for divorce and already moved on [Re: Ripken8] #2584980
07/05/15 08:17 PM
07/05/15 08:17 PM
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 569
D
Defacto Offline
Member
Defacto  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 569
Rip,
Any GAL plans for tonight? Ever get caught up on True Detective?


Me:35 W:30
D:4 S:1
Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA
In House Separation: 01/14/15
W moves out: 04/05/15
I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15
W serves D papers: 06/19/15
Mediation: 09/16/15
D final: 12/01/15
Re: Ripken - WW filed for divorce and already moved on [Re: Defacto] #2584988
07/05/15 08:42 PM
07/05/15 08:42 PM
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 512
R
Ripken8 Offline OP
Member
Ripken8  Offline OP
Member
R
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 512
De facto - I have the boys this weekend and after seeing ww Friday the weekend has flown by and been a blast. Boys and I hung out with friends and went swimming Friday. Yesterday we watch the hot dog eating contest at bww. Then went to a bbq, birthday party with tons of friends and yard games. Today we went to see the new terminator movie and tonite were about to head out to watch the World Cup.

Tomorrow will be my true detective day. I need to start planning some more gal activities for the weekend though. 2 of the next 3 weekends I have no plans and very unsure what to do. It makes me kind of anxious. Having plans and things to look forward to has helped. When I don't have something that's when the loneliness sets in.


M-33
W-33
S-11, S-8
M-11, T-14
BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18
I moved out 5/23
Re: Ripken - WW filed for divorce and already moved on [Re: wmwb123] #2585099
07/06/15 11:57 AM
07/06/15 11:57 AM
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 760
USA
R
RAI Offline
Member
RAI  Offline
Member
R
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 760
USA
POSOM?

RAI


Me 48 XW 45
lots o' kids
D April 2017
Re: Ripken - WW filed for divorce and already moved on [Re: RAI] #2585101
07/06/15 12:01 PM
07/06/15 12:01 PM
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,647
M
Matt777 Offline
Member
Matt777  Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,647
Piece of chit other man?


At BD - Me: 33 Her: 33; M: 10 T: 15; D: 6 and 3

BD: 3/25/15
S: 4/20/15
D: 11/9/15
Re: Ripken - WW filed for divorce and already moved on [Re: wmwb123] #2585131
07/06/15 02:25 PM
07/06/15 02:25 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 630
W
WhyUs Offline
Member
WhyUs  Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 630
Georgia Bulldogs,

Thank you for that information. I have been struggling with telling to the truth to my 7 year old daughter. I hate to tell her that her mother is having an affair and has chosen another man over daddy. I will have to think of a very sensitive way to break the news without demeaning their mother. Your post helps me to see the reasons why it may be important to let her know what is going on. The short term may be hard but in the long run it may be better. I am going to talk to my therapist about this as well.


Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs
EA: Started 3/2015
MC Started: 4/2015
She moved out and served 6/2015
PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015
2 young kids

"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
Page 3 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004