Seem it got x rated and I fell of the world for a bit!
About 5 or more days. I was sucked in and it's been super awesome. At times he sounds like edz and some of our other guys. It's very intense and very, very scarey.
There a few issues, nothing about compatibility but just life circumstances.
It proves the Intense r I had with my h, can be created else where. The speed however is wow.. Just wow. He's so very sure on heaps of stuff and gawd I'm so so wobbly.
He's sort of doing some reading and trying to understand why his wife did simlar things to my h hitting him at night in bed and verbal abuse. I'm not fixing so much as doing what we do here talking and offering resources.
There have been huge amounts of chats and we seem to be walking the same road with many mirrored experiences in the r. As here with some of the same chat we have all had it seems I have some sort of hero worship going on. He's very smitten, embarisingly so. The nosey Neighbour was at the same location we first went out together and met up! Officially like a date. Sunday dinners are still and thing with in the last few weeks ten or so coming.
I'm finding all the nice flowery r stuff hard to hear, often I feel less than deserving. I'm not sure how much of my new found independent life I want to give up. The human company and physical touch tho, boy I have missed it far more than I knew.
It's very easy to know why affairs and new r are so bloody addictive. Sigh but if you go by the hell yes theory it's what both of us are saying...
So who knows, atm it's some sort of thing. He wants to use terms like gf etc and I mentally freak out. If we stay at his there is a house mate to consider, something I don't have.
S17 has a job not an apprecticship but full time he says. The wooding has slowed with the job, but the boys owe one load to me.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
The scarey bit are so because it's fast and risky.
I'm just sure I know where I was, at this time in his shoes. I thought I was awesome I thought I was ready.... But I know know I wasn't.
Pretty sure he would move in tomorrow, but his life is very moveable. He moved towns after wife's death twice since last year. Just to find a better place.
Some of his talk screams codependent stuff... Makes me want to scream and run. Love romantic first sight stuff.... Mmmmm nope. He believes in all that. Me not so much.
Some other stuff well he seems to validate better than do it's more instinctive. So not all bad. Lots of really really good bits.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Sounding like lots of fun, positive if very scary stuff going on there Gg, great! I'll take it as flattering at getting a call out there too
Really, just take it at a pace you're comfortable with. Have fun, get to know each other. Absolutely dont go to a place you're not ready for and work together with him as you are rather than trying to fix anything *for* him. Sounds like you're doing all the right things.
As to being scared, well, why wouldnt you be? The speed he's going and the speed you're going dont necessarilly *have* to match either as long as the destination is mutually agreeable. You dont need to plan the rest of your life yet, just maybe the next few weeks at a time.
Take it easy, enjoy, relax and dont do the classic Edz thing and overthink everything. Be wary of course but definitely never think you're not deserving or that you have to choose independence or a new relationship, if its right they're not mutually exclusive in most respects (bar one of course )
Have a great day Gg, so happy to hear from you on here again
Edz
M:44, W:46, S:10 M 13 years, T 15 BD:23/7/2014 W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014 My new place: 21/11/2014 W/S back to flat 22/11/2014 W coming closer, talking 4/2015 Piecing 5/2015 Moving in again 6/2015
Just as a guide. Not to judge but I'm not sure now give the way h was I know what a nice guy looks like. I would settle for one who needs nmmng.... Rather than one who pretends to be.
So we shall see, the L seems to have taken her hand brake off as well.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Sounds like interesting times. Also be interested to know how close the gossips are in their latest version of events.
Go as fast or slow as YOU like, just don't get sucked too far in so that you start glossing over red flags because it... ahem... hits a spot. A bit of caution is probably no bad thing.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
Hi GG - wow, pleased to hear that!! I agree with Edz and Jim. You (we) have had a tough time, and so that makes us perhaps a little cautious in a new R. I would just go at a pace you are comfortable at. There's no need to think about giving up space or moving in if you aren't ready. You are your own woman and you deserve to ask for what you want and say what you don't want.
If you feel scared, maybe just be authentic and say - this feels scary for me. I need a little more time, and so on.
But, pleased you're having a lovely time though!! xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Toots, it's been mentioned a time or two how scarey the whole thing is.
I'm wondering how close the gossipers might be too, I thought nosey neighbour might have made up some reason to call. Just to come fishing. Work bestie has been fishing, as she comes as part of Sunday night crew.,
I like the whole just us, it's not something the whole word needs to know, unlike h who told anyone who would listen. Lots of stuff us just nice, but yeah I don't want to gloss over things nor just build things in a shaky way. Like all of us who became lbs, he needs some tools and things he can use. I'm happy to share stuff like that, just because it all helps make a better r for us if that's what happens.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Toots, it's been mentioned a time or two how scarey the whole thing is.
I'm wondering how close the gossipers might be too, I thought nosey neighbour might have made up some reason to call. Just to come fishing. Work bestie has been fishing, as she comes as part of Sunday night crew.,
I like the whole just us, it's not something the whole word needs to know, unlike h who told anyone who would listen. Lots of stuff us just nice, but yeah I don't want to gloss over things nor just build things in a shaky way. Like all of us who became lbs, he needs some tools and things he can use. I'm happy to share stuff like that, just because it all helps make a better r for us if that's what happens.
Ugh, the fishing is the worst. So many of h's coworkers have been asking me if I still live "here". We rent from his emPloyer I know they are wondering if we are still in the same house. I just respond "yes WE are still here". He claims he hasn't said anything. Obviously one of his "trusted confidantes" is not to be trusted then.
40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
Well another week has passed, and boy things are still fast!
Hardly been apart, still freaked out in a way, I am worried about that honesty that I feel and other things might just be a reflection of what I'm sending out.
In some ways the old tapes keep surfacing and feeding those feelings of not being worthy of such a great r and such a sweet man. They are really tough to beat.
I do really really get how our husbands and wives get caught up in that affair glow and fantasy and how addictive that is. . Previously I didnt understandmthose who meet someone and move in same day. Seems I get that now!
There are just problems in my head, I keep thinking what ifs..... What if it get real? What if there are resentments that will surface..... And so the list goes on.
In other news s17 hates me. Not heard from him.
Xh2 is texting replies but wow the contrast is he sounds like a child. Lost and stupid. More L stuff for me to do. I haven't seen him and now I really don't want to or need to. Less so since the whole r started.
Not many know about the r, but those that do are stirring me quite a bit in a nice way and my friends.
Before I was freaked about introducing him to people and leaving that whole single life behind and having some dependency on a r. It that my single life was a huge social whirl but it was nice to get out and it was nice not to have to answer to and check with anyone... Just decided and go...I have come to the realisation I don't want to do half hearted on the r, so will just let it come out as it does along the way.
The brd he's been odd at work and the more I see of him at work the more I'm convinced I missed a bad deal there. He's a bit childish as well.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
