Rd Moving on 6

[Bob723]

Bob, agreeing with Toots is a bit of a contagion round these parts

She can surely also see you're doing well and that you and the kids are fine without her.

First of all, Jim, that was very funny.

RD, I agree with Jim that you are doing well and your W sees how well the kids are doing, too. This shows me that you are a very good man.

Way to go!

Bob

[Sotto]

Hi RD, just dropping in to say good morning....and to say I agree with Jim and Bob! You are doing well. You are there like a rock for your family, and that is something you will never regret for your whole life.

When the going got tough - you stayed and you toughed it out. That may sound like some indirect censure for your W. Because she didn't stay. But I don't mean it that way. She is pretty broken right now. She won't always be, but she will only heal in her own time, and what that means for your M, we don't yet know.

But for you - remember that you are a good man - and that is what really matters the most. Have a good day RD x

[StuartH]

Great to read how this can start to work. Good luck

[rd500]

H all. Thanks for the posts. They mean a lot and when I'm down its great to have you all in my corner.

Nothing much to report. W still calls / texts most days , we had a long chat on the phone on Monday as W called just after I had taken some bad news re business and she was the next call. She offered to listen but I told her it's not really her concern ( in a nice way ) and W said we spoke about this last week and we should be there for each other as we had no one else as close as we are. I tried to explain to W that she had new friends and I wouldn't want my personal or professional business discussed elsewhere. W said she knew I was talking about her friend and while she did spend time with him she was not in an R with him and would not share anything to do with her family. I explained that I was not talking about anyone in particular but I did not know her circle of friends and did not know who they knew and sometimes things could spread without any intent. W got upset and said she felt I couldn't trust her after what she had done I validated and said this was business and left it at that. W then said I made her feel sad because she wanted to be there for me. I explained that I was not trying to make her feel anyway and that this was about business We had a chat about a few other things and that was it. Couple of texts today and she's staying in the house tonight. Thanks again all. Take care. Rd

[Pink17]

Really hard when they want to be your best friend, your partner in family issues, business, etc.

I still wonder why it is so hard for them to understand that it is their choice to leave us and that means they are not part of our lives anymore?

I think you handled that as well as you could RD. Your wife is in a huge Denial right now. She may be tasting the bitter truth of her actions and the consequences of it.

Hope she wake up RD, for her own good and for her family. Why to insist in a miserable life as she is going through!

She does not know how luck she is that you give her space to share some things that happen in your life. Being patient with her and respecting her time, space and her position in the family.

Seems we are all a little bit low these days, maybe is the transition of seasons, maybe we are all getting a bit tired.

Hang in there RD. Hope you and the kids are enjoying some fun together.

Love,
Pink

[Sotto]

Hi RD, sorry to hear you've had a tough few days with your business. I hope things improve for you soon my friend.

I agree with Pink. It is funny when we are fired by our spouses. But then they want to be our confidantes still. I think you did well to draw a boundary around that. It reminded me of Rubicon's comment to his W (that got many acolades this week.) I don't know if you read it, but he said much along the lines of - things have changed now (since you fired me.) I'm not going to do that any more..

Take Care RD xx

[jim0987]

Evening RD,

For what its worth i just wanted to say well done on all of this. you show your wife a good strong family man while at the same time your are handling things like that business news in a courteous but distant way (in my reading of it anyway)

Whatever happens in your future i dont think anyone could say you could have done more (except for maybe a bit of RD centric GAL)

Take Care RD

[SunnyB]

Agree with the RD fan club here. You did a nice job validating but not getting sucked in. (Although I still don't know how you listen to her every day.) Keep it up.

[Ahoy]

Great to hear from you rd -- and you're doing so well keeping your boundaries in place. You're amazingly strong. I'm sorry you've been down and dealing with business stuff. I hope I can move forward with at least half the strength that you've demonstrated in this process!

[rd500]

Thanks to you all. The strength is on the outside W is still loved by me but I'm an expert at fake it until you feel it. I do find over time it gets easier to detach and only when triggered do I struggle

I have a few close friends that I confide in and my L/C and all of them are telling me to stand for my M because they all seem to think W is lost As I've Posted W does seem very lost but I'm not sure I have the patience to see what the outcome will be. For me W has made her choices in life and I have to accept them. We all think our sitchs are unique and I'm no different W left me with everything , she doesn't take cash even when it's offered , she does open up to me and tells me that I'm the one she confides in. I suppose I can only go on her actions and that's she living apart from me and spends time with OM.

don't know why the funk the last few days but it's life so I must deal with it.

Thanks again all Take care. Rd