Haven't been here in a while. Things are still going good with H. We have learned to communicate with each other in a way we both understand and that's helped tremendously. I still have moments of fear, doubt and anxiety, but they are not as frequent and pass quickly. We just celebrated our 18th anniversary last week. Neither of us had a lot of time to get away, so instead we spent one night in a hotel downtown with the most amazing view. We are both getting better with the love languages. We still struggle at times, but it's definitely better. H is still completely open and transparent. And working hard at earning my trust and proving it everyday. Things aren't all uniforms and rainbows, but the storm clouds moved on and we are just focused on one day at a time.
As for me, I'm still working through my trust issues and insecurities about H. My GAL is roller coaster-ish. Some weeks I'm crazy busy and others crazy bored. Things are starting to pick up with the new non-profit I was helping form. We have our first fundraiser this weekend, so that'll keep me on my toes. School starts next month and H leaves for Cali mid-month for 7 weeks. That makes me nervous, so I'm trying not to think about it much. His leaving brings up all my fears of going through this again. But H has been very vocal about it never happening again and really supportive of my need for reassurance in those moments. Him being 2500 miles away forces me into a trust situation, maybe that's good. Maybe that's what I need to take the leap fully. I know I can't control him or his actions. I can't prevent an A from happening if he makes that choice. All I can do is control me, continue to work on me and grow and show him through my actions he'd be a blooming fool to lose me.
I haven't had a chance to catch up with everyone's sitch, so I have a lot of reading to do. You've all been so supportive and helpful to me through this and I pray each and every one of you gets the outcome best for you, your family, health and happiness. You are all special people, fighters & survivors. Blessings to you all.
M: 43 H: 40 M: 18y S17,D13 D12 IC 11/2014 BD 4/16/15 H home 6/25/15 OW2 EA 6/26/15 MC started 7/22/15 Baby stepping....
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Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
