Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 6 of 11 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 10 11
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 18
M
New Member
Offline
New Member
M
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 18
Depression?? Are you saying that WW was depressed and that is why she is so cold?





Answered on Mars' thread - Cadet

Last edited by Cadet; 12/28/15 06:52 PM.
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 7
L
New Member
Offline
New Member
L
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 7
What if your spouse is friendly and wants to do things with you "as a friend," but "the relationship as man-and-wife" is "over"?



Good question, ciluzen. I have the same question. My husband asks me all kinds of questions about my day. I'm not sure how much to give him.

Last edited by Cadet; 10/18/16 09:15 AM. Reason: combine posts
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 38
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 38
I would agree on the bar scene. I've been separated for a month from my wife. I went to a bar once, and had my fortitude tested on the first night. Luckily I feel convicted in handling this separation properly and with integrity, but it felt nice to have a someone find you interesting and attractive, however that person was not my spouse and that is territory I will not entertain.


Me: 33
W: 32
Married: 4/2007
Trial Sep: 12/5/2015
S:5 y/o S:3 y/o
EA w/OM#1 confirmed and ended: 6/12/14
EA w/OM#2 Confirmed 1/7/2016 still continues
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
Likes: 1
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
Likes: 1
Quote:
What if your spouse is friendly and wants to do things with you "as a friend," but "the relationship as man-and-wife" is "over"?


Are you satisfied being just a friend and ready to put the idea of ever being man & wife behind you? If you are, then be her "friend". However, know up front that your idea of what kind of friendship you'll have....and her idea of friendship, will be completely mismatched. Anyone can be her friend. Only one person can be her spouse. You decide.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
Likes: 1
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
Likes: 1
Quote:
So, after reading the rules and trying to apply them, I still have a question about talking to my spouse. He has moved out and I am not texting or calling him, just answering and trying to be upbeat. He asks lots of questions about my day which, when I try to be brief, he asks more. I don't want to cut him off or be cold. Also, is it okay to ask him how he's doing since he is asking me? Is this still pursuing, and if so, is that so bad if one of his complaints is that he felt that I did 't love him, merely tolerated him?


I haven't read your sitch, so I don't know the details. Up front, I would say that you can answer his contacts and continue to be warm and friendly. Answer any questions and talk about your day, as though he were a neighbor. However, don't reveal too much about your private moments, your feelings/emotions, and especially GAL. I think you can do the same (to an extent), for sake of not appearing mad, cold/mean. Like I said, I don't know about your situation, so I am taking a little chance in saying it. During his call, when he asks about your day, give him an answer and then casually ask about his.....but don't get detailed and don't continue "digging". Don't try to keep him talking in order to hang on to his time or attention. That is the point behind it, is not to appear clingy and desperate.




Last edited by sandi2; 01/05/16 06:55 PM.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 19
N
New Member
Offline
New Member
N
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 19
Hi Sandi2!!!

Can you please look at my situation here and provide sound advice? Of course, when you have the time smile. Thank you so much!!!

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...nt=2&page=1

Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,091
J
J5K Offline
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,091
I have a WAW. On 11/30 she left me and our 5 boys and went back to her parent's to live. I filed on 12/8 but want to save the M for my family.

Edit
Originally Posted By: J5K
I have a WAW. On 11/30 she left me and our 5 boys and went back to her parent's to live. I filed on 12/8 but want to save the M for my family.

Please start your own thread

Last edited by Cadet; 02/15/17 06:37 AM. Reason: posts combined

H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6
S-9,8,8,6,4
S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15
EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16
PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16
XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16
Finally moving forward...
J5K #2640246 01/08/16 02:22 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
Likes: 78
C
Cadet Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
Likes: 78
Originally Posted By: JimKao
How do I do that?


How to start a thread

I will use what Job wrote

First click on Newcomers
Originally Posted By: job
Go to the top of the screen and there is a new topic box on the left hand side. Click on it and then you will open the window to create a new subject as well as a posting. It's the same way that you created this thread.


Plus How to link your threads

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2588047#Post2588047

Last edited by Cadet; 01/08/16 02:23 PM.

Me-70, D37,S36
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 410
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 410

Quick Question on this:

She is running fast towards Divorce...I am posting on the newcomer board.

But there are so many good articles on why not to divorce, the selfishness, how bad it is for the kids (they are not resilient!), etc..
I found a bunch of articles around why you shouldnt divorce

I was thinking about sending these to my W to read ...is that taboo?


_________________________
Me-48
Spouse-WAW 52
Married for 10 years
D7
ILYBNILWY 7/15
Suspect EA/PA 12/15 No confirmation/denial
She files 1/2016
Working towards the Big D ...still in progress....
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
Hi Rich, sending articles is definitely not recommended. She is not going to be receptive to any information from you just now - quite the opposite I'm afraid. Use what you read for your own benefit going forwards...

Take care smile


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Page 6 of 11 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard