Bugsy I lost the post i initially typed. In short i had a sicilian rage with my older cousin who lives 3 doors down from my mom. He has been complaining about my brother and I not calling his parents to my mom. We never had that kind of relationship with my uncles. Honestly i dont even have their phone numbers. My mom turned 85 two weeks ago. My uncle put a pic of her on FB and she looked so frail. Even though this has been an issue for about 3 years. I reacted 3 years later. I sent him some angry emails. That anger just surfaced. Wanted to get on a plane and kick his ass. The passive aggressiveness in my family is so prevalent.
So that is what was eating. I just cant stay angryvfor ever. Hug
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
When i feel someone is trying to hurt a love one I lose it. That is how i felt with exw and how she dealt with my daughter. She is 18. Dropped out in the 9th grade and doesnt do anything. I had that rage with ex.
Last week i felt depressed that i got soooooo angry with my cousin. so thatvis it.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I was also wondering if this has something to do with your plans to get married. To be honest - it comes across in your posts that you might not be all that thrilled. It's like you know you should feel excited, but you're not. Like you're doing it because it's the right thing.
Maybe that's just what I'm reading. I hope you are 100% happy & sure. If not - maybe time to think and think some more.
Barb much love your way. You are so good are reading into things. I am excited but scared at the same time. You really define how I feel. 2nd marriages last even last than 1st M. This would be my 3rd. So i wonder knowing that 80% of 3rd M will end in D why am I bothering?. And her being scared also worries me.
The big one. And i didnt come here to lie. I came here to grow and get support. Is that getting M would trully put the nail on the coffin from my previous M.
That is my internal conflict.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Rick: Big Kudos to you for your honesty and introspect. SO… How is important to get married? I'm sure - if you've read my posts for the past few years or so - that you know how important it was to me… But not so much for Josh… Why? I'm not so sure. Maybe because he watched me suffer through the finalities of getting my divorce. I think it scared the Hell out of him. Because, being honest - mine was a bloody battle. And the scars remain. So - we live together. Most of the time. And we are GOOD! You see - marriage does not come with a guarantee. We are all evidence of that. We all thought we were in it for keeps. I wish you the best, my friend. Be true to yourself.
Yes, I agree with Barb, I didn't get a lot of positive vibes from you about the impending I do.
Slow down.
This is something I use at work, you may have seen it or even used it just in a different setting. It helps people learn to weigh R/Bs.
Benefits-easy, What are the benefits? Risks-again, list the risks as YOU see them Alternatives-Are there alternatives? Nothing-What might happen if you do nothing?
How much anger are you carrying at yourself?
Now-Does it have to be done now?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
