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#2546595 03/11/15 03:33 PM
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Card29 Offline OP
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New thread. Titled it Journey for three reasons.

1. Reminder to don't miss out on the journey you and I are going through. The last three years have been the best and worst years of my life. Lost my dad and my wife, but gained a daughter and more knowledge about my self than the previous 27 years combined. If I'd numbed the pain or ran from it, maybe I could have lessened the suffering but I also would have missed out on the joy. Probably would have prolonged a milder misery, though, for a long time. I've seen those people in my life and have known from the beginning I didn't want that to be me.

2.) I just finished a personal record of a solo road trip.

3.) I've been listening to Journey lately - I have a Journey kick about once a year for 2-3 days. I think I'm reaching the end of this run, though...

From the end of my previous thread, rppfl:

Originally Posted By: rppfl
TO is in South Florida as well, but I'm not sure where. I've made it pretty obvious I'm in Miami. Although there are approximately 2 million other people here, too. Anyway, maybe we saw each other and just didn't know it, Card.


I'm sure we did! Your city is amazing. I had one of those moments of pure joy, where it felt like I was floating, when I walked onto the boardwalk at 41st street. I'd been driving for most of the previous 24 hours. I'd just seen the reports of how much snow Lousiville got, and that 200 semis were stuck on the interstate that I'd driven on the previous day. I felt so lucky, the trip felt so perfectly time, almost destined. It was 88 degrees, about 70 degrees warmer than Louisville. And that was also the moment I realized that the turquoise water you see from pictures of Miami is not photoshopped like many other Florida beaches. I was dressed in my running clothes, head phones in, and I started jogging down the boardwalk. Then I jogged a little on the beach, which was practically empty. It was just perfect. So good, in fact, that I sent myself a diary e-mail later just to capture the details.

Last edited by Card29; 03/11/15 03:34 PM.

Me 38, WAW 30
D11 (former marriage)
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T 8 years
M 3 years
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S 8/20/23
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I'm actually in a small beach town below Jacksonville smile one way in and one way out up until recently. Now there is tons of expansion going on... Not to mention bike week right now. Miami is about 2.5 hours from us

Card - glad to hear you're doing well


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Card29 Offline OP
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I hate to see small beach towns turned into metropolises. We already have enough of those. I hope they outlaw highrises in the Keys.

Have you lived in that town your whole life?


Me 38, WAW 30
D11 (former marriage)
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I know! Actually no - I grew up in a small suburb outside of Orlando. When my parents divorced my brother wanted to stay with my mom to not switch high schools. I didn't want my dad to live alone so I finished out my senior year in the new school. I ended up meeting H shortly after and we bought a home here so I've been here since I was 17. I love it. I commute to Orlando which is a little over an hour (with no traffic). It's not ideal but I couldn't imagine not living here.

We have a main road that you enter from that was all trees that they have now made four lanes and are now filling it with car dealerships, walmart, Home Depot, etc. I Hate it. They just allowed the first chain hotel on the beach so I know it's all downhill from there. Beachside has no chain restaurants or fast food places. It's all local places. People were/are pretty upset about that. I guess the only upside is at least my house will go up in value lol


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Card29 Offline OP
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It definitely will. My in-laws had a lagoon-front property in Gulf Shores for decades. They loved it, friends and family used it year round. They never had too much incentive to sell it. Gulf Shores began exploding in the late 90's, though. Now it's pretty much Destin-west. Couple dozen high-rise hotels, chain restaurants on every corner. Some of the old places are still there, but they're not the same now that a 40-story hotel is casting a shadow on it. Anyway, the bright side for my in-laws is that their house value quadrupled and they made a bunch of money. But if you ask me, it wasn't worth it. There have been almost no family gatherings since they sold it three years ago. They all live all over the country in relatively boring places, and no one seems to want to convene at any of those locations.

I'm sure your town still has its charm! I still like Gulf Shores even after it was corporatized. You still live next to the beach, after all!


Me 38, WAW 30
D11 (former marriage)
S2
T 8 years
M 3 years
BD 8/20/23
S 8/20/23
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Card29 Offline OP
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WAW news - I spoke with her lawyer today. I'm about to sign the waiver that says I acknowledge that she filed, that I don't need to be served. I asked her what she expects the timeline to be for us. She said since we have a minor, even though we're getting along, there is a minimum 60-day wait period of some kind, even though we're getting along. I've heard the 60-day thing mentioned here, but I don't know much about it. Is there mandatory counseling or something involved?

WAW has been texting me late at night the last couple of nights, just things a friend would text a friend. Things I'm fine with. She's had trouble sleeping, so she's been watching The Office late at night, which we used to watch together. She has been quizzing me on the episodes she's watching. I woke up this morning to a text she sent earlier, at 3 am. I asked if she was okay, because it was so abnormal for her sleep habits to be like that. She said she had a flight to catch early this morning and was just paranoid that she was going to sleep too late.


Me 38, WAW 30
D11 (former marriage)
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T 8 years
M 3 years
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S 8/20/23
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I am probably the odd one out here and can be a bit of a B. I totally get you wanting to have a R with WAW for your daughter BUT stop fulfilling her needs of your friendship. You can have a great relationship and not be responding to texts on a nightly basis, that aren't about your daighter, especially at 3am. She needs to live her life without you.

Personally, and I am not a vet, I would not be engaging in friendly texts back and forth. I get that you're ready to move forward so maybe my advice is wrong. I just see it as feeding into her.

Sorry Card - I know I'm always on you about pursuing her. Are your responses indifferent or would she think you are hanging on her every word.

Aren't you busy out GAL and you don't check your phone that often wink


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Sent my notarized waiver of summons, or whatever, back to her L. Basically saying I don't need to be served D papers, that I'm aware she's filing.

I'm debating whether I should consult with a L once the final paperwork is drafted. We have nothing left to squabble over. As long as she doesn't try to fool me and rip me off somehow, neither of us are contending what the other is saying.

Board thoughts? Of course I want to make sure I get all of the time and rights over D2 that we're verybally agreeing to, but I'd also like to save $500 or whatever if it's not that big of a risk. I really don't think WAW would try to screw me over. She just doesn't want to be M to me - she doesn't hate me, never has, and loves me as a dad. Maybe that's naive thinking, though, and I just need to spend the money to be sure. We'll see how it feels when it gets to that point.


Me 38, WAW 30
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M 3 years
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Be prepared for the worst. Hope for the best but divorce usually brings our the worst in people. It's just a hard process. It's the end of dreams, families, aspirations, emotions, a lot of stuff gets stirred up.

I cant tell you how many times I have heard folks say "My wife/husband would never do that" and they do. All the time.

Did you expect your wife to have a PA? No, but she did.

Voice of doom I know but protect yourself.


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Card - Your W may very well have no intention of hurting you. But in this case you are not only trusting her - you are trusting the competence of her lawyer who might make errors that have a negative effect on you. Get a second opinion from your lawyer.

I handled most of the formalities but his lawyer made lots of mistakes (most of which were actually in my favor) and I had to make sure things like who gets to claim the kids on the taxes were covered.

I still had a lawyer review.

Its $500 well spent. Not the place to pinch pennies.

Last edited by raliced; 03/13/15 06:46 PM.

2 Ds: 7 and 4
BD and Sep: 7/14
Divorce Final 2/16
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