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A Message from Michele
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Re: Life 2.0 Pt 6 [Re: NH115] #2544953
03/05/15 07:18 PM
03/05/15 07:18 PM
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 788
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NH115 Offline OP
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NH115  Offline OP
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Been trying to post to other's threads. It's time I gave more back, considering how much help I've gotten here. It's also helpful to me to read other's sitches. I'm in very good shape in my sitch compared to many others. Perspective helps.

Still driving on; we're getting along OK, of course I can still feel that big hole where true warmth and affection used to reside.

Last night she stayed at the hotel where she works; that's not unusual when the roads are icy. It actually crossed my mind to check to see if OM was in town early. He's not in until next week. I hate that I even had to think about it. I know she behaved herself; I ended up spending part of the evening with her and then brought D10 to spend the night, since school was cancelled today.


Ex Rzrback
Me 43 Her 44
D11, D15
T21, M19
BD 9/9/2014
Piecing

Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood

Re: Life 2.0 Pt 6 [Re: NH115] #2544965
03/05/15 07:48 PM
03/05/15 07:48 PM
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 788
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NH115 Offline OP
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I'm getting nervous about OM coming into town. She hasn't told me that he's coming in yet. I won't say anything to her until after he leaves.

I'm trying to be very patient, but it really bothers me that she has shown little to no remorse for her A, limited as it was. As she said during MC "nobody knows what I've been through" (meaning what I've done to her) and "guilt is wasted energy"

Geez

Last edited by Rzrback; 03/05/15 07:51 PM.

Ex Rzrback
Me 43 Her 44
D11, D15
T21, M19
BD 9/9/2014
Piecing

Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood

Re: Life 2.0 Pt 6 [Re: NH115] #2544967
03/05/15 07:53 PM
03/05/15 07:53 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 24
N.O., LA
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LovinUs Offline
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N.O., LA
Hello Rzr, I am poking around, reading and learning. It sounds like you are handling your sitch as well as possible. I hope your W has turned the corner and will resist OM when he is in town.


Me: 53, Wife: 49
Separated November 24, 2014
I think we are piecing. She wants to stay married/committed & LAT (Living Apart, Together)
Re: Life 2.0 Pt 6 [Re: NH115] #2544987
03/05/15 08:56 PM
03/05/15 08:56 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
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Wonka Offline
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Rzr,

Originally Posted By: Rzrback

I'm trying to be very patient, but it really bothers me that she has shown little to no remorse for her A, limited as it was. As she said during MC "nobody knows what I've been through" (meaning what I've done to her) and "guilt is wasted energy"

Geez


I do not think W is quite at that level yet as she is still working through her internal unhappiness and figuring out the "why's." In a way, I do sense that W is deflecting some of the guilt away from her. Give this process some time.

Re: Life 2.0 Pt 6 [Re: Wonka] #2545022
03/05/15 10:13 PM
03/05/15 10:13 PM
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 788
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NH115 Offline OP
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Yeah yeah yeah, patience! How long will that take?! grin

Thanks, Wonka, I just have to remind myself that she's on a journey too. I see more of my old W all the time, just in bits and pieces.


Ex Rzrback
Me 43 Her 44
D11, D15
T21, M19
BD 9/9/2014
Piecing

Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood

Re: Life 2.0 Pt 6 [Re: NH115] #2545668
03/08/15 11:57 AM
03/08/15 11:57 AM
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Posts: 788
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NH115 Offline OP
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Posts: 788
A brief synopsis of my weekend:

W calls me out of the blue Friday morning, just to chat about a link she sent me about dogs (our dogs are definitely a common interest for us). We ended up having a nice conversation via voice and then text. Nothing deep. It's just been a long time since she called me just because she wanted to. I went about my day.

Came home from work, had a pleasant evening until we started to do our homework for MC. We're working through a book on affairs. She got so angry at being referred to as the "unfaithful partner" that she threw the papers. Those reality hits are hard I guess. Our R talk that night got intense enough that we had to call a time out.

2:30 that next morning she wakes me up for an intense ML session; the first in weeks. She emotionally crashed after that.

The weekend otherwise got back on an even keel and has been pretty pleasant; we've been preoccupied with D10s swim meet. We're going to get back and look at the homework again tonight. She feels silly for having thrown the papers like that.

Oh, and she told me that OM was coming into town this week.

Six Flags doesn't have anything on this roller coaster cool


Ex Rzrback
Me 43 Her 44
D11, D15
T21, M19
BD 9/9/2014
Piecing

Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood

Re: Life 2.0 Pt 6 [Re: NH115] #2545692
03/08/15 03:14 PM
03/08/15 03:14 PM
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Quote:
Oh, and she told me that OM was coming into town this week.


Now that could be a good sign. Did she tell you before he came the last time?



It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Re: Life 2.0 Pt 6 [Re: sandi2] #2545713
03/08/15 04:17 PM
03/08/15 04:17 PM
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 788
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NH115 Offline OP
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Yeah, she's been pretty transparent about things like that. He calls on my company when he comes into town, so I usually know before she does. What I find positive is it doesn't seem to stress her out the way it did before


Ex Rzrback
Me 43 Her 44
D11, D15
T21, M19
BD 9/9/2014
Piecing

Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood

Re: Life 2.0 Pt 6 [Re: NH115] #2545737
03/08/15 06:01 PM
03/08/15 06:01 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Rzr, I'm enjoying reading your sitch at the moment and I'm really pleased to see the progress you and W are making. I think it's good she told you about OM coming into town. It is a shift in dynamic from previous OM visits where she and he may have been planning things and you didn't know.

Now she is telling you up front that he will be around. Sounds good to me.


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Re: Life 2.0 Pt 6 [Re: Sotto] #2545747
03/08/15 06:39 PM
03/08/15 06:39 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
New England
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Little Offline
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New England
*hug* Here, watching, listening.


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
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