This is all very hard. Be patient, review all of the threads about detaching, WAW, LBH, and listen to Sandi! She has some great advice for LBHs and what the WAW is thinking. Stay strong and keep reading the threads.
Me-35 W-34 Married 6/2011 T-6 years S-2 BD-3/22/2015
Sandi, I responded with ALL THAT prior to being given any advice on here. It wasn't til the next day that I read the responses and re-read her text. The damage has been done and I'm not going to dwell on it.
W has sent me a few emails and texts since then. I've only been answering the important Q's that deal with the kids. Never responded to her email this morning. I can tell that backing off is working though. She has been initiating a lot of emails and texts lately. She has only been in her new place for a few weeks and I'm sure is lonely.
Going forward... going to not try and make any more serious mistakes.
As for 180's lately... I had a pretty big one. I quit dipping (smokeless tobacco) 48 hours ago. It's a pretty disgusting habit that I've had since playing Legion Baseball in H.S.. I work in the oilfields and most people here dip. Honestly... it feels like I'm DBing myself right now just to take my mind off dipping. I've never smoked, so I can't compare it to quitting smoking, but it is tough. I'm doing this for me... and this is a pretty big 180. Supposedly, after 72 hours the nicotine is gone from your system. Just like DBing, I'll have to take this one day at a time.
M: 8 years, together 9 M: 41 W: 32 D 4, S 6 ILYBINILWY 2/10/15 2/14/15-2/22/15 Left home 4/5/15 Suspect A, Initiated Sandi's advice from WW thread 4/19/15 W asked for D
Sandi, I responded with ALL THAT prior to being given any advice on here. It wasn't til the next day that I read the responses and re-read her text. Going forward... going to not try and make any more serious mistakes.
Just like DBing, I'll have to take this one day at a time.
Hi SadDood,
Exactly. You could have taken a bit of time to wait for responses from the Board, but you sent a quick response. There was nothing urgent in the text that required an immediate reply. Patience.
I like your attitude to try and learn from your mistakes. And taking this one day at a time is always a proper attitude, no matter the battle that is in front of you.
I am really busy, but I am making a brief appearance, just to lend support and to let you know that every single individual on this board has made mistakes. It is whether you learn from them and what you do in response that really matters.
It is good you are not dwelling on the letter. You can't take it back. Just keep on learning and growing. knowledge is power. Learn from the vets.
I haven't posted in awhile, but wanted to update. The water balloon fight party was a big success! W came and all of our mutual friends came. We made it so that it wasn't awkward for everyone (as much as we could). She hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. All the kids had an absolute blast and the weather was beautiful. I had never planned anything like that before and was proud of my efforts. I Traeger'd up 3 racks of ribs and they were my best yet. I've been busy GALing and finding it much easier.
W texted me last week and said she would like to meet for lunch to discuss dissolution. I declined and said we can just talk about it over the phone. Initially, I had said I would work on it. I told her if she was in a rush, she could go ahead and work on it. Not sure if she has. MIL called me after and said that W was upset because I wouldn't see her for lunch. W said she told W that she needs to phrase things differently and that if she wants to see me for lunch, to not use divorce as the reason. MIL also told me that W just wanted to see me.
On a positive note, W is finding reasons to text me and we have made eachother laugh via text.
I have had a solid few weeks detaching. I'm not constantly dwelling like I was in the beginning. I'm not sure if fully detaching is even possible.
I'm looking for the small improvements and there are some, but nothing worth mentioning. Status Quo right now and that's fine.
M: 8 years, together 9 M: 41 W: 32 D 4, S 6 ILYBINILWY 2/10/15 2/14/15-2/22/15 Left home 4/5/15 Suspect A, Initiated Sandi's advice from WW thread 4/19/15 W asked for D
Zew, are you still around? I was following your "living with a WAW who hasn't walked yet" threads. Very inspiring stuff, you showed such strength. Just wondering if you had an update for us? Did you and your W end up D'ing? Wishing you the best - God Bless!
Sorry for the hijack...
Me: 34 W: 30 Together: 11 years Married: 4 years BD: 4/2014 A Discovered: 5/2014 WW Filed: 7/2014 Separated: 8/2014 Divorced: 10/2015
