Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 11 1 2 3 10 11
#2532029 01/28/15 10:10 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
O
Ontheup Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
O
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374


Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
O
Ontheup Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
O
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
She has also been best mates with me again this evening. Initiating conversation about nothing in particular.


Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
O
Ontheup Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
O
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
ooh we have snow this morning. My d* was very excited. took her willies to school...bless


Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
O
Ontheup Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
O
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
Lol I've just read what I've wrote. Willies hahahah

I meant wellies smile

Last edited by SRD; 01/29/15 09:28 AM.

Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
O
Ontheup Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
O
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
No change really except I have filled in the paper work and pain initial fee for a rented house. Hoping it goes through in which case I will be gone in a few weeks. I haven't told my wife yet. She had been to our mutual friends tonight (apparently) came home chatty and being my friend again. Doing ok at the moment. Civil and friendly like a neighbour nothing more. At the moment I'm resigned to the fact that I don't want to be with this person any more. I feel it's just my pride and our daughter which gives me the moments of guilt and desperation. I look at her and don't regonise her. I'll need to discuss finance and child care in next few days. I hoping she doesn't start being the super bitch she can be and sees I'm leaving here with pretty much nothing for now but will at some point need some compensation.


Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
O
Ontheup Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
O
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
Ahh

Just had the most boring 2 hour meeting. Whole time I was sat there just feeling angry. Things just stewing over in my mind. I felt ok this morning. actually slept reasonably well. But as the day has gone on my emotions are runing high.


Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
Hi SRD - good luck with the rental. Hope it all goes through ok for you. You may want to post here what and how you tell your W - plus any practical arrangements....others may have done things that might be helpful to think about before you speak to your W - and your D.

Sorry your emotions are running high....just try and stay cool. You are taking control of what you can here.


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
O
Ontheup Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
O
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
Ok
someone give me a 2x4..........ive blown all the rules tonight

All started when wife was asking where 2 bottles of proseco are. Now I ditched them on DDay as I found out OM had bought her one so in my rage I threw them all away.
so I said why and she was annoyed. Also asked if I had been in her fb account which I had. Seeing if she defriended my dad. So now she's really annoyed.
So we were both blaming each other and not taking any responsibility for the mess we're in. after a bit we calmed down and actually talked.
She is still really annoyed about me cheating on her 3 years ago. recons this is where it all began which isn't true. we were already in trouble. she was saying she thought I was one of the good guys and all men are bastards. I said I was sorry I let her down but ditto basically she has also let me down. She recons if I hadn't told her that she would feel different but now she feels vindicated in her decision to separate. I said that was Bull as she is seeing OM. whatever she said I could respond with that it is the same for both of us. She also said she was very sorry as well and for the 1st time she actually showed some remorse. We went over and over about us not really getting anywhere. I reiterated that I didn't want any of this either but that she had asked me to leave as she needs "space" and I said I would. I told her I understand that she is also just as upset as me and it hurts her just like me but that I cant keep waiting around in hope this will be fixed. I have to move on. I told her about my plan to move to this other house which again she was annoyed about. Saying why didn't I tell her. I said its the same for me, she hasn't mentioned a thing either about OM or her plans. she said she hasn't really spoken to him and hasn't seen him. we just went round in circles both upset getting nowhere. She wants me to stay around the corner really so we can be best friends for our D8. I said I cant do that, too many memories and I need to move on as does she. I did come across as needy which annoys me now. She still getting her cake an eat it. She is clear that her plan B for now is still here. It was obvious I still want to resolve this. In the end we were both resigned that I am moving out. she is still confused and isn't sure. I'm still no wiser about OM although it does seem he has little to do with it but while she is in contact with him it wont stop.
We were both really upset. both very unsure about what we need to do both very annoyed at each other. we did have a big long hug which is the first time in 6 months. both in tears.
has she just played me for a sucker. She now knows where i'm at. Basically back at square one!!!


Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
Likes: 1
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
Likes: 1
Sometimes a 2x4 does no good. Bottom line is that you have to be self-disciplined enough to control yourself. Until you do, we can hit you up beside the head all day long and it won't do any good.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 561
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 561
Phew.
Sounds similar to my night yesterday. Back to start DBing from scratch.
Although it didn't resolve your limbo at all. Limbo was killing me for so long.
But now I don't feel any better, even worse. At least for now. Divorce is on the table..it's getting real smirk

Stay strong please. We can't get off course. Only let love talk, not anger, no grief. If you can't control yourself just leave. Tell her "I can't have a conversation with you when we are heated up, it's nothing personal but I want to do this right, so please respect that, let's calm down and talk later or tomorrow".

But like Mozza always tells me, things usually get much worse before they get better.


Me 32 (German) Wife 28
T 3yrs M 2yrs
Moved to US for W
No kids
BD 6/2014
In house separation
Confirmed EA 1/2015
(ongoing since BD)
OM not ready
Real D talk started 1/27/15


Page 1 of 11 1 2 3 10 11

Moderated by  Virginia 

Link Copied to Clipboard