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Barry Offline OP
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My DB book came today. It's too late, W text'd me today saying that there's no way we are ever going to be together again, and that no amount of time seperated or any changes we make are going to help.

It's over.

frown


Me 40 W 38
T 23 M 21
S21 S19 D16 S14
BD 19/12/2014
D mentioned 27/2/2015.
I filed 08/04/2015, D Absolute 04/11/2015
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A popular saying around here- “Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.”



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Originally Posted By: Barry
My DB book came today. It's too late, W text'd me today saying that there's no way we are ever going to be together again, and that no amount of time seperated or any changes we make are going to help.

It's over.

frown

Excellent: you got a final answer. You're lucky you got such clarity so early because most of us get a "We'll get back together if you are consistent with your changes." or "I want to be separated for 8.5 months, pretend it's over and then we'll get back together." and then we go on for months not knowing if they told us the truth, if they could really predict the future. But in your case, she knows the future, she never changes her mind, so let's move on. Hopefully, you can return the book. It was nice having you around and good luck!

Next!


M39 D6 D3 (at S)
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D 2016-09

"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
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Hi mate. Sorry you had to hear that but as the book will tell you, what you have heard is not un common. Read the book and I hope it's gives you some guidance. There is always hope. Don't react , give yourself time to think. M m


Take care. Rd

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Barry Offline OP
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I don't really know how to take your post Mozza?


Me 40 W 38
T 23 M 21
S21 S19 D16 S14
BD 19/12/2014
D mentioned 27/2/2015.
I filed 08/04/2015, D Absolute 04/11/2015
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How's your wife' statement different from that of any other sitch here?


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Barry,
You can choose to believe it's not over and continue to fight. I've read of couples piecing after D was filed. If that is your choice, you will have to fully commit to what you will learn here.

Also, you can choose to accept what she texted.

Fortuitously, both options will require you to do the exact same thing. LET HER GO. Live for you and only then you will have the tools necessary to either piece your M back together or move on to someone else. Read the advices on this board and put them in your tool box.

I don't know what advice the vets will give you. My advice to you is to immediately cease contact. You just received your pink slip as a H. If you can't seem happy around her about being fired, fake it. Look as if you've moved on. It will be hard, but it will do you wonders for your self-esteem. As men, it means a lot to us to be wanted so its important to detach from her and seek something else to replace that need.

She only be attracted to you if you look attractive.

Good luck and good hunting.


Me:28 W:24
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Hi Barry - sorry you had to hear that from your W. As you'll read in the book, WAS's tend to talk in 'absolutes' - much as your W is doing - This is it for us. We'll never get back together etc. The ultimate outcome may be quite different - you just don't know that yet.

It's early days yet and read the book. It will help you understand this further. Also, the book may help you develop a more optimistic approach. On this forum, you sometimes present an air of hopelessness - an area you could work on for sure. This may be what Mozza is referring to in his posts above (sorry if that's not the case Mozza.)

Hang on in there and keep posting....I want to see determined, optimistic Barry....


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
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We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Barry...just soak it in for now. Things change...let it be for a bit. Keep reading. Yes No More Mister Nice Guys is a great read and is cheap. Ebook available


me: 47, W:49
M 16.5 years
T 17 years
Three kids - D17,D14, S13
Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13
Bomb drop 11/29/13
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Barry Offline OP
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Thanks for your responses all.

Mozza, I wasn't trying to say that my sitch is somehow special, different, or more important than anyone else's here? I'm sorry if my post sounded hopeless, but my W is so stubborn, I really don't think she'll change her mind. She'll see it as a form of weakness that she "backed down" after telling anyone who would listen that we're splitting up. It may not be hopeless, but it sure seems that way.

I'll read the book, it's paid for now, maybe there will be something in it for me. Will look at getting NMMNG too.

Barry.


Me 40 W 38
T 23 M 21
S21 S19 D16 S14
BD 19/12/2014
D mentioned 27/2/2015.
I filed 08/04/2015, D Absolute 04/11/2015
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