Card29 X - Let It Be

[Card29]

It feels great uR! It's a shame I won't get to meet you and others in person someday, just to say thanks for being there in what was by far the hardest part of my life to this point, 100x's harder than when my dad died. Of course I had people IRL that were critical for me, but most of the best advice and the support in my darkest moments came from people here.

[Card29]

So today was a little interesting. I was at WAW's apt for a while during a D2 pickup. Found out she went on a couple of dates with a different OM in January but she says she called them off. We talked about me getting off of her insurance, and she said she has talked to a lawyer. She gave me the impression that she wants to go the D route because she doesn't know what else to do. I found out she's smoking weed in addition to her new pot brownie interest. She said, "I guess I'm trying to get used to life being like this now." I asked her what "this" meant. She was unclear, but I understood it to mean her being an adulterer and having to live like that for the rest of her life. I did or said nothing to bring that on or aggravate it.

Also, we kissed. Actually, I kissed her, and she was receptive. I just didn't want my last kiss with her to be when she was dating the guy that helped rip apart my family. (we kissed in July before she moved out). At least right now we're both single, although there's no way for me to know that 100%. I told her why I kissed her and she said, "That's a good reason." No expectations from that, and not planning on making any more moves like that.

[Card29]

I have an apartment lined up. Moving in the week of March 9.

[Mozza]

A kiss?! Again, your sitch never fails to deliver. Still, we miss your wise words around these boards. As a detached LBH that's still in the game, you have something to contribute.

[uRworthy]

Hey Freddy. You never know what will happen. There are a lot of us who have met up to hang out.

So, you kissed her? You crack me up the way you just go for stuff sometimes.

Hey, as long as you are good with it, its all good. No expectations, right?

Congrats on the apartment.

Yea, it sounds like she feels like she has to go through with the divorce. Many of them are like that. Its because they leave and they still arent happy, so, now they have to try the next thing and then they'll be happy...NOT!

I kind of got the feeling she meant that she has to get used to living her life single and not as a family. I could be wrong, though.

And you do have a lot to contribute here, Fred.

[gan]

You crack me up the way you just go for stuff sometimes.

So true. I wish I had half the balls you do, Card!

[Card29]

I promise I'm not deserting DB. I've just been a little preoccupied lately.

Definitely no expectations from the kiss! It actually went just as I hoped. A delightful 10 seconds, and now, if that's really it, at least our physical relationship ended on my terms.

I found out she smoked a cigarette, too. I was pretty pissed to hear that. Weed, okay, whatever. But why in the hell would a 30 year old, a vegetarian who only buys organic produce, just decide to pick up smoking? Yes, it was only one cigarette, and she was really drunk. But given the rest of her trends, I suspect it won't be the last time she tries it. Try it a few times and you start to like it, then who knows. Best case she becomes a "I only smoke when I drink" person. I'm sure I'm overreacting, but I don't want that for her, and I definitely don't want D2 to have a smoking mom. I've thoroughly voiced my concern on that.

She definitely seems lost. I think a part of her doesn't want to get a divorce but she just doesn't have any faith that things could be different. Maybe she will give herself a chance to try to be happy on her own. I told her I'm not filing or paying any of the fees associated with it. She accepted that. I told her that I'm still willing to try, but that I wasn't going to stand in her way. I told that I might still be willing to down the line, if I'm not seeing anyone (DB mistake?).

[Ss06]

Holy goodness, Card! A kiss? Whoa!

The cigarette thing might be part of the script... not to belittle it at all though.

I discovered that my stbx bought a PIPE. Yep. A PIPE. He's 36 and asthmatic but whatev.

Anyway, you sound strong and solid. Don't look now but you're doing it!

[uRworthy]

I would have stopped after the you're not filing or paying. The rest, kind of invalidates her feelings, ya know?

[Ss06]

I would have stopped after the you're not filing or paying. The rest, kind of invalidates her feelings, ya know?

And this ^^^^ my friend, Card, is why uR is such a good vet to have in your corner.