Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 7 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
Barb, I do know that the lines do blur and the employed start to resent the employer. I dated a caregiver and she was taken advantage of big time...and still is from what I know. Now, please don't think I'm saying you took advantage big time but when people work in your home you begin to see them as family to some degree. The employee-employer relationship blurs. As Summer said, it's best to keep those lines clearly defined. The last employer my ex-gf worked for wanted her to have dinner with them every evening which meant her workday would end at 8 pm or so and started at 7 pm. They thought they were being nice and being a "family" without realizing that their relaxing time was still her work time. This is just an example and does not necessarily reflect your sitch but my point is that it's so easy to fall into the friends and family category with people who work in your home. You become intimate, they feel like family! So yes, step back and look at what their responsibilities are and what your expectations are and go from there. Hope I made some sense smile Have a great trip!


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
whatisis #2523214 01/04/15 03:19 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
...that should read that her work day started at 7 a.m. not p.m. or that would be an awesome job lol.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
whatisis #2523224 01/04/15 04:03 PM
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,710
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,710
Thanks Wii,

And you are right. I always tried to keep the lines defined but J was (is) a horse of a different colour. She was doing it to compete with L. But L is not here now.

Hows the weather in Toronto? I'll be there in a few.

Summer - the one thing I never made clear was that when L came in at 3 or 4 AM - she was showering and keeping J awake. J did talk to her about it but she did it again for 2 more nights (then went home). J also reported it to the agency. It was what all started this Merry Little Roller Coaster.

But I'm off. T is working today. She is just a joy. Always smiling, whistling, reading to Ryan. It is bad weather so they're staying in. That's a good thing!

Barb

Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,156
Likes: 35
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,156
Likes: 35
Barb,
Travel safely and do try to enjoy your time away. Everything will work out okay in time. Maybe the time away will give everyone a chance to decompress and hopefully a "fresh" beginning for the new year.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2523247 01/04/15 05:09 PM
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,710
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,710
Thanks Job,

I think you are right. The less said right now, the better. Although I think some discipline is in order - I'm going to let it go for now.

and have PEACE

Barb

Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 585
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 585
Oh, that explains it! I was confused as to how L just leaving the room would so disturb J. Now it makes sense!

I'm so glad you're off for blissful, warm Florida -- a place you love and where you can relax.

I truly believe it will all settle down soon -- and now that you're going to have them stick to just their exact jobs -- it really should return things to normal and run smoothly.

Have a WONDERFUL time!

SUMMER #2523272 01/04/15 06:35 PM
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,710
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,710
Thanks Summer! I'm sure this horrible, anxious feeling will disappear when I step into the condo and return to my "Happy Place" once more.

Can't wait.

Barb

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 6,756
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 6,756
Barb--LOL, you knew I'd know exactly what this was about. I do!

I hope your distance and time away gives you some ideas on how you want this to play out. It always does for me. For some reason, getting on a plane forces me to consider other options.

Have a great time, and enjoy some sun and no snow!

Bets


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,478
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,478
Old news, but two thoughts...

----
"Then J woke me at 2 AM one night to say that L had gone out at 11 and not returned. She went and checked the nearby hot tub but when she did not find her - I called Security. They found her at another hot tub - about a 10 min walk away."

Just sayin' -- J's action wholly inappropriate here. You are neither worker's chaperone or parent. Not sure why she felt compelled to awaken you about some possible future contingent sleep interruption when L might or might not be noisy upon her return...
-----

When favors are assumed it takes away a person's chance to be generous. And it is surprisingly painful to be robbed of the chance to be generous.


Best,
Oldtimer
oldtimer #2523713 01/05/15 09:25 PM
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,710
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,710
Bets,

Just arrived & truly, the stress is starting to diminish. It has been almost painful for the last few days.

Got off the plane & had text from J that Ru has a cold & she is keeping him in. Good plan. Told her that & sent him a hug. It is her first day back since the fiasco.

Agency are training another work & seem to be "on it". I'm still not sure how much I will say or won't say to them. Thinking...

Barb

Page 3 of 7 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard