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A Message from Michele
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Ganb8te 3 - conquering crow pose #2516905
12/13/14 07:54 AM
12/13/14 07:54 AM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
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gan Offline OP
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gan  Offline OP
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Yoga has been one of my go to GAL activities since BD. I've done it on and off for years but never with a studio, always a gym or class arranged at work. I'm loving my new studio. Last weekend was the Christmas party and they had a DJ in to mix the music. It was so fun! Best of all, I can see my practice getting better. I used to look at photos of people doing crazy poses and think I could never do that. Lately though, I've been looking at them and thinking wow...I'm working my way up to that!

As a start, I hereby pledge that I will conquer crow pose by the time this thread locks.

Last thread here

Thanks once again to everyone who shares their story here and to everyone who stops by to read mine. You've helped me out of some dark places and for that I am eternally grateful.

Namaste.


Last edited by ganb8te; 12/13/14 08:01 AM.

H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Re: Ganb8te 3 - conquering crow pose [Re: gan] #2516906
12/13/14 08:16 AM
12/13/14 08:16 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,118
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Ggrass Offline
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Ggrass  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,118
Well the first thought I had is often threads sound like crows on a fence!

Lol wink gets noisy at times. Not sure about light place when crows flyin tho.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Re: Ganb8te 3 - conquering crow pose [Re: Ggrass] #2517311
12/15/14 03:01 AM
12/15/14 03:01 AM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
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gan Offline OP
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gan  Offline OP
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At the end of my last thread I explained that I intended not to initiate contact till after the new year. Does a siege constitute a valid reason? There's a hostage crisis unfolding downtown right now - near where my H works. I don't want to text him and have him not reply, only to put me and my family in more of a panic.

"Please just tell me you are not near X" Would that be ok? Surely he has enough sense to reply to that.

Stoopid world we live in. For many reasons.


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Re: Ganb8te 3 - conquering crow pose [Re: gan] #2517326
12/15/14 03:51 AM
12/15/14 03:51 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 667
K
KGirl Offline
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 667
I just saw this situation in my newsfeed. This seems like a gray area, especially given you don't have kids - not really a right or wrong answer. Maybe a "Saw the hostage situation oh the news - are you OK?" Something about "please just tell me" sounds a bit antagonistic, like he won't respond to any other inquiries.


Me:30 H:29, no kids
T:12, M:4 (when D was final)
12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore"
6/14: Separated (I move)
1/15: H filed for D
5/15: D final
Re: Ganb8te 3 - conquering crow pose [Re: KGirl] #2517332
12/15/14 04:51 AM
12/15/14 04:51 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
New England
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Little Offline
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Little  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
New England
"worried about you considering X, hope you're all right"

Then let it go.


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Re: Ganb8te 3 - conquering crow pose [Re: Little] #2517347
12/15/14 10:41 AM
12/15/14 10:41 AM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
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gan Offline OP
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gan  Offline OP
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I went with "Hi H. The hostage situation downtown is rather alarming. Trust you are ok?"

.and got back:

"I'm ok. Thanks for checking. I leave on XX date. Would you like to get together for a drink before then?"

(First of all, phew).

Secondly, the game plan is out the window. I've generally done ok with the last few meet ups in terms of PMA etc but that approach hasn't changed the course of things much.

Thoughts on how to proceed?


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Re: Ganb8te 3 - conquering crow pose [Re: gan] #2517351
12/15/14 11:55 AM
12/15/14 11:55 AM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
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jim0987 Offline
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jim0987  Offline
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Posts: 1,720
A few days ago you said if he asks you'd suggest something fun to do. Is that still your plan?


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Re: Ganb8te 3 - conquering crow pose [Re: jim0987] #2517357
12/15/14 12:20 PM
12/15/14 12:20 PM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
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gan Offline OP
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gan  Offline OP
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Hi Jim, fair point. Yes, I did say that. I wasn't expecting that I would reach out (over highly unexpected circumstances mind) only to have him initiate back. Feels like I didn't get to play my hand, ya know?

I'm left questioning his motivations and am back questioning my approach. Is he incapable of initiating himself in which case I should initiate more? Or is he capable of initiating but not enough time elapses between contact in which case I need to stay dark. I just feel like I have no idea what to do at this point.


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Re: Ganb8te 3 - conquering crow pose [Re: gan] #2517359
12/15/14 12:37 PM
12/15/14 12:37 PM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
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gan Offline OP
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gan  Offline OP
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Also I feeling a bit like "what's the point"? He's heading off to his sister's wedding without me. Going to the wedding was actually one of the goals I set early on (missed that one). I meanwhile have been researching good places to go as a solo female traveler to make up for the fact that I am not going to the wedding...partly just so I can show him what a great time I'm having. This all bites.

Last edited by ganb8te; 12/15/14 12:40 PM.

H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Re: Ganb8te 3 - conquering crow pose [Re: gan] #2517408
12/15/14 03:00 PM
12/15/14 03:00 PM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
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jim0987 Offline
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jim0987  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
That it does.

Its do what works. I'm someone who mirrors, so I withdraw when they withdraw.

That's not to say you should pursue but not everyone is the same.

You could stick with your plan and suggest something fun. Just have no expectations and NOTHING relationship based to be said.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
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