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A Message from Michele
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Re: newcomer now receives mail in Hell [Re: HPoirot] #2520621
12/26/14 02:18 AM
12/26/14 02:18 AM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 148
L
LoveMyW Offline
Member
LoveMyW  Offline
Member
L
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 148
Good job Bravo.. Keep it up!!..


Me:35 W:31
S6 + S9
T: 10 years M: 7 years
BD: 7/2014
S: 8/2014
W has new BF: 12/2014
Still fighting the good fight!!..
Re: newcomer now receives mail in Hell [Re: LoveMyW] #2520625
12/26/14 02:33 AM
12/26/14 02:33 AM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 271
B
BigMac Offline
Member
BigMac  Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 271
Merry Christmas. Good job hanging in there dude.


Me: 35
Her: 33
D : 16
S : 9
Together: 14 years
Married: 12
She left 4/14/2014
Separated: 5/25/2014
OM Confirmed 7/2014
She filed 8/7/2014
I Filed 10/21/2014
Divorce final 2/12/2015
Re: newcomer now receives mail in Hell [Re: HPoirot] #2520626
12/26/14 02:35 AM
12/26/14 02:35 AM
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 52
Michigan
I
Ile Guy Offline
Member
Ile Guy  Offline
Member
I
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 52
Michigan
that's Ditto for my Bravo!!!! Way to go!!!!


Together 06-04
Married 10-05
She Left 10-11-14
I filed 10-22-14

SS18
S 7.5
S 6
Re: newcomer now receives mail in Hell [Re: Ile Guy] #2521288
12/29/14 04:15 AM
12/29/14 04:15 AM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 414
Godless NW
B
bravo61 Offline OP
Member
bravo61  Offline OP
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 414
Godless NW
wow thanks guys. i do feel not quite as on edge around her lately.

speaking of which she just left. i took the kids to church and then to a movie (annie-uh) but we had a great time just being together. she brought her brother by to say goodbye to the kids. she came in and immediately asked if we went to a movie so i guess she's starting to pay attention to my facebook. she also mentioned that my D plays her jewelry box every nite before bed (has our song on it-the one that i played for her to settle before bed since she was one). XW sent a text to that effect chrismas nite with a winky face. no response from me. no communication from then until today.

gave my BIL a hug and told him if he wants to do a ride along back home i can make it happen. told him he could've ridden w/me here and i had offered it to her. she said that she would like to do that here cause she would like to ride w/me (would have had to ride w/someone else back home). she mentioned that she so happy that the kids and i do fun things (made a point not to invite her right now). we made small talk about her work schedule and smiled a little back and forth. i affirmed her that she does a great job at work and i know she'll continue to do great. she likes my new couch and made herself comfortable. my D showed her her room and told her that Daddy took all the pics of mama out of his room and put them in hers.

for GAL, tomorrow i'm taking the kids to the OR coast to a aquarium. in Jan, i'm taking them on a train to Seattle to see the wharf and space needle. looking forward to it.

i also found out that a friend of hers from back home had no idea about any of this and is pissed. i made sure that i owned up to my contribution to the ending of our R and did not down XW.

i will say that so many people believe that she is going through pphase and think that she will snap out of it with time. i wish i could believe that but i cannot base my life off of that. i'm gonna continue to take care of me and continue on my journey and hhopefully she will take care of her issues and maybe someday we can reunite in the R that God intended for us to have. hope everyone is doing well.


M40 XW35
M11 T15
S9 D5
Bomb 6/3/14
Papers del 10/3/14
D final 12/5/14

I wish I could love you and make you believe it
'Cause that's all you ever wanted
From me

Re: newcomer now receives mail in Hell [Re: bravo61] #2521976
12/31/14 05:38 AM
12/31/14 05:38 AM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 414
Godless NW
B
bravo61 Offline OP
Member
bravo61  Offline OP
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 414
Godless NW
hello all in limbo/divorce land.

just got off the phone with the XW. she talked to the kids and then asked to speak to me. she asked what time i would like for her to come get the kids. i told her since she is working overnite tonight that if she wanted to wait until 2p that would be fine as i want her to get the opportunity to sleep. she said that she misses the kids and will come at noon. told her great and i'd see her then. i started to hang up and she said wait, she wanted to talk about something else. she said that donwton abbey new season starts sun and she wanted to watch it and i might want to catch up on the season (i haven't watched since season 2-w/her). i told her that i was bummed that i wouldn't be able to catch up. she said that she would love to watch it with me. i told her that i would DVR it and she could come over after the kids were in bed (here) and watch it together. i also told her that i had beer here. she said that sounds awesome and she's looking forward to it. told her to have a safe shift and i knew she would do great.

i'm mildly excited about that exchange and set plans for sun. but i'm not jumping over the moon. whatever happens, happens. it's out of my control. i'm gonna be myself at this point.

any suggestions, or am i on the right track?

on a GAL note, after running it by her (so as not to make her the bad guy if she said no-respecting her boundaries and request) she gave the ok for me to take the kids to Seattle on a 2 day trip over MLK weekend. we're gonna take a train and take in some sites and spend one nite there. the kids are loving all the adventures i'm taking them on. people have asked me about all the activities. i said that these were the things that i wanted to do as a family before i moved here. then i said, oh well, the show must go on...

hope everyone has a good day tomorrow.


M40 XW35
M11 T15
S9 D5
Bomb 6/3/14
Papers del 10/3/14
D final 12/5/14

I wish I could love you and make you believe it
'Cause that's all you ever wanted
From me

Re: newcomer now receives mail in Hell [Re: bravo61] #2522012
12/31/14 01:02 PM
12/31/14 01:02 PM
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 49
S
staytog Offline
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staytog  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 49
Awesome! Looks like you are on the right track. Good for you. Gives me hope!


H49 W48
She left 12/25/2013

SS26 SS 24 D20 S19 D 18

Wife moved out left 17, 18 an 19 yr olds at home when I was incarcerated for tax evasion to take a job and live 4 hours away.

I found DB 12/2014
Re: newcomer now receives mail in Hell [Re: staytog] #2523040
01/04/15 12:25 AM
01/04/15 12:25 AM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 414
Godless NW
B
bravo61 Offline OP
Member
bravo61  Offline OP
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 414
Godless NW
Question for the vets.

Should I spend the time with the XW on Sun nite? I have zero expectations but I don't see us as friends. The time will be spent with me alone. She's not coming over till after the kids are asleep so it's not "family" time. She has not exhibited any warming up behaviors this week and I've maintained my distant but pleasant attitude.

Could use some other perspectives.


M40 XW35
M11 T15
S9 D5
Bomb 6/3/14
Papers del 10/3/14
D final 12/5/14

I wish I could love you and make you believe it
'Cause that's all you ever wanted
From me

Re: newcomer now receives mail in Hell [Re: bravo61] #2523150
01/04/15 11:38 AM
01/04/15 11:38 AM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 414
Godless NW
B
bravo61 Offline OP
Member
bravo61  Offline OP
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 414
Godless NW
Anyone?


M40 XW35
M11 T15
S9 D5
Bomb 6/3/14
Papers del 10/3/14
D final 12/5/14

I wish I could love you and make you believe it
'Cause that's all you ever wanted
From me

Re: newcomer now receives mail in Hell [Re: bravo61] #2523156
01/04/15 12:02 PM
01/04/15 12:02 PM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
J
jim0987 Offline
Member
jim0987  Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
Hi Bravo,

my unvet opinion is why not? but its about what feels right. If you want to build a relationship with her then this may be the way, you just need to be relaxed on fun, but not pursue.

if you think it will be uncomfortable for you then i would avoid it, but having said that you've made the plan.

she is coming to see you so dont dismiss it as no warming up behaviour


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Re: newcomer now receives mail in Hell [Re: jim0987] #2523157
01/04/15 12:10 PM
01/04/15 12:10 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 841
H
HPoirot Offline
Member
HPoirot  Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 841
Yes do it no expectations. Have fun.


Me: 44
W: 45
S: 11
Married: 15
Together: 18
BD: 9/29/2014
OM discovered: 10/16/2014
I left her behind: 12/14/2014
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