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Ontheup #2532724 01/30/15 06:04 PM
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hjoseph Offline OP
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SRD,
I am sorry that you have to move out. I understand the feeling of not wanting to be with W any longer. I have the same sentiment.
The rest of your post really echoed what I have read in the past. I just needed to reset to get back on course. Thank you for that. This process is a cycle for me. I was at my lowest point when I heard OM has been playing with my boys. But, you are right. One day, WAWs will look back and regret their actions.


Me:28 W:24
M:4 years
S5, SS5, S2
Separated: 07/01/14
Asked for D 1/09/15
hjoseph #2533577 02/02/15 08:25 PM
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 39
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hjoseph Offline OP
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Hi everyone,
Here is an update:
On Saturday, I took SS to his soccer game. Per the agreement made with W and SS's far\ther, he spends every other week with his father. However, for the past few weeks, I have been keeping him during the same weeks I would have my S. I don't mind. To me, he is my S. I've been in his life since he was 6 mo. old. After the game, we went to museum. We had a blast. Took a lot pictures and posted them on FB. Afterwards, I received a call from grandma from SS father's side and she wanted for me to drop him off and I did. For the rest of the evening, S and I enjoyed the park.

On Sunday, I ran a few errands but I mostly spent the day with my S at the soccer field to practice. We watched the end of the Super Bowl afterwards. Later that evening, I logged in on FB and I noticed the W liked most of the pictures I posted of the museum (even the ones with me in it) and of the soccer practice. Very unusual because she had not done so since our separation. She would usually copy the ones with the boys and post them on her page or scroll past them and tell the boys she saw them on FB. I only brought this up because a mutual friend who is her age once told me that is somewhat of a significant event for them. Personally, I don't see it.

Overall,It was great weekend. I am still NC with the W. To be honest, it is starting to feel awkward calling her my W when I am starting to feel like I am not M anymore.

I am thriving through this separation. My finances are in order once again. I love my new civilian career. I will attend graduate school. Physically, I am never felt better. Back to 6:00 min mile pace. I am back on the path I was on before W went into the fog. I might even say farther along the path now. I still feel empty in regards to my emotional and physical needs. I was always hesitant to follow through with the idea of an actual romantic date. I've taken a few friends out but it was for the company. Now, I feel like I am ready. I don't know where that puts me. I am totally against cheating/having an A but I am excited with the new possibilities. I love my W and always will. Her A is still ongoing ( at least I think it is. I don't keep tabs on her) and she hasn't shown any interest in connecting with me. even as friends for the sake of the kids. We barely communicate about anything. She has not any inclination to move towards our M. At first, I thought she didn't know how to approach me because her behavior would seem over the top. I had asked for something. She answered and I said thank you. She replied with a your welcome. I know that seems ordinary but she has not been this polite to me since I left for deployment in 2013. My mother gave me some advice, based on another event she witnessed, in regards my W's inability to communicate with me. My mother said: "Her shame for what she has done to a good man might be too much for her. She would rather stay the course instead of having to admit any wrongdoing or admit she made a mistake. She knows she is about to lose you. I can tell she is hurting. She is smart but still young. Trust me, she will have to show her hand soon enough. D or R" I didn't believe it for my W seemed pretty sure in her decision. I left after I told her I couldn't live in an open M. A few months went by,I asked if we could R and she said no. I have been NC for months and she asked for D. Now, we don't talk unless its about the kids. I am pretty much hit the bottom of the barrel in her hierarchy of relationships. I laugh about it all the time with my colleagues. My exes would speak higher of me than my W would.

I am very thankful for the time she has given me. I am better for it, but I do miss talking to her. It wouldn't bother me if we were not M anymore. I miss my best friend. She was my equal in life.




Last edited by hjoseph; 02/02/15 08:25 PM.

Me:28 W:24
M:4 years
S5, SS5, S2
Separated: 07/01/14
Asked for D 1/09/15
hjoseph #2534272 02/04/15 04:26 PM
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 39
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hjoseph Offline OP
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Posts: 39
Just finished my last graduate school application. Now, I wait for decisions. I love learning. I can't wait to go back to school. So excited!

Earlier in the day yesterday, W called me three times. I let it go to VM. I called 4 hours later and all she wanted was to verify if I remembered that I had to leave our S's Social Security card at his school for pick up. In addition, this morning she TM that she changed her mind. She asked for me to keep the card and she will pass by later in the evening to pick it up. She added that she needs me to take SS to soccer game and that she plans to take the boys to the movies. I replied with just an ok.
Temp Check??


Me:28 W:24
M:4 years
S5, SS5, S2
Separated: 07/01/14
Asked for D 1/09/15
hjoseph #2536033 02/09/15 07:51 PM
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 39
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hjoseph Offline OP
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Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 39
Last Week. The W texts me asking me to take SS to his soccer game on Saturday 2/7/2015. I did not answer. She continues to text me that she plans to take the kids to the movies on Saturday and that she already bought the valentines day cards for the kids. Eventually, I replied ok and I wont be in town Saturday. Later that evening, she calls asking for SS' reading log for his school. In the background, I can hear SS yelling to ask me if I wanted to go the movies with them. I told him I couldn't I would be out of town and he says that they are on their way now to the movies. I told him I left already. I am out of town. W immediately chimes in and says: " you left already! Oh!" I said my goodbyes and hung up.

This morning around 6AM, W text me to confirm I will drop by SS' school to turn in his reading log.

Now, my question?

Is this string of new behavior from the W something I should take notice of? Our contacts have been initiated by her and she is contacting more often compared to when we first separated. It is as if she trying to make sure we cross paths. The change last week from dropping of the card at S' school to I will meet you at work was kind of weird.
I have read a lot of post where DB coaches have been advising to ease up on LRT when WAWs are now slowly coming back into the fold, but I don't feel like she is and I am afraid that if she is I might not recognize it.

Any advice anyone? Anyone?


Me:28 W:24
M:4 years
S5, SS5, S2
Separated: 07/01/14
Asked for D 1/09/15
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