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A Message from Michele
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Married young, W had affair w/ coworker Pt.2 #2509227
11/20/14 04:55 PM
11/20/14 04:55 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 177
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UpperCu Offline OP
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UpperCu  Offline OP
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Previous thread:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2496690&page=all

I'm meeting with my W at lunch today to discuss separation agreement changes after consulting with an attorney earlier this week. We haven't spoken more than a few words this week as I've been extremely distant. After her 2 months of lies, binge drinking, excessive partying, late nights, and a strip club visit, I'm now working on the "after the LRT" approach.

I text her to schedule a time to talk and at first she wanted to wait another week to talk, then she suggested we discuss through text and email today, but I told her I would rather meet in person to talk or I can just have the attorney write up the agreement how I want it since she is so busy. She compromised.

Prayers appreciated.


UpperCut
Me: 28 W: 25
Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs
Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home)
S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15)
No kids
Re: Married young, W had affair w/ coworker Pt.2 [Re: UpperCu] #2509230
11/20/14 04:59 PM
11/20/14 04:59 PM
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
Florida
S
Starsky309 Offline
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Starsky309  Offline
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Posts: 6,810
Florida
You got it on the prayers, UC, but why *are* you meeting to talk about this, rather than just having the attys present it to her?


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
Re: Married young, W had affair w/ coworker Pt.2 [Re: Starsky309] #2509249
11/20/14 05:40 PM
11/20/14 05:40 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Sotto Offline
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Hi Uppercut - I hope the meeting goes okay. Remember the useful DB phrases if you need them. I understand how you feel that way...I'll have to think about that etc..

Prayers from me too...

Toots.


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Re: Married young, W had affair w/ coworker Pt.2 [Re: Starsky309] #2509290
11/20/14 07:06 PM
11/20/14 07:06 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 177
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UpperCu Offline OP
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UpperCu  Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Starsky309
You got it on the prayers, UC, but why *are* you meeting to talk about this, rather than just having the attys present it to her?


Too late now... Just got done discussing with W. Atty advised I could discuss with her or he could write a letter. I went with the cheaper option.


UpperCut
Me: 28 W: 25
Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs
Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home)
S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15)
No kids
Re: Married young, W had affair w/ coworker Pt.2 [Re: UpperCu] #2509296
11/20/14 07:18 PM
11/20/14 07:18 PM
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
Florida
S
Starsky309 Offline
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Starsky309  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
Florida
How'd it go?


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
Re: Married young, W had affair w/ coworker Pt.2 [Re: Starsky309] #2509319
11/20/14 08:10 PM
11/20/14 08:10 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 177
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UpperCu Offline OP
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UpperCu  Offline OP
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Seems like I shook her tree, she wasn't expecting me to speak with an atty, but she isn't backing down from her waywardness.

I presented her with my proposed distribution of assets where she basically takes her new car with negative equity, her student loans, stuff bought with the stdt loans and some family heirlooms/antiques and I keep the house, my retirement accounts, my paid off truck, most everything in the house, our joint credit card debt, and no spousal support. She didn't like taking the underwater car, so I said "ok, atty suggested I do this plan or he thinks I have a good alienation of affection/criminal conversation case against OM."

She backed off and said "where do you want me to sign." The spewing started shortly after that though. "I can't believe you're threatening me!"

It seems OM doesn't know she has told me everything. She said he cheats on his GF all the time and makes up stories and he is prob sitting there thinking she is just doing the same. "Little does he know we are sitting here and you're talking about suing him." She said her actions are her fault and neither him nor me should be punished for her mistakes. I said "he knew you were married and made the choice to ruin our marriage too. I didn't want this and I don't want to go there but I have to do what is right to protect myself."

It ended with us looking each other deeply in the eyes and her saying "it's crazy how much a couple months can change everything"

I called her a nickname and she started crying. We left the restaurant and she said "keep in touch if you need me to sign anything."


UpperCut
Me: 28 W: 25
Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs
Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home)
S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15)
No kids
Re: Married young, W had affair w/ coworker Pt.2 [Re: UpperCu] #2509350
11/20/14 09:23 PM
11/20/14 09:23 PM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,104
Dallas, TX
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Jefe Offline
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Jefe  Offline
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Posts: 1,104
Dallas, TX
Quote:
I have a good alienation of affection/criminal conversation case against OM."

I am not familiar with this. ^^^ Please enlighten me.


Me 47 - W 35
M 9 - T 10
2 Daughters - 7 & 9
Discovery of EA- 8/4/14
S - 8/5/15
D mentioned - 9/11/14
R & Piecing - 3/17/15
Regard one another as more important than yourselves.
- Philippians 2:3
Re: Married young, W had affair w/ coworker Pt.2 [Re: Jefe] #2509361
11/20/14 09:40 PM
11/20/14 09:40 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 177
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UpperCu Offline OP
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UpperCu  Offline OP
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Posts: 177
Originally Posted By: Jefe
Quote:
I have a good alienation of affection/criminal conversation case against OM."

I am not familiar with this. ^^^ Please enlighten me.


It basically allows you to sue OM (or anyone who ruined your M) for damages for being a home wrecker. Atty advised the S agreement include a clause that would disallow my W from bringing the same type of suit against me. He said he sees it all the time where either party brings up false allegations after the S or D out of jealousy. Like if I were to start dating or marry someone else, W might allege a new GF was around before the S or D and I was the cheater. Look it up, there are 7 states with that law and it might affect you.


UpperCut
Me: 28 W: 25
Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs
Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home)
S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15)
No kids
Re: Married young, W had affair w/ coworker Pt.2 [Re: UpperCu] #2509369
11/20/14 09:54 PM
11/20/14 09:54 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
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Wonka Offline
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Wonka  Offline
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Posts: 7,319
UC,

Ok, ok. I'll bite.

What are the "damages" if the suit is brought against the OM for marital/affection alienation? What will you get out of it should you decide to pursue the case?

Re: Married young, W had affair w/ coworker Pt.2 [Re: UpperCu] #2509371
11/20/14 10:02 PM
11/20/14 10:02 PM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,104
Dallas, TX
J
Jefe Offline
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Jefe  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,104
Dallas, TX
Interesting. And there's a criminal component to it as well? Who knew.


Me 47 - W 35
M 9 - T 10
2 Daughters - 7 & 9
Discovery of EA- 8/4/14
S - 8/5/15
D mentioned - 9/11/14
R & Piecing - 3/17/15
Regard one another as more important than yourselves.
- Philippians 2:3
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