Feeling beat down

[Bela]

I'm not sure of anything anymore but especially my own feelings. Since my last post we are talking (not about us) and it's very civil, almost as before. He is still sleeping on the couch. i can hug him without being pushed away or angering him. Honestly there i don't feel anything emotional. It's very strange. I'm thankful the stress is gone from the house but not sure what to make of it.