I guess your posting is timely for me. I was thinking today about how most of my anger was placed on OW in my case. Who I still think of as a low-life scum of the earth type. (Maybe I am a little biased....) But anyway I have come to realize that my X was acting pretty scummy himself. When I tried to reason with him (Silly Me!) and asked him why it was okay for him to sleep with someone else's wife, my X actually replied: "Well, he is an idiot!" Okay, so that makes it alright.....
But I do think you should not talk to your son about it. Which is hard. I try not to talk to my sons about their dad and as I call her SOW (Sociopath Other Woman). Your son is your son, he will never be her son. When you find yourself wanting to say anything to him about her, picture a big red STOP sign, and STOP! Say to yourself STOP! And change to a nice positive topic.
This may well be one of the hardest things to do. I have complete faith you can do it.
Aloha!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Picked my son up from his friends house and the daughter of the OW was there. I feel like everybody is working against me to make sure my husband and the OW relationship works out! My sons friends parents happen to be friends with the OW..this is such a tangled web! Then I saw a text from my husband asking our son how his "Sis" was doing..meaning the OW daughter! I'm so pissed...why are they playing these mind games with the kids?
M:37 H: 38 Married 16/ T20 Son: 16 Caught cheating with HW (also my good friend) 8/20/14 Papers delivered: 9/4/14
OMG, I am so sorry. I will never understand why people have to become so damn cruel to someone they once couldn't fathom the thought of living without. It just does not compute with me.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Me either Jefe! I can't stop crying because I love my H so dearly and my son, I couldn't fathom causing either of them this much pain! With the feedback Ive gotten it sounds like I shouldn't speak to either of them about my feelings because they will both just get pushed further away. I feel like I'm in my own prison of hurt feelings a broken heart and confusion and there's no way out! This last little incident calling her "sis" really upset me..I feel so hopeless!
M:37 H: 38 Married 16/ T20 Son: 16 Caught cheating with HW (also my good friend) 8/20/14 Papers delivered: 9/4/14
Wenikitiki..I don't have much faith in myself right now and feel like anything I say or do is wrong and I'm just pushing both my H and son further away by saying anything at all! I'm really trying to talk less about the OW, but situations keep presenting themselves and I find it very hard to not try to clarify why this is so wrong to my son! Thank you for the bits of encouragement. .I really needed that right now! Im going to work on picturing the big red STOP sign and see if that helps!
M:37 H: 38 Married 16/ T20 Son: 16 Caught cheating with HW (also my good friend) 8/20/14 Papers delivered: 9/4/14
Well today was my birthday and while I enjoyed time with my family..I was very saddened that after being with my husband and his family for the past 20 years this was the first birthday where none of them thought to wish me a Happy Birthday!
I will make sure to be the bigger person and wish them all a Happy Birthday when their day comes!
M:37 H: 38 Married 16/ T20 Son: 16 Caught cheating with HW (also my good friend) 8/20/14 Papers delivered: 9/4/14
While I'm slowly making progress...by which I mean having more than a few seconds of thought free from my H and our situation. I'm still missing him like crazy with no signs of him even caring about me one smidgen! I still just don't get it?
We did meet for a parenting meeting where he tried to make a ridiculous settlement offer, and said If I didn't accept it they would fight me! They meaning his wealthy parents and him against me. I wish I could just settle but the offer he was making would prevent me from adequately providing a decent place to live for our son and myself! He thinks he can just throw some ridiculous amount of money at me and I should take it and just get out of his life!
How is it fair that he wanted all this and I'm the one having to make all the sacrifices? I've lost my family, my husband, the dreams we had of our future together, a friend, our house and all the memories to be of our family?
M:37 H: 38 Married 16/ T20 Son: 16 Caught cheating with HW (also my good friend) 8/20/14 Papers delivered: 9/4/14
Like them cheating on us wasn't hurtfull enough, they just want to twist that knife a little further into our backs!
Well it's their concious they will have to live with..pretty sad if you ask me,I couldn't live with that.
I just hate that it's a dispute at all, it could be so simple if he didn't want to leave me with practically nothing! And It's very intimidating when it's them against me, but im trying really hard to hold my ground and let my attorney handle what he can!
M:37 H: 38 Married 16/ T20 Son: 16 Caught cheating with HW (also my good friend) 8/20/14 Papers delivered: 9/4/14
