Clap along if you feel that happiness is the truth

[Atsbaby]

Thanks Job and Mighty!

Quick update, since I'm headed to work...

OW and sister have become stalkers and if they aren't careful the police will be involved.

Clark has really started to open up and admit some crazy stuff, I think we may be almost out of the tunnel. I'm still guarded, but enjoying everyday as it's own...I try not to think of the future too much because I really don't know what's in store for us. Hopefully a lifetime!

[Atsbaby]

Ok, so I don't have time yet to talk about my crazy stalkers, but the beiatch is on my mind a lot lately and I hate it.

Clark finally admitted to me that he slept with her, ugh, sick! I have so many questions but I'm not going to ask because I REALLY don't want to know, well sort of, no I don't.

How do I get his infidelity out of my head? I just can't stop thinking about the two of them and I REALLY want to. I know this is something that I have to work on, but I guess what would be a good starting point? Thinking of my happy place is not working

[Mighty]

It's killer, Ats. I'm not gonna lie. If you figure it out, let me know. Maybe he told you to get it out so you guys can move forward. Others may have a better idea about this. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Especially when things are turning around. But, I guess it is better to deal with it now so you can continue forward.

What is up with those crazy beeotches? Maybe he is really seeing what he was dealing with. Say what???

Hang in there. This is a tough road, Ats. Tread lightly, but forge ahead.

[Nitty]

One day at a time. I say this every day!

I found it so hard to get past any images of revealed infidelity, EA and PA. I took counseling called EMDR after BD. It was expensive but you don't need to do it very long and you can learn the techniques on your own.

Since Mr. Gritty released information in bits and pieces, it was like getting a BD weekly. Each time I would do my eye movements and thought exercises and it helped me survive some rough times.

Tapping helped, too, especially after he left and I was alone to obsess by myself, and I realized I could still see what he was spending some of our money on. Meditation and prayer always. I average about a week or two before I stop feeling shell-shocked.

Recently he disclosed some info that hit me hard, but I think I processed it better with all the practice I've had.

I'm reading a great book, called "Living and Loving After Betrayal." I liked Shirley Glass' work, but her method of infidelity recovery relies so heavily on the WAS being cooperative. Stosny's book is big on DIY recovery.

It's got exercises for those moments when your thoughts overtake you. People talk about thought-stopping, but this is homework that helps you get there.

Hang in there, sister!

[daring]

Hey ATS- haven't "seen" you in awhile- just checking in to make sure you're ok.

Nitty- I too use EMDR. Love it- very powerful tool for negotiating deep rooted issues.

[Atsbaby]

Thanks for checking on me, Daring. Still hanging in there. I've been out GALing...ok not really, but I have been quite busy. With Clark at home now, I find it hard to get online...nosy little fellow!

Everything is still moving forward. Clark says he stopped the divorce proceedings, but I don't think he has motioned for withdrawal! Hello? You want our money to be tied up forever? Not going to open that can of worms yet.

We haven't fought, some disagreements, me keeping my mouth shut quite often, so some things are sticking with these changes. I think Clark has moved back to my bedroom, he came in Wednesday night and has been there every night. No snuggling, but we'll get there. I'm still very guarded. Unfortunately OW creeps into my mind still...I don't like it. No current issues from her either. I feel like she's waiting for the right time to strike.

Kids are handling the changes well. They are pushing limits and testing us again. They got away with a lot when we were separated, not so much now.

Piecing is slooooooooooow, so not a lot to report. Hope to check in on you other guys soon! Gotta start my class now

[GoatGal]

Good to hear from you Ats!

Some real progress in your sitch!

And, Nitty, I just got that "Living and Loving" book as an audiobook.

And last year I learned the tapping and EMDR but somewhere along the line, I forgot all about it.

Thanks for reminding me. It does help.

---(G)GGG

[daring]

Yay ATS! Was hoping your break was because things were staying positive.
Glad you are taking things slowly- that really seems to be the best way.

Try not to let OW own in real estate in your mind. Keep the focus on you and Superman

[Atsbaby]

Okay...Clark hasn't quite transformed into Superman, but it is a nice start!!

Clark opened up a bit on Monday night. My BIL, who lives 2 hours from us, hosted my FIL (who plays a HUGE roll in Clark's MLC) this past weekend. So by Mon, bil had to let Clark know that "dad will never return to my house" story. When Clark passed this on to me, he talked about some childhood issues and how he hates that he can't remember stuff. Clark also stated if he ever acted like his dad, to "push him off a bridge and make it look like he jumped." I bit my tongue so hard!! I figured this was NOT the ideal time to tell him he has been acting like FIL for months!!

Two weeks ago, we went to see my BIL and his family. Clark was talking about it being weird, which it wasn't really. I was able to talk with sil for a couple of minutes and she stated they were totally confused about Clark and his wanting a D. We weren't able to talk long, but she agreed with me that Clark is acting like FIL.

So side note, I'm actually able to check out this site today because I'm not at work

BUT, the reasoning is not so good. S11 has been complaining about stomach issues for months, which I have said for these same months that it's gallbladder issues. We will find out tomorrow for sure after some testing!