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A Message from Michele
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Striking a flea on a tiger's head #2486015
09/08/14 02:25 AM
09/08/14 02:25 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 4,805
East coast
C
cat03 Offline OP
Member
cat03  Offline OP
Member
C
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 4,805
East coast
Let me be your cautionary tale, though really I came here to whine smirk

When arguing with ex, take care that you don't tick of her/him so much that that thing he agreed to let you have, in my case, every other weekend with the kids, he takes away.

I was upset that he won't help me pay the half for my son's taewondo class as he's been doing for 2 yrs, he even told me to sign up for two more. Now he claims he can't afford it (who knows what happened to the big inheritance he got from mom).

Bottom line is, I ticked him off by saying "you don't care about him..." and then he quoted our D agreement that I had to work with his crazy schedule (every weekend off) to have the kids. My kids don't like it there, he is too busy with other stuff, they are happier with me. I dont' want to drag this to court and make it ugly, since there is no abuse I have no grounds. My kids are 16 and 12, legally the little one cannot decide where to stay.

So here I am, with a lump in my thought about to burst... my only days off and I won't see them.
He refuses to talk on the phone, only text... I pray he will calm down and might change his mind. Now off to read the D agreement a bit better and give it til Wednesday to bring this up again and swallow my pride and talk to him.

Even my son knew better, he told me, "what would do if I were to say 'you don't care about me, buy me that game', would you buy it?"
From the mouth of babes.


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

30something
2kids
survivor of S, MLC, A, D
I have peace in my heart, at last.
Re: Striking a flea on a tiger's head [Re: cat03] #2486057
09/08/14 11:40 AM
09/08/14 11:40 AM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
Canada
W
whatisis Offline
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whatisis  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
Canada
Sometimes an apology can be helpful and unexpected. You said something you wish you hadn't, you're human. Now you face up to it and try to repair it. I'm not saying he shouldn't pay for classes but, you're son is right, saying he doesn't care about them was hurtful (that said, I don't know him and maybe he is a d@ck but..). To your credit, you know it and recognize what you said wasn't a proper response (it was human enough but not good for the co-parenting role you have to play with him). I tore a strip off my ex a few weeks ago when she phoned me and began ranting about how she has to do everything blah blah blah...which is total BS...and I'm the last person to lash out in anger but it happens. Isn't divorce fun...NOT.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
Re: Striking a flea on a tiger's head [Re: whatisis] #2486080
09/08/14 01:02 PM
09/08/14 01:02 PM
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,877
VA
A
adinva Offline
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adinva  Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,877
VA
Ditto to what wii suggests. And you still have the power. Apologizing because it's the right thing to do, and it's who you are, and feeling good about that...is the opposite of swallowing your pride.


Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
__
Happiness is a warm puppy.

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

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