Let me be your cautionary tale, though really I came here to whine
When arguing with ex, take care that you don't tick of her/him so much that that thing he agreed to let you have, in my case, every other weekend with the kids, he takes away.
I was upset that he won't help me pay the half for my son's taewondo class as he's been doing for 2 yrs, he even told me to sign up for two more. Now he claims he can't afford it (who knows what happened to the big inheritance he got from mom).
Bottom line is, I ticked him off by saying "you don't care about him..." and then he quoted our D agreement that I had to work with his crazy schedule (every weekend off) to have the kids. My kids don't like it there, he is too busy with other stuff, they are happier with me. I dont' want to drag this to court and make it ugly, since there is no abuse I have no grounds. My kids are 16 and 12, legally the little one cannot decide where to stay.
So here I am, with a lump in my thought about to burst... my only days off and I won't see them. He refuses to talk on the phone, only text... I pray he will calm down and might change his mind. Now off to read the D agreement a bit better and give it til Wednesday to bring this up again and swallow my pride and talk to him.
Even my son knew better, he told me, "what would do if I were to say 'you don't care about me, buy me that game', would you buy it?" From the mouth of babes.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Re: Striking a flea on a tiger's head
#2486057 09/08/1411:40 AM09/08/1411:40 AM
Sometimes an apology can be helpful and unexpected. You said something you wish you hadn't, you're human. Now you face up to it and try to repair it. I'm not saying he shouldn't pay for classes but, you're son is right, saying he doesn't care about them was hurtful (that said, I don't know him and maybe he is a d@ck but..). To your credit, you know it and recognize what you said wasn't a proper response (it was human enough but not good for the co-parenting role you have to play with him). I tore a strip off my ex a few weeks ago when she phoned me and began ranting about how she has to do everything blah blah blah...which is total BS...and I'm the last person to lash out in anger but it happens. Isn't divorce fun...NOT.
Ditto to what wii suggests. And you still have the power. Apologizing because it's the right thing to do, and it's who you are, and feeling good about that...is the opposite of swallowing your pride.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.