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Thanks zeus. Didn't see it until you threw that 2x4 at me. I want to be moving forward for myself and let her see the changes. If she sees them great but I am not the type to go and have 1 nights stands. I am better than that. Comfort with that is only for a little bit than you are back at feeling crappy. I want my change to be set in stone and for me. I can't stop thinking of her with OM. I know that will go away and I am not using that against her. It is hard to though. I haven't I won't because I am better than that and I don't want to hurt her. I will comfort her when she needs comfort and not judge her on things she has done.

On another note, I went to go get the little guy today and I said that I would drop them off Sunday night and I would talk to her then and she said oh we will talk before that. Good sign but not going to get my hopes up.


ME 31 / W 35
M 3 / T 7
S 2 / S 14 D 5 / D 8

ME MOVED OUT 06/07/14
W THINKS D WOULD BE BEST FOR EVERYONE 7/2/14
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Question about 180. If she is expecting me to stay around and not go out with other women, wouldn't the opposite be that I go out with women? I am not planning on doing this but it is kinda confusing to me


ME 31 / W 35
M 3 / T 7
S 2 / S 14 D 5 / D 8

ME MOVED OUT 06/07/14
W THINKS D WOULD BE BEST FOR EVERYONE 7/2/14
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Posts: 18,666
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Quote:
Well interesting couple days. She called to the other day because she needed cash for the kids. I stopped by and we talked about M her with OM me with OW. And it didn't bother her that I was with OW. I was hurt by OM but wasn't devistated. I told her I was going to have to move on and lose hope that the relationship w a single going to work out and she said she didn't like that but she wanted her cake and eat it to.


Wait a minute, when did OM and OW come on the scene?


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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OW came when well the 1 time came 5 days after the Death was dropped and her OM came the day after she said she wanted the D


ME 31 / W 35
M 3 / T 7
S 2 / S 14 D 5 / D 8

ME MOVED OUT 06/07/14
W THINKS D WOULD BE BEST FOR EVERYONE 7/2/14
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 41
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Update so W called to ask to borrow my car because it had gas in it so she can go out of town with her cousin two nights ago. I didn't mind so I let her borrow it. I went the next morning to pick up my step D because I was taking the kids to the amusement park and said I would drop her off with her dad after. W proceed to tell me of her night and what she did after I asked if she had fun. The usual answer is Yes and nothing else. I then got a call that night from her to keep the kids an extra day because she wanted to go to her cousins again and proceeded to tell me about her day and who she hung out with. Again very unusual for recent behavior. Would this be a little change I am seeing or am I making this bigger than it should be? I am keeping up with myself. I am taking a salsa class tomorrow after work something which I have wanted to do for years.


ME 31 / W 35
M 3 / T 7
S 2 / S 14 D 5 / D 8

ME MOVED OUT 06/07/14
W THINKS D WOULD BE BEST FOR EVERYONE 7/2/14
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
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Are you saying 5 days after your W said she wanted a D, you had another woman?


Last edited by sandi2; 07/27/14 11:15 PM.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Yeah I did and I regret it because I thought that was what you are supposed to do when you get divorced and it was awful. I felt like crap and was ashamed that I did it. Then I learned of this forum and DB and DR and have been working on myself.

Last edited by HeadUp; 07/28/14 02:12 AM.

ME 31 / W 35
M 3 / T 7
S 2 / S 14 D 5 / D 8

ME MOVED OUT 06/07/14
W THINKS D WOULD BE BEST FOR EVERYONE 7/2/14
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 41
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Well news is ah is that the D is on hold and I keep working on myself and watching my children. Told her Last night when I asked her to pick up the kids early on Sunday and after she yelled and said I was upset and starting drama (which I wasnt), that I was tired of her using me and that she is nice to me when she wants something but when I ever ask she says I am upset and starting an argument. She then text some bad things but I am done with her controlling my emotions. I want to talk to her like we use to. She is angry and I have validated her about her anger but I won't be verbally belittled because I ask for fairness in this situation. I miss my wife not this woman. Forward is the only direction I am going and she will be with me or she wont. Thank you all.


ME 31 / W 35
M 3 / T 7
S 2 / S 14 D 5 / D 8

ME MOVED OUT 06/07/14
W THINKS D WOULD BE BEST FOR EVERYONE 7/2/14
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,708
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Head up- you ever read these anymore?


Me:38 XW:38
T:11 years M:8 years
Kids: S14, D11, D7
BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
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