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Nettles #2470639 07/19/14 07:56 PM
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Ben2010 Offline OP
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Yeah I think youre right Nettles. Also the beauty of it is that I know that when we do things, that she WANTS to do them, not because she feels any pressure or anything from me. Feels so much better that way. Not that Im used to pressuring her into things, but you know what I mean.


M:33
W:30
T:10 M:2
B/D: 5/27/14
S: 5/28/14
Wife moved back in 7/18/14
Nettles #2470645 07/19/14 08:27 PM
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Oh wow Ben the last part almost made me cry! I'm so happy the way this is going for you and I hope the rest of us get to experience a turn around like this too! smile

Good luck and keep up the great work!
Hugs, Lisa


Me: 34 H: 30
M: 4 years
BD: 6/15/14
He moved out 6/30/14
OW1: EA then PA after BD
Now he's dating multiple OWs
I'm over it and moving on.
LisaB #2470648 07/19/14 08:45 PM
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Ben2010 Offline OP
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Thanks Lisa,

I just want to make sure that people know that there is hope out there no matter what. It isnt the same for every situation, but I have dealt with her going from what seemed like hating me to pursuing me all over again just by following basic steps here and in the books. Ive grown during this process as a person and Im excited to see more changes in myself for the future.

On a side note though, I think Im addicted to this site now...As I dont have that much to do at work, I get to read a ton of these stories on here and try to help others which I like and is kind of a new thing for me.


M:33
W:30
T:10 M:2
B/D: 5/27/14
S: 5/28/14
Wife moved back in 7/18/14
Ben2010 #2470652 07/19/14 08:49 PM
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Ben, I am So Happy for your Sitch!!! Keep it going stay positive and I wish you both forever Happiness.

Nettles #2470663 07/19/14 09:17 PM
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I am so happy for you! Keep up the good changes and remember to listen, listen, listen!


M: 37 H: 36
M: 13 T: 18
D: 7
Bomb: 6/30/14
Separation: 8/11/14

Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.
Ss06 #2471080 07/21/14 09:16 PM
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Ben2010 Offline OP
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Thanks cq and ss!

Ok, so she spent the entire weekend back at home with me. Was a great time! We ended up talking about us and our future and eventually house shopping. Didnt get a lot of time together since I had to work on Saturday and she had the baby shower to go to.

Went to church last night and then to a sushi place. Ended up having a great meal, sorry Wonka no Playboy roll on the menu...Went home and went for a walk at the local park and then drove around looking at houses a bit. Also on a side note, had lots of sex this weekend lol.

The way it is going now its as if nothing happened between us at all. She mentioned something about us being "worked out" and I told her that I still wanted to pursue MC or at least some sort of marriage building activity/retreat. I know that communication issues will end up resurfacing between us and I dont want to fall back into the same old routine and be back in the same sitch in 6 months. I know that she is thrilled with who I am becoming right now, but that isnt the only issue that we have. I can honestly say that she doesnt need to change as much as I do. We both need help in learning to communicate effectively, but she doesnt have the kind of personal issues that I do.

Talked to my brother about all of this and realized that it was just 3 weeks ago that I was feeling as if my world had crumbled down around me and here we are now. It really can change in no time at all. Hang in there DBers and keep fighting.


M:33
W:30
T:10 M:2
B/D: 5/27/14
S: 5/28/14
Wife moved back in 7/18/14
Ben2010 #2471468 07/22/14 10:29 PM
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Good call Ben on asking for MC and really incredible to see how far you have come so quickly!

Have you looked into Retrouvaille or something similar?


M:36 W:34
T:9,M:4
Me,WAH:7/2011
My apology:12/2012
Her,WAW:01/2013
ILYBINILWY:4/2013
W's EA:5/2013
Sep:9/2013
2nd EA signs:03/2014
Anders #2472328 07/25/14 11:57 AM
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gan Offline
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Wow, Ben. Just caught up on your story. Looks like you've navigated these waters very well indeed. What a turn around!


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
gan #2472830 07/26/14 10:35 PM
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Ben,

Remember easy as it does...slow and steady.

Wonka #2472840 07/26/14 10:52 PM
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Congrats Ben! So happy for you... Remember your changes - don't revert back to old habits!


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
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