She is not in nursing school anymore. She didnt do so well with it last semester and I dont think she knows exactly what she wants to do with her career right now.
I can see that. She had a few other things going on.
Originally Posted By: Ben2010
She is very scared of taking risks on things.
Hmmm. I've read a lot about a huge risk she took.
Originally Posted By: Ben2010
I try to be as supportive as possible when the opportunity arises. Doesnt seem to make much of a difference.
What is that last sentence? Explain.
me: 45 W:45 M 20 years T 22 years S14, S13, S11, D9 BD 2/28/14 D papers served 3/3/14 I moved out 3/15/14 MC start 4/2/14 I moved in 6/2/14 D suit withdrawn 6/30/14
LOL im assuming the risk you are talking about is marrying me?
The last sentence there is talking about me encouraging her to just try to do something that she enjoys. Even last night for example, we talked about her doing photography, which she loves. Ive told her many times that I would find a way to make it work financially while she gets acclimated to it. She doesnt feel comfortable trying out something like that. It isnt even the money part of it that she worries about. I think she is just afraid of failing or having to try to figure the whole "business" aspect of it out. She has been in love with photography since Ive known her. It would be a great job for her IMO. She hates the place she works at now.
M:33 W:30 T:10 M:2 B/D: 5/27/14 S: 5/28/14 Wife moved back in 7/18/14
LOL im assuming the risk you are talking about is marrying me?
Not at all. The risk was to leave to make things better.
Originally Posted By: Ben2010
The last sentence there is talking about me encouraging her to just try to do something that she enjoys.
Just because she doesn't act on an opportunity doesn't mean it doesn't matter to her that you are supportive. It's her choice. She just tried nursing and that didn't work out. Her ego is bruised. Keep supporting her even if she stays where she for a long time.
me: 45 W:45 M 20 years T 22 years S14, S13, S11, D9 BD 2/28/14 D papers served 3/3/14 I moved out 3/15/14 MC start 4/2/14 I moved in 6/2/14 D suit withdrawn 6/30/14
Yeah youre right man. I still get the credit for being in her corner I suppose. I agree with you on the bruised ego part of it, but she has been that way for as long as Ive known her. Way before the nursing thing. It was a surprise to me that she even went for the nursing thing to begin with. I will just keep supporting her though. One day when she takes a leap she will need it.
M:33 W:30 T:10 M:2 B/D: 5/27/14 S: 5/28/14 Wife moved back in 7/18/14
I still get the credit for being in her corner I suppose.
What? There isn't a scoreboard for keeping track of things. You support her because you love her and that's what people do in M.
Maybe she never "takes a leap". Is that going to be an issue?
me: 45 W:45 M 20 years T 22 years S14, S13, S11, D9 BD 2/28/14 D papers served 3/3/14 I moved out 3/15/14 MC start 4/2/14 I moved in 6/2/14 D suit withdrawn 6/30/14
Credit in the Love Bank my friend. Thats what Im talking about. And no it will not be an issue if she never takes a leap. I wish she would though. She has never been happy at her current job and has never really had another one. Been there since she was 18. Doesnt know that there are places out there that she can work and not be miserable.
M:33 W:30 T:10 M:2 B/D: 5/27/14 S: 5/28/14 Wife moved back in 7/18/14
I don't like that. Easily turns in to "I've built up X in the bank, so I can do Y."
Is "Love Bank" in DR or DB?
me: 45 W:45 M 20 years T 22 years S14, S13, S11, D9 BD 2/28/14 D papers served 3/3/14 I moved out 3/15/14 MC start 4/2/14 I moved in 6/2/14 D suit withdrawn 6/30/14
No but it is in 5LL. Or Love tank as it is in 5LL. And it isnt about I built up X and now I can do Y. Its about filling hers up so that she feels loved.
Last edited by Ben2010; 07/19/1402:27 AM.
M:33 W:30 T:10 M:2 B/D: 5/27/14 S: 5/28/14 Wife moved back in 7/18/14
Last night...W came over to watch a movie. We watched Noah and ate Taco Bell which I picked up on the way home. Had a good time pointing out all of the inaccuracies in the movie compared to the Bible.
Then she informed me that she would be staying the night! This was a first and I didnt ask her to or even bring it up in any way. I said "oh yeah?" She said "yeah, but Im wearing my chastity belt to bed" and laughed. I laughed too and said "ok". We went to bed and I woke up a bit early today. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and finding myself holding her hand. Never done that before. When I woke up I started scratching her stomach and arms for her. At one point I stopped and pulled her shirt back down as I didnt want her to think that I was pressuring her into sex. Then returned to her arm instead. The next thing I know she was lifting her shirt back up to indicate that she wanted me to keep going on her stomach, so I went back to that...Then it happened. She lifted up her panties for me to put my hand in there!!! I didnt hesitate at all and kind of laughed. So we ended up having sex and it was amazing.
She has a baby shower to go to today and I am at work. We ended up taking a shower together also which hasnt happened in forever either. Did some more talking about apartments and a vacation for our anniversary too. Im not pushing anything at all and am not expecting that this means that we are "piecing" or that she is moving back in. Just saying it was sex that we both wanted and that is a step in the right direction maybe. She said that she wanted to do something after I get off work today too. I said ok and will make it another light casual night. But I am excited about sushi time tomorrow.
I just want to make a quick note to all of you that are still fighting the fight here. It can change and turn around so quickly to a positive. Dont give up and dont ASSUME anything about it. Im not saying that Im the perfect model or anything close, but that should give you all hope as I have made so many mistakes and it is still going in the right direction. Still a lot of work to do for me, but its starting to pay off.
M:33 W:30 T:10 M:2 B/D: 5/27/14 S: 5/28/14 Wife moved back in 7/18/14
Seems this supposed risk-averse girl doesn't mind driving the ship. Looks like the best play for now is to say "aye aye, Captain!"
me: 45 W:45 M 20 years T 22 years S14, S13, S11, D9 BD 2/28/14 D papers served 3/3/14 I moved out 3/15/14 MC start 4/2/14 I moved in 6/2/14 D suit withdrawn 6/30/14
