On November 11th of 2011 a very broken, very confused, very hurt, very depressed Crimson found his way onto this board after reading DR -- Crimson's First Post
Nearly one month later, the best friend that I have never met reached out and started to help pull me out of the pit I was in and out of my own head, grief and sorrow. She encouraged me to do something I hadn't done since the bomb date....look at Crimson...fix Crimson....and do it FOR Crimson...and if my wife wants onboard, great. She helped me learn that I can only control me, that I need to lose my scorecards ("because W has one of her own and I assure you you are not winning on it), to play the hand I was dealt, and to take care of myself.
25yearsmlc, I don't know you....I couldn't pick you out of a crowd or even if you were looking me dead in the face but I have told many people in my real life of how valuable you have been to me and how big of a part you have played in my evolution...in my becoming a better man, husband and father.
The love and concern you have had for me has been abundantly clear from your first post and you are the first to push me in the right direction, call me a jacka$$ when necessary or whack me with a 2x4 to get me to see straight. In no exaggerated terms, you may have saved my life, 25. At a bare minimum, from behind a keyboard you have inspired and encouraged me more than nearly anyone that has been in my circle since all of this began.
More importantly, you always have expressed hope for me and my sitch....though often balanced with reality. There have literally been times when one post from you has given that deep breath that I needed or that one word or sentence that provided me with legs to keep on moving forward....even through the darkest of moments including the actual day the divorce agreement was finalized.
I never could say "I love you" freely to anyone (friend or family) without feeling awkward or "bumpy" inside - that has changed since BD and my awakening. I can honestly say, 25, that I love you - even though I have never met you and I am grateful that you were directed into my life....it was the work of God....I am sure of it.
Congrats on 10,000 posts and all that you have done for me and others. I would not be here or the new person I am without you. I mean that.
I'm glad you found what you needed brother. Cheers!
"Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing, and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you. And stay." ~ Will Smith
I can't say that I really blushed when I read your note. I teared up. Thank you.
I recall in my darkest times, wondering if other people's marital ;problems hurt as much as mine, and quickly realized they did.
And there must be a LOT of walking wounded in our midst. Which is amazing and sad. Amazing b/c somehow the world keeps turning despite our broken hearts.
But I have seen more growth in you, borne of courageous hard work, than in most. So to me, you are a success story of divorce busting, even though the marriage has not yet been saved.
I'd say YOU have been saved, and it was an honor of to be a part of that.
What I "know" about you is that there exists many women who'd be glad to be in your life. When you are ready, you'll let one in. I don't know if it'll be your ex w, but you won't be alone forever. You're too loving and too worthy of love for women not to notice. (Heck, you're one popular guy around here!)
Hope we meet in person some day, and I hope you have lots of kids in your life someday, along with your beautiful son. You're too good a man to waste your life with a sense of "want and lacking".
You deserve more. You'll get more...in time and when you are ready. ((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I agree. I'm in the midst of 'everything' and 25 is the one person who is keeping me right and giving me a kick in the ass when I need (which seems all the time lol). Ty 25. You're a star!!!
M 35 W 31 D 10 Married 3 years Together 11 Single since Nov 13 Moved out Dec 13 ILYBNILWY, 'I don't want to be a boring housewife, 'I don't fancy you any more' OM confirmed Jun 14
Thanks, 25....not to hijack your appreciation thread, but I hope you are right. These last two weeks have brought about another level of "wake-up" for me, as I think I am finally handing all of this situation over to God. I remember you saying once in a post to me that you would say that every day to yourself in the shower....that you are handing it over to God. I think I have finally arrived there and listen, I am NOT historically the most religious person you are going to find roving the face of the earth. But there are times when I am writing my thoughts, feelings, wishes and prayers in a little book and it feels as if I am being spoken to on one level or another and I write those words words down. Am I crazy? Hell - I don't know. Some would think I am crazy just by virtue of the fact that I am still here.....but in those moments when I write and feel like I hear a voice from within I experience a little bit of peace....real or imagined. I am just trying to listen and find a better path.
